Please Grade My Essay #2

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Prompt: Are we free to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society?</p>

<p>"Living so free is a tragedy... / When you can't be what you want to be" - Powerman 5000
Luckily, we can be what we want to be, no matter how much society attempts to hold us back. Despite the limitations society puts on us, we are free to carve our own path by either moving outside society's sphere of influence, dictating the rules ourselves, or flat out breaking the laws of our society.
If we do not like society's rules, we can just move to a reclusive place and do whatever we want. Henry David Thoreau wrote about his experience in solitude on Walden Pond in the book "Walden." He discesses his position on the outside of the societal sphere of influence and meditates on pros and cons of political and social organization. He feels no pressure to do anything but what he wants.
Rather than avoiding society's influence, some people have dicatated the ruiles themselves. For example, Napoleon rose to dictatorship of France through several decious and surreptitious political maneuvers. After rising to power, Napoleon conquered much of europe and achieved hegemony over most of the Eurasian supercontinent. He imposed on his empire a set of laws called the Napoleonic Code and blocked trade with Great Britain. Napoleon truly decided his own path in life.
For those withour the means to become tyrannical dictators, we can simply ignore the laws of society. In The Awakening, Edna Pontellier, a Southern belle living in New Orleans, goes through a series of philosophical and sexual "awakenings." These lead her to ignore the rules of society and pursue an extramarital affair in a society that believes a woman is essentiall an object in her husband's possession. In the end, Edna truly liberates herself from society's grasp by letting the ocean embrace her in her last moments of life.
Everyone can do exactly what Napoleon, Thoreau, and Edna Pontellier did, and truly decide his or her own destiny. We can all break from the clutches of society and make sure our life is not a tragedy.</p>

2

<p>TWELVE.
Bravo</p>

<p>one or two typos but I figure you just typed fast so they didn't stop me, like"essentiall" in the second-to-final paragraph.</p>

<p>What does decious mean? Either you meant deceitful, or you taught me a new word today.</p>

3

<p>12/12 even though your ideas are not very realistic.</p>

4

<p>I typoed "devious" on that one... I mistype my c's and v's, as well as my u's and i's a lot.</p>

<p>I prolly shoulda looked over it before I posted. I didn't actually spell all those words wrong--would be pretty bad misspelling "rules."</p>

<p>It felt like a twelve when I got done, lol.</p>

<p>Thank you very much.</p>

5

<p>w00t. well done.</p>

6

<p>12/12.</p>

<p>Introduction was best part I thought.</p>

7

<p>hey, if anyone's reading this who wants to know how to improve, go back and read lin's threads. Compare this to his last essay (ouch) but you'll see why this one's a 12 and the others weren't.</p>

<p>(Sorry, lin, holding you up for an example like that...but it's a positive example!)</p>

8

<p>Here's what the SAT people say would get a 1-6 score (of course, x2 because they use 2 scorers):
It helps to see what the SAT scorers think is a terrible, okay and great essay. </p>

<p>To see a range of examples, all graded 1-6, see this collegeboard link. Scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the sample essays.</p>

<p>I can't write it out in a line, b/c this site somehow cuts it off, so i'll put it in a column, but you type it out as a line:</p>

<p>collegeboard.com/
student/
testing/
sat/
prep_one/
essay/
pracStart.html</p>