please grade my essay.......please:)

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1

<p>please please grade my essay</p>

<p>essay prompt:there is an old saying..."there is nothing new under the sun"...what is your opinion of the idea that everything happening today is a repetition of something that occured earlier.</p>

<p>my essay:</p>

<p>there is nothing new under the sun is a pessimistic saying.i don't think this is true in any way.human beings are innovative and are always creating things and coming with logics that was never happened before under the sun.</p>

<p>there is no doubt that we humans are developing everyday.this can be clearly understood if we compare ourselves and our surroundings to that of the 19th century.eveything from our lifestyle to our outlook has changed.the 19th century people could never imagine reading an e-book on computer or the use of wireless phones-cellphones.</p>

<p>our society has changed,women are no longer thought inferior to their male counterparts.they are now allowed to vote which was an unthinkable fact just a few decades back.children and young adults can make their own decisions now in matters of education.they can also live seperately from their parents and are financialy independent by doing per time jobs along with their studies.</p>

<p>certainely there remains things that are still present from the old times as families continue to exist and people still fall in love.but on a sad note there are also issues like war and disease that the innovations and modern outlook of humans have not been able to solve.however we should hope that in time these problems will also be solved.</p>

<p>as we go through our life we will encounter many things that will hange our perspective of thoughts and the way we live.so it will be philistine to go with the saying"there is nothing new under the sun".humans have created wonders unseen to the world before and will also be doing so in future.</p>

<p>is it too big???</p>

2

<p>2/6. 4/12. Numerous grammar problems and critical thinking is weak.</p>

3

<p>6/12 or 3/6</p>

<p>It isn’t that long. If you write 7 words on each of the 52 lines in the space you get to write the essay, you will write 374 words. Your essay looks more like 250 words.</p>

4

<p>Well, yeah, I guess it’s pretty close to a 3 judging by some of the sentence structure. But the simplistic thinking and examples made it a 2.</p>

5

<p>Ridiculous how some people think you demonstrated “weak” critical thinking. Perhaps their attention to your lack of aesthetic formatting clouded their assessment of what you did well.</p>

<p>Firstly, your thesis is sound but could be expressed more strongly. Also, your choice of examples was pleasing and references to contemporary situations gave your essay a persuasive tone. For what you’ve done successfully here, you’d be looking at a 4/6.</p>

<p>However, lack of detail and grammatical errors ultimately undermined your argument, particularly when you analysed things that are “still present from the old times.” This is almost certain to drop you a holistic mark.</p>

<p>Overall, this is a solid 6/12. You’ve got good things to say, you just need to work on saying more and in the right way. Some basic grammatical study would help.</p>

6

<p>5-6/12</p>

<p>The examples are great, but you just need to work on the grammer that you use.</p>

7

<p>can u please point out the mistakes…??the grammatical errors…i need to know where i have to improve</p>

8

<p>2-3/12, sorry</p>

9

<p>mistakes = everything, sorry</p>

10

<p>4/12</p>

<p>Too broad, too elementary, and too erroneous.</p>

11

<p>^ I totally agree</p>

12

<p>5/12
–Honestly, you have great ideas but your manner of EXPRESSING your thoughts and analyzing is not effective and needs work. Your examples were good but you need to elaborate on them and explain WHY your examples prove that everything happening today is a repetition or why everything happening today is not a repetition.
–Read deeper thinking essays and books. Or even NY Times.
–And your essay is SHORT not long.</p>

13

<p>"can u please point out the mistakes…??the grammatical errors…i need to know where i have to improve "</p>

<p>I was going to point out a couple, but your writing level is so that even if you manage to avoid them, you’ll still make plenty others. Are you a rising junior? I think that even without much writing experience, you can still write a 4 or 5 essay just by reading and absorbing the composition of this language. What have you done in high school so far? Wasting time? Avoiding the written word? Or maybe just reading at a very basic level?</p>

<p>It may not be too late… you can start by trying to write properly on the Internet. Leave a space after each punctuation mark. Change the "u"s into "you"s. Capitalize properly. At least it will be less annoying :)</p>

14

<p>PM’d you. 10char</p>

15

<p>thanks everybody.i’ll try to do better next time.i didn’t use punctuations and all as i was in a hurry.i will use them from now on.</p>

16

<p>^Did my comment <em>woosh</em> go right past your head? Leave a space after punctuation, including periods.</p>

17

<p>Hey guys could you please grade my essay on the same topic. THanks!</p>

<p>I 483 word too much?</p>

<p>Every day when the Sun rises in the morning, it brings a fresh new beginning. Records are broken, records are made. Man has stepped on the summit of Everest, then he stepped on Moon and now, James Cameron has conquered the deepest point on earth, the Mariana Trench. Just when it was believed that everything there was to know had been known, Einstein came into the scene with his ground-breaking ‘Theory of Relativity’ that rendered Newtonian physics incorrect.
Everyday new technology, innovations, new scientific laws and discoveries are made. In a little more than a decade, our lives have become totally computerised. Pioneers like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs transformed gargantuan computers used for scientific research to fit onto desks in every household and now, into smartphones that fit into our pockets. Tim Burners Lee revolutionized the way we study, work and entertain ourselves with the world wide web, which has become nothing less than ‘oxygen’ that we need for survival in the twenty first century. Google, Facebook, Amazon, applications on our smart phones have changed the way we learn, connect, share, shop, eat or sleep. In this dynamic tech-age, how can anyone say that there is nothing new under the Sun? Indeed, there is a lot of repition as there are several social networks, forums, e-shopping websites, email websites, etc. but there is a lot of improvisations. Innovation is there too, like the way Steve Jobs exploded the moribund computing industry with mac, tablets, iphones and ipods and became an established visionary.
Yes, I too have had several exciting ideas but almost always I have been discouraged to know that it has already been created, yet I believe I am beggining to think in the right direction. Like Newton quoted, “I can see farther because I stand on the shoulders of giants”, I believe that with time I too will be able to see further and contribute an original idea to the developement of society. Likewise, many great mathematicians have re-discovered many existing theorems, but that repition was not in vain; the logic and approach they developed this way enabled them to make new theorems. Hence, repition is also a step in the genesis of something new.
Nature itself is testimony that there is nothing old under the Sun. Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest” shows that species are continually evolving. From apes evolved humans, who do not resemble to apes anymore. Even amongst humans, differences like skin color and shape of ear lobes are distinct. This example also shows that although we cannot guage our daily progress and everyday seems like the day before, big changes are gradual and happening as we speak.
Indeed earth spins on its axis every day, cycle of season’s continue endlessly, birds migrate to and fro, but I conclude with an ever stronger belief in Mark Twain’s quote, “History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”</p>

<p>THanks for reading, you can contribute more ideas too!</p>