<p>Hey guys, could you grade two essays I wrote. I wrote them under time constraints like I would face on the SAT, so I know they are very rough. I am wondering about what score they would get. </p>
<p>1) Is the world changing for the better?</p>
<p>Although some may argue that the increasing intellectual development and power of mankind over time has brought unnecessary complexity and consequently negative impacts on society, generally the constant growth and change of our world is for the better. A look at the history of our world makes the positive effects of change over time clear. </p>
<pre><code>The first humans were nomads. They traveled together in small groups, hunting and foraging for food. However, life was extremely tough for them, as they had to constantly travel to survive, and if food could not be found they were done for. The innovation of agriculture, irrigation, and domesticated breeding enabled people to stay in one spot and form societies and civilizations. This stability enabled many things. For the first time, while some people farmed, others could devote their time to things other than food, such as forging metal, developing innovations, and looking for new resources. The standard of life thus increased. Eventually, these different stable societies realized the presence of each other and began to trade. This opened up new economic possibilities and allowed societies access to new materials, pools of resources and labor. Culture and innovations diffused through trade as well. Soon, lands like China and India were trading with Europe through the silk routes and the Sand Routes; globalization was clearly occurring through the changes in our world. This process of globalization has constantly continued over time, and today we trade and compete against everyone else in the world. The process of globalization maximizes the economic growth and standard of life throughout the world, and thus is a significantly positive result of the change in societies over time.
Another positive impact of development over time is the growth of human intellect and innovation. As people have become smarter, they have developed better and better ways for living life. The average life span of the first humans was around 23 years. However, as man developed the science of medicine and surgery, and learned what foods were essential to nutrition, the quality of life and the life span increased. In 800 AD, Al-Ruhawi compiled the first comprehensive medical encyclopaedia. In the 19th century, Pasteur discovered that there are living pathogens in the air that contaminate food. In the 20th century, Fleming discovered the antiobitic penicillin and Salk found the polio vaccine. Today, people live, on average, more than 60 years, thanks to better nutrition and advancements in medical science. Although some argue that these innovations in medicine have led to a longer lives and population increase that our world won’t be able to keep up with, the fact is that many great things in the world couldn’t have happened if everyone only lived to their thirties. The innovations in medicine are just one of the many types of innovations that have significantly bettered mankind.
There is no doubt, that despite some negligible drawbacks, the change in the world is indeed generally for the better. Globalization and innovation are only two of the beneficial outcomes of a constantly developing society. After all, what fun would it be living in a world that never changed and could never change? There would be no history and no science, and basically no incentive to live.
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<p>2) Is identity innate or gained through experience?</p>
<p>Just like other elements of personality, identity is something that people create for themselves as they progress through life. No one is born with their permanent identity engrained in them. One’s identity is formed through his experiences and his consequent actions. Several examples in literature and history help to explain how identity develops over time. </p>
<pre><code>When he was a young man, Mahatma Gandhi was actually a lawyer. He learned English with other British students and even dressed like an Englishman. At this time, one formative experience changed his life and helped to form his identity as he knew it today. While traveling in South Africa, Gandhi was forced to exit his first-class compartment on a train because he was not white, even though he had a first-class ticket. Gandhi refused, and was thrown off the train. At this time, Gandhi realized that he was not an Englishman and could never be one; he abandoned his career as a lawyer and decided to return to his homeland and fight for India’s independence from Britain. He adopted the principles of satya and ahimsa (truth and nonviolence) from his religion and things he read. He lived by these principles for the rest of his life, and used them to help India receive its freedom from the British raj. These principles, as well as his love for his country, thus became engrained in his identity, and today he is known as a champion of these values. Gandhi was not born with this identity; he formed it through his lifetime from his experiences and his actions.
Similarly, in the novel Kim, by Rudyard Kipling, Kimball O’Hara struggles to find his identity because he is white yet native to India. Kim travels across India with a Buddhist monk and develops a profound appreciation for the land of India. He travels through the Great Yellow Road, seeing all of the diverse castes and peoples. Later, he is taken and trained by the British Army, but soon realizes his feelings for his native country, and thus decides to serve as an intelligence agent in India. In the end of the novel, he realizes to himself he is an Indian, not a Brit. Therefore, although Kim may have been born a white man, his experiences caused him to gain an Indian identity. Clearly, his identity changed and formed through his experiences.
By studying Mahatma Gandhi and the character Kimball O’ Hara in Rudyard Kipling’s novel Kim, there is no doubt that identity is something that each individual creates for his or herself. After all, if people were all born with preset identities, what would be the purpose of life’s experiences? If is our life which determines our identity, not the other way around.
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