Please grade my ACT Essay!

Test Preparation ACT Preparation
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Hi everyone,

this is my first attempt at the ACT essay!
I’d be really grateful if you could provide me with a rough score and some feedback as to how I could improve :slight_smile: thank you!!

In some cities, restaurants must provide detailed nutritional information, including calorie, saturated fat carbohydrate and sodium on fast food menu boards and printed menus. Supporters believe that consumers will make better food choices if educated about the nutritional content. Restaurant owners complain that public display is unnecessary because the information is readily available if diners ask. In your opinion, should restaurants post nutritional information publicly?

  It is said that while some eat to live, others live to eat. Whatever the case, it is incontrovertible that food is an extremely important part of our lives. Consumed daily on a regular basis, food is an important that shapes our health and lifestyles, thus it is vital that we are fully aware of what nutritional values form our diet. However, most restaurants do not provide their nutritional information publicly, citing it to be unnecessary. They claim it can be just as easily obtained by requesting the information from the restaurant directly, but this is a terrible excuse.
  Research has shown that approximately 1 in 5 individuals are unaware of the basic nutritional content of their diet. However, this is not due to a mere lack of interest, but due to the lack of knowledge on the subject, thus provision of such information is urgent. Opponents often claim that rather than posting the information publicly, this can be solved by giving information to those who ask for it. This would not work however as most consumers are mostly not even aware of the fact that they are entitled to ask for this information. How often does one visit a restaurant and request the nutritional information for a cheeseburger at McDonalds? If instead, a noticeboard containing the information is put up at the restaurant or if the nutritional values are clearly stated alongside the menus, this would then be a better solution as consumers can look at the relevant information they require and make orders that suit their dietary needs.
  Obesity, heart conditions and other health issues can be directly influenced by the type of food one consumes so consumers should be given the best possible choices for choosing foods suitable for their diet. Provision of information on the nutritional values of food can benefit the obese by allowing them to avoid foods with high fat content, or help diabetics avoid sugary foods. This would save the embarrassment of asking for the nutritional value of each single item on the menu, and it will most likely save the servers a lot of time too.
 Just as products in a supermarket provide nutritional information to help consumers choose the most suitable product, the same should be done with restaurants. To ensure individuals can maintain a diet suitable for the dietary requirements restaurants should contribute by providing the nutritional information of their foods publicly, where it is easily accessible. Whether it's for those who eat to live or those who live to eat, foods can have both positive and detrimental effects on our lifestyles and it is vital we are given sufficient information for us to be able to take control.

this is my first ever essay! It took me the whole time to write so I didn’t get to proofread, which is a point i need to work on
:frowning:

thanks everyone!!

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I tried to indent but it all disappeared :frowning: oh dear…

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bumppp

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I’ve just written another one, please please please give me some feedback on either :frowning:

Prompt: Schools in some states have changed their calendars so that they are now year-round schools. Advocates of year-round schooling argue that the traditional summer break is a waste of students time that could otherwise be spent learning. Opponents charge that today’s students are already overburdened with the stresses of school and need the summer to get a much-needed break. In your view, should the traditional three-month summer break from school be maintained?

After a long and rigorous school year, the three month summer vacation is the ultimate freedom all students look forward to. It is a time for students to finally relieve their stress from school and have a break to recharge their energy before the following school year commences. However, those who oppose this summer-break tradition believe it is a complete waste of valuable time that could otherwise be utilized in a classroom, which is extremely unsympathetic and careless.

Our society is already highly grade-oriented: hard work is expected from students in schools from a young age, and there are some that even require students to pass a test in order to be admitted. They have to sit exams regularly and go through the painstaking process of being graded on their efforts.
Students must be given sufficient time away from the pressures of doing well in school, and a summer break would be an excellent opportunity for students to go on holiday family and friends. Interactions between adolescents and their parents tend to decrease as they grow older and reach puberty, so a long break during the summer could be a time to mend and build on their relationships with their parents and peers.

It is important to stress that life should not be based soley upon one’s academic achievements, and students should be encouraged to take part in various other activities such as sports or games for leisure. The summer break will provide an excellent opportunity to pick up new hobbies, away from the pressures of an achievement-based environment. The weather is particularly good during the summer break which would be an excellent time for outdoors sports such as soccer, or cricket. Not only would such activities help relieve stress but it will also help one grow as an individual, through improving their self confidence and social skills.

Opponents may argue that such activities are a waste of time, and that time could be spent learning. This view clearly only exists for the narrow-minded, as learning should not be confined to a classroom environment. Work experience, for example working as an intern during the summer in a lab, volunteering in a care home or even taking up a part time job as a child-minder are all part of a learning experience. Learning is not just related to academics, but also how one can learn about responsibilities, time management, and various other skills that are required in society.

In conclusion, it is vital that three month summer vacations are maintained, as there is a myriad of possibilities for students to utilize that time to grow and mature into happy, healthy and responsible members of society.

thank you!

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Bump:(