Please grade essay!

Test Preparation
1

<p>Are widely held views often wrong, or are such views more likely to be correct?</p>

<pre><code>Regardless of popular belief, a view that's most clearly cited with elegant examples and proof is the one that most often survives history and ultimately is thought of as the right one, if there may be any opposition. Too often in ancient times has the widely accepted view been torn away by someone who firmly stands by his own.

Isaac Newton, a man of logic and reason, defied all of the trite positions that the men around him stood by. While others favored their own systems of the universe based on observations and little mathematics, Newton embraced both and made fundamental changes to physics and philosophy. Most people viewed Newton as an experienced brat who was getting in their way, but, with the help of a couple of popular friends who believed in him and his book on Natural Philosophy, he embarrassed and yet intrigued all previous enemies (which, to emphasize, were much in population).

Galileo Galilee, who died right before Newton's death, was rather very popular and made very profound theories on how the universe works. Of course, at his time, it was only worse for him when it came to opposition; the Church ruled with even more power and was more cruel in punishments. Galileo, for his view that was publicly given, was subject to the Church's wrath, and suffered in-house arrest for life. Of course, the widely believed theological views were mostly wrong when describing the universe, and, because of this, the Church had the ability to denounce Galileo and his theories, even when he was ultimately right.

There is no doubt that these men were correct in their theories of the universe, and, so, over time, it only began to become clearer. Now, in the world of science, we humbly respect these men for their positions that they stood by regardless of the popular belief in their times.
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<p>eh, I don't know at all about the length, the truthfulness of the examples, I did it in 15 minutes, and it's my first SAT practice essay, so...can someone please grade as if it was an actual test essay? I just want to see what I can score with all these problems. thanks!</p>

2

<p>bump</p>

<p>10char</p>

3

<p>You’re on the right track. Your writing mechanics are good for a 25 minute draft, and your underlying choice of examples is good.</p>

<p>What you need to work on is adding breadth to the examples – to develop them. They are lightweight in making a convincing case for either Galileo or Newton. You “hint” at the prevailing view and on the “correct” view, but in both cases you fail to quantify these. While your point that much of the science preceding Newton lacked mathematical rigor, is Newton’s analytic view (innovation of a mathematical foundation for science) the innovation that is your core example? It’s not clear. </p>

<p>Your example regarding Galileo has similar issues – what was the prevailing view that Galileo challenged. After all, Galileo the scientist is renowned for multiple achievements. You only hint that your thesis is related to Galileo’s view/proof of the Helio-centric universe. But how is the reader supposed to know that this is your point. Because it’s common knowledge? In fact Galileo’s other innovations (pendulum, telescope, etc.) received great acclaim from his contemporaries, as well as from the church.</p>

<p>You eventually connect both Newton and Galileo to “theories of the universe” – this in your conclusion. But even here it’s not clear what you mean by that. There are innumerable theories that have to do with the universe.</p>

<p>In the essay don’t hint. That assumes that the reader already knows.</p>

<p>By adding breadth to your two examples your essay could easily grow to 400 words. That’s where you’d want it be.</p>

<p>In it’s current form you’re likely to get a 7/8.</p>

4

<p>yes, yes, thank you!</p>

<p>It wasn’t 25 min; I did it in 15, which may be why everything wasn’t exactly thorough. Also, when I talk about theories of the universe in the conclusion, I say “their” to limit it very much to the examples given. Still, yes, I can see that my examples are lacking thoroughness. Thanks for the input</p>