Please grade my essay and offer suggestions

<p>I'm applying to UPenn for philosophy (but planning to maintain an interest in cinema studies/video production), and I think my acceptance will greatly hinge on the supplemental essay. The topic is:</p>

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Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?

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<p>500 word limit.</p>

<p>Would anyone be willing to "chance me" on the basis of my essay and offer input? PM me if you'd like to help.</p>

<p>Anyone? I need to submit by tomorrow, so I’d appreciate some last minute suggestions.</p>

<p>My friend Ana is the most inspiring person in my life, because she was determined to never lose her culture. I was born in America and she was born in Mexico. At times it was really hard for me to understand my friend.Sence i was raised with American values then her, it was really hard for us to understand each other. I was so used to being around American people all my life; I just didn’t want to give my friend Ana a chance at first. One day my friend and i was sitting outside and she began to let me know that she was very upset with me, I asked her why? She began to explain to me that she felt like i was treating her different because she spoke another language, I’ve being too explained to her that was not treating her different because she spoke another language, i just didn’t understand her language. My friend Ana began to let me know that since we were good friend and we both spoke a different language how about we both teach one another or language, i said to Ana that would be a wonderful idea, so then we both began to educate one another on our culture. While we began teaching each other, i began to teach her about our American culture and history. One day my friend Ana came to my
House, she was so happy she was able to speak English. She began to say, let me now work with you on how to speak my lauguage,i reply ok,I’v love to learn to speak your langauge.While we were learning from one another, i began to think to myself, because a person speak different from you, you still need to treat the like a person. As time went on my friend Ana realize that the people that didn’t want to be her friend in the pass began to want to come around her. People started coming around her more, and no one was giving her the cold shoulder anymore, because she was different from the rest of us. Ana was very happy that she was able to speak English, she didn’t feel like a stranger to anyone anymore.Sence my friend sat me down and explained how she was feeling about me, made me realize you could learn a lot from people that speak or act different from you. Everyone was made to speak, look, and act different for a reason. My friend Ana inspired me because through our cultural difference, she never forgot where she came from. She kept her language; my friend Ana was now able to speak two different languages, which open a lot of doors for her. Ana only wanted to learn to speak another language because she didn’t wanted be look down on anymore. I am so happy that my friend and i was able to teach one another how to speak each other language. Ana was now able to go anywhere by herself, because she was now able to understand American people better, and they was able to understand her.</p>

<p>What?.. </p>

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<p>If you send me your essay PM I’ll give it a glance…</p>

<p>While studying at the Illinois Institute of Art I expect to gain knowledge of interior design history. The key to great design is knowing the root of it, learning design history will give me a huge advantage toward my career. Having the knowledge of interior design history is learning about numerous styles and movements.It gives interior designers of today a leg-up on the design evolution.I want to incorporate antique into modern to give design a more profound statement.I look forward to learning about ancient technique and if they are being used in todays design world. </p>

<pre><code> I expect to accomplish valuable technique I such as: how to create lighting in a space,utilizing space,and space planing. I want to learn about lighting because as an interior designer you have to know how to create lighting that is cohesive to the space. In most interior plans there are spaces that are to small for peolpe to do anything with, I want to have knowledge on how to utilize those random spaces in a client’s homes making it as warm and welcoming as the rest of the home. space planing is the most important of them all because laying out a space plan helps the designer to get a better understanding of what to do with a space.

The last thing that I hope to accomplish while studying at the Illinois Institute of Art is to become more creative. I expect to gain improvisation, As an interior desinger you have to know how to think on your feet or in other words improvise.To be able to improvise with techniques is important because a client may not know exactly want they want their space to look like, or they may not know exactly how to explain how they want the space to look. You have to be able to give your client some spontaneous thoughts of what you can provide for the space.Being able to improvise helps designers to be more free spirited and artistic.
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