Please critique my Why Penn essay

<p>If anyone is willing to, please critique my Penn essay (ASAP is preferred) and tell me what I need to change. If you are interested, please leave your email address. Thanks a lot in advance (I trust you wont be plagarizing lol).</p>

<p>i finished mine. <a href="mailto:maraxus.lonewolf@gmail.com">maraxus.lonewolf@gmail.com</a></p>

<p>sure. it would be even better if you could look over one of mine (not for Penn). PM me.</p>

<p><a href="mailto:jskim3487@hotmail.com">jskim3487@hotmail.com</a></p>

<p>sure i'll read it. PM me. (I already sent in my application btw)</p>

<p>I'd like to read it!</p>

<p><a href="mailto:xhohosntwinkiesx@aol.com">xhohosntwinkiesx@aol.com</a></p>

<p>Please do send!</p>

<p>Me too.</p>

<p><a href="mailto:furyofwind@yahoo.com">furyofwind@yahoo.com</a></p>

<p>If it's ok, I'd like to send the last couple of you my other Penn essay instead, about my first experience, as that, I think, needs more work.</p>