Please Grade my SAT Essay - No. 3

<p>Please grade my SAT essay. As you can see from the title of this thread, I've already posted 2 essays, and from now on I plan to number the titles of my essays consecutively as I post them.</p>

<p>Any advice or feedback on my essay, will be very much appreciated. :)</p>

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<p>Assignment: Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better?</p>

<p>Technology has changed our lives in an infinite number of ways. It promises to make our lives easier, and in this respect, it has mostly succeeded. However, ease of living does not equate to happiness. Changes that make our lives easier do not necessarily make them better, as exemplified through the longer working hours and global warming that we experience today.</p>

<p>With the proliferation of fast new technologies like laptops and smartphones, technological change has increased the pace of life. However it has not made our lives better. Despite technological advances that have allowed us to increase our productivity and work more efficiently, research has proven that we are now in fact working longer hours than we have before. A report issued by the Institute of Leadership and Management in the UK, based on a survey of 1300 managers, concluded that the majority of UK bosses are working longer hours, have higher workloads and are more stressed, compared to ten years ago. Similar results have been found through studies done in the US, Europe, and the Asia-Pacific. This evidence demonstrates that changes that make our lives easier do not automatically equate to an increase in the quality of our lives.</p>

<p>Similarly, the invention of the motor car has also increased the pace of life. The car has significantly aided ease of transportation, and most of us would not be able to live without the convenience of a car. However some people argue that the invention of the motor car has been a curse on humanity. These claims are not unfounded, as each year, an estimated 1.2 million people are killed in road crashes worldwide, and as many as 50 million are injured. In addition, emissions from cars are a major contributor to global warming. In fact, transportation produces thirty percent of total global warming emissions in the US. Although it may have made our lives easier, the car undeniably has not made our lives better.</p>

<h2>In conclusion, I believe changes that make our lives easier do not necessarily make them better. Technologies that bring short-term comforts, often have unforeseen long-term disadvantages that outweigh their benefits. Through the examples of longer working hours and the invention of the motor car, it can be discovered that comfort does not equate to happiness.</h2>

<p>Thanks for reading! :)</p>

<p>Can someone please score my essay, or give me some feedback? Any help at all will be very much appreciated.</p>

<p>You haven’t told me how these technological advances have diminished the quality of our lives.</p>

<p>What, for example, is so bad about working more hours?</p>

<p>This essay is very heavy on fact and quite light on analysis.</p>

<p>From a technical standpoint, you write well. You make an attempt at answering the question. For those reasons alone, this is a four (out of six).</p>

<p>Thanks for the feedback jkjeremy and bllsmth. :)</p>

<p>So in order to improve this essay, I should try to relate my examples more to the thesis, and analyse more how our quality of life has not been improved?</p>