PLEASE grade my sat essay!!urgent!!

<p>Prompt: Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>Throughout human society exist heroes in different forms. Heroes are often portrayed by the media as those who exercise great physical prowess and achieve amazing feats of strength. However, contrary to this common misconception, heroes should be defined as people who speak out when the rest of society lacks the courage to do so.</p>

<p>During the Civil Rights Movement in the mid 20th century, blacks throughout the country were discriminated against. Many politicians and powerful people in society preached for discrimination. Although many blacks and non-blacks alike were opposed to racial discrimination, they did not speak out. Rosa Parks, a black woman, however, spoke out using her actions by refusing to give up her seat to a white person. In doing this, Parks became an icon of the Civil Rights Movement through her use of civil disobedience. Rosa Parks did not brave any physical danger or exercise physical prowess, but she is still seen as an American hero because she spoke out when no one else had the courage to do so. Therefore, the example of Rosa Parks demonstrates that heroes are those who are brave enough to speak out.</p>

<p>Also during the 20th century, Amelia Earhart was one of the first women to fly. In her attempt to fly around the world, she was sadly lost, never to be found again. Yet, Earhart is seen by Americans as a hero who championed women's rights. During Earhart's life, women had few rights. While many males and females supported women's rights, many failed to speak out for those rights. Earhart, on the other hand, spoke out by announcing her ambitious goal that no man or woman had dared to attempt. Although Earhart ultimately failed in her mission, she was remembered as a hero for speaking out in support women's rights, not for her death due to physical danger. Hence, society has shown that heroes are defined and remembered not for the physical danger they faced, but for their courage to speak out in support of causes that others feared to speak out in support of. </p>

<p>One last example of a hero who spoke out is Abraham Lincoln. Like Earhart, Lincoln was overcome by his physical dangers and died. Although Lincoln died, he is remembered as a paragon of heroism because he spoke out against slavery, which was entrenched in American culture. Many northerners and southerners feared to oppose slavery for fear of retribution. Lincoln, however, spoke out when everyone else was too scared to. As a result, he was assassinated. Lincoln's example shows that heroes often are overcome by physical danger. But, society defines them by their ability to speak out when others lack the courage to do so.</p>

<p>Lincoln, Earhart, and Parks will always be remembered by Americans as heroes who braved the great odds against them. None of them accomplished great physical feats, but they are still remembered because they spoke out for causes that the reset of society did not speak for.</p>

<p>please grade honestly thanks!</p>

<p>Sorry but please grade my essay, i am taking the sat in march and i would really appreciate any help</p>

<p>it will only take a minute! thanks</p>

<p>Delete the “However” in the second sentence, but other than that it’s a great essay. I would give it a 10 based on the fact that my essay for the SAT was of a similar level and it got a 10. Try also to use the example of Malala Yousufzai (look her up if you don’t know her). She is current and not only would she work for this prompt, but you can adapt her example to several other prompts. Also, try using a quote/proverb in the intro and conclusion. That significantly boosts your reader’s perception of how well a writer you are and I think that was the difference between an 8 and a 10 in my SAT essay.</p>

<p>Thanks for the feedback… do you think it is bad to not have a variety of examples? (like my examples are all people…so does that affect my score?)</p>

<p>No, not at all. As long as your examples are well supported and your essay is well-written, it doesn’t matter if all your examples are people or are all books.</p>

<p>Any other suggestions from some other people?</p>

<ol>
<li>Avoid passive voice and make more connections/ transitions.</li>
</ol>