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Assignment: Can people who are not famous be better role models than people who are famous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

“All people are ordinary but we make people extraordinary” said Gerrard Way. Ernest Hemingway’s “the old man and the sea” and Rosa Parks are essential examples. People think that ones who are not famous can be role models, but I believe that famous people are the role models.
Rosa Parks, for instance, the famous black woman is vital example to show how famous people are the role models. Rosa Parks was the only black citizen to stand upon segregation. She was asked to stand up for the white man but she refused because she said that she had enough of this humiliation. If she didn’t stand up for what happened and didn’t get jailed, I believe no other one would’ve stood up for the segregation. Not only famous people can be role models in real life, but role models can also be in literature.
Ernest Hemingway’s “the old man and the sea” also shows how famous people can be role models. The old man who went fishing for a really long time and fought with the sharks for two days is a very important example. It is very important for everyone to believe in themselves. The old man struggled and kept on struggling and when he caught a fish, the shark ate it. Ernest Hemingway’s “the old man and the sea” shows how people shouldn’t give up easily.
Famous people are the role models because without Rosa Parks and Santiago, the old man in Ernest Hemingway’s “the old man and the sea”, people would give up easily unlike Santiago, and the black people wouldn’t get their rights like Rosa Parks. This is why I believe famous people are the role models.

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First of all, I’m not sure how your first sentence ties back to the topic. If you choose to use a quote like that, you should explain the next sentence or two how the quote relates to the prompt.

You have a couple of grammar/mechanics errors and your examples don’t really support your argument as both of the people you cited were ordinary people. We only know of them today because of what they did so instead you should be arguing that ordinary people can still do great things. Additionally, what you are saying in your supporting paragraphs is very general. You need to be specific and explain your choice and its relation to the prompt.

For example, take Rosa Parks. I would personally use her example to argue the other side of the prompt. But regardless, you shouldn’t refer to her as “the famous black woman”. Perhaps, use “a well-known advocate of the human rights movement”. Then, you should go on to talk, in specifics, about what she did to support her beliefs in equality for African Americans (defied the law, refused to give up her seat, was jailed, etc.).

In your conclusion you also mentions “Santiago”. You didn’t discuss this person anywhere else in your essay so it really shouldn’t be there.