<p>Hey guys, I will be very grateful if you can spend some time to read my essay and give me your feedback and grade it.
Here are my concerns:
1. My approach in this essay is a little different to "traditional" way to get high marks, so I am a little worry.
2. In your opinion, is my essay off topic? Am I stuffing too much in my essay?
Thank you very much.</p>
<h2>Prompt : Is the world changing for the better?</h2>
<p>The world puts on its new face today as a result of great advances in human's technology. One aspect people face every day is communication. The question is Is it changing for the better, or people just can communicate better, but not yet understand each other.</p>
<p>Technologies allow us to communicate not only to any place in the world, regardless in the desert or deep bellow the ocean, but also with better means to make our communication quality better. A phone call can now be integrated with videos; social networks can instantly tell our acquaintances what we are doing and receive their comments. Better communication exposes people to new knowledge and ideas around the world. If one knows where to look at in this endless network, what he/she gets surely will change his/her life forever. Since access to information can never be easier, the pace of unfolding one's characteristic is greatly accelerated. That is when the problem rears its ugly head.</p>
<p>In this world, people can be easily keep busy with the progress of mining the Internet, they can lost themselves in the virtual world that they can easily become the master. The media, somehow, discourage people's willingness to understand each other because they have stronger inclination to find a prepared answer, accompanied by photos, videos and comments that become so popular in newspaper today. Moreover, because of the trend of entertaining page like 9gag.com, which is described as "The place to bury one's soul", leads to easy and almost meaningless laugh. Whenever people encounter some hardship in their relation, these pages are loyally there to give them forgetfulness to all of their problems. The social networks, which are built primarily to encourage communication, in fact, made little changes. How many meaningful conversations really are there in these wonderful networks? Ironically, people see more and more problem originated from careless sharing.</p>
<p>Indeed, technology provides us with great convenience in communication. However, depending on one's utilizing, these shining tools can give what one desires, or to kill most of the time before one knows it. The same rule applies for changes in our world today. Changes are neither good nor bad, but it depends on how people use them.</p>