Please grade my Essay

<p>Hi, I have my SATs on the 26th of this month. I have just a few days left and I wanted to the know the current condition of my essay writing skills. (Thanks in advance.) So here it goes:</p>

<p>Many people admire leaders who have effectively achieved their goals. But too many leaders are dedicated to achieving their goals at the expense of caring for the people who follow and support them. Leaders should be judged on how well they treat people, not on the achievement of their goals.</p>

<p>Assignment:
Should leaders be judged according to how well they treat people? </p>

<p>A leader is one who is not only good in achieving certain objectives, but also a good human being. Kindness, deference, conscience and humility are some of the essential qualities of a true leader. Therefore, how “well” a leader treats others can be used as a criterion to judge him/her. This thesis can be exemplified by many fictional and even non-fictional/real-life figures.</p>

<p>In Shakespeare’s tale, Macbeth, the protagonist (also known as Macbeth), along with his friend Banquo, meets two witches who claim that Macbeth would be titled the new Thane of Cawdor and later, the king. They also added, the throne would be descended by Banquo’s sons and grandchildren, not Macbeth’s. Macbeth didn’t believe them until two messengers came and let him know that king Duncan had awarded Macbeth as the new Thane of Cawdor for the successful battles. Macbeth started to have a feeling that the witches were right and he sent a letter to his wife, Lady Macbeth, telling about it. Lady Macbeth had a lust for power intrigued Macbeth into killing King Duncan. Macbeth hesitated a lot to kill him, but his wife forced him to do it. So when the king was sleeping, Macbeth killed him and put the dagger on a sleeping guard's hand so that the blame would be upon him. After Duncan was killed, his sons fled the country and Macbeth was coronated as the new king. Afterwards, he killed Banquo so that Banquo’s sons do not take up the throne, as the witches had predicted. Later, Duncan’s son Malcom, and the general Macduff head to Macbeth’s territory to fight him. Unrest started to develop between Macbeth’s men and Macbeth was losing everyone's trust. Now, even his own men went against him. Macbeth was defeated and killed by Macduff and Malcom became the new king.</p>

<p>On the contrary, Mahatma Gandhi, a real-world person, provides a different example. He can rather be considered an epitome of kindness, and all other qualities a hero should possess. Gandhi was the son of a rich family. But seeing all the poor people of his homeland, India, he gave up all the luxuries of life to empathize with them. He led an ascetic life and always wore a white piece of cloth which he made by himself. And the reason was, he told “Why will I wear good clothes, live in an expensive house, when all my brothers and sisters are so sad and poor?” Gandhi eventually became an important political figure and led many non-violent movements such as the famous Salt March against the unruly colonial rulers. His kindness, conscience and intelligence eventually won the hearts of people from all corners of India. He played an important role in the independence of India and is called the Father of the Nation.</p>

<p>Indeed, from the above analysis about the outlook of the two leaders, we can conclude that a leader like Gandhi is the preferred one. Macbeth mistreated and killed many people for his own selfish yearnings, whereas Gandhi killed his own desires for the good of his people.</p>

<p>I would give around a 9 out of 12.
You should add a sentence or two of commentary to the Macbeth example like “Although at first the people of Scotland accepted him as the new king, Macbeth’s cruelty led to their opposition” or something along these lines! I feel like all I’m getting is a plot summary without that.</p>

<p>Thanks! You’re right about adding the commentary :)</p>