Please grade my essay? REALLY NEED HELP ON IMPROVING.

<p>What are your thoughts on the idea that failure is necessary for education to take place?</p>

<p>Failure is essential for education to take place. Gandhi once wrote, "Victory will help the world learn about you, but losing will help you learn about the world." When a person fails, he ro she is motivated to try again and correct the initial mistake. By doing so, he or she is, in fact, learning. Failure is clearly very important in the learning process.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by the failure of the Articles of Confederation, failure helps people learn. The Founding Fathers were able to learn from their mistakes. The Articles of Confederation was an attempt to create a government for the United States. However, it failed to unite the states. The Articles of Confederation gave the states to much autonomy and prevented Congress from wielding any real power. Congress could not maintain an army or enforce taxes, which are essential to a strong government. Shay's rebellion, an uprising against the tyranny of the states, taught the Founding Fathers a lesson. They realized they had failed. Realizing this, the Founding Fathers met a the Constitutional Convention and hammered out a well balanced government that would prove to be successful. Therefore, failure is necessary for education and improvement.</p>

<p>Through the various government formed during the French, one can see that failure is necessary for education and improvement. The French experienced various forms of government during this static period of time. The Third Estate moved to create a government that promoted equality, but this failed. It then fell into a dictator ship under Maximilian Robespierre. He led a period of unrest known as the Reign of Terror. Eventually the people learned from their mistakes and overthrew and executed Robespierre. They created a new organized government known as the Directory. The people experienced stability under this government after a number of failed attempts. Therefore, failure is necessary for education and improvement to take place.</p>

<p>After careful analysis of the shortcomings of the Founding Fathers and French revolutionaries, it is obvious that failure is necessary for one to learn and improve. If the Found Fathers and revolutionaries did not fail, they would not have been a able to create a functioning government and enjoy instability. Failure is, indeed, essential for education to take place.</p>

<p>Overall its pretty good, but it can do with some SAT words incorporated and maybe different examples (maybe one from literature?)
I would give you a 9/12</p>