<p>Any changes or is it okay, thanks.</p>
<pre><code> A marvelously entertaining and popular sport in Connecticut is their women's college basketball team. It is hard to believe when it was not so popular. Only a few years ago, my friends and I went to a women's basketball game, and we could get seats for free near center court, especially on Sunday afternoons. Of course that was before names such as Rebecca Lobo, Jenny Risotto, and Karen Walters became household words. Rebecca Lobo wrote a book with her mother called Home-Court Advantage, which was a best seller in Connecticut. If more than a couple of hundred fans showed up for a game, and it was considered a big turnout. Games were played in practically silent gyms, because the fans didn't care who won. Nowadays, it is almost impossible to buy tickets to a women's basketball game, because you can't get seats unless you know someone.
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<p>See my note on the other thread about sharing essays here. However:</p>
<p>This is not a good essay.
Use any essay prompt to talk about you. This is not at all about you. You can still discuss womens basketball, but make it about you. (this is not to be used, just setting the example).
"15 years ago I went to my first UConn Womens Basketball Game. Tickets were free, and I could get seats right at center court. Slow moving and low scoring were my initial reaction to watching the game, but in time I began to see the level of teamwork and communication they shared on the court. In my job as an electrician, I could see the benefit of treating my crew as a team, rather than a group of individuals.</p>
<p>As the sport became more popular to watch, ticket prices rose and good seats were harder to come by. As my seats got worse and worse, I learned to appreciate the game from a new perspective. Moments of sportsmanship often go unnoticed as you follow the ball from courtside seats, but from the stands I could see athletes appreciating booth teammates and competitors, their skills and their power. I learned to look around my job site and realize that people all around me had things I could learn from, and things I could teach them.</p>
<p>As the sport has become massively popular, I began to see the student body in a new light. I had been an outsider looking in, but as I watch the team warm up, I see their fellow students cheer them on, bringing out the best in them. On my job site, I wanted the same thing. I saw how a bit of encouragement could make the whole job go better. But equally important is that watching the crowd, I knew I wanted everything that UConn has to offer. Not the sports, but the commitment, the competition, the challenge and the teamwork. I want to be part of that student body."</p>
<p>-Yes, I know it is corny, (and includes some intentionally bad writing) but I think it helps show you how you turn your love of something into something that speaks about you.</p>
<p>This sounds like a newspaper article for a sporting news, not a good essay.
It tells very little of you and what drives you… becoming part of school involves you contributing in some way… tell more of your talents and abilities… hope this helps…</p>