Please grade my SAT essay

<p>Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?</p>

<p>I do believe that people should take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general. The majority of the world lives in a democracy. Democracy is the fundamental belief that the people decide who will run their country. Therefore, by getting involved with local affairs in your community you are indirectly telling the government the issues that you care about and this in turn will help the government work towards fulfilling our needs. With the recent events that took place in Ferguson, the community of that town rose up and attracted attention towards the shooting of Michael Brown and the racist tendencies of the police force. This led to the event attracting media attention and helped the federal government realise major flaws in the police force. Therefore, people working together as a community helped not only the community itself but also reminded the rest of the nation just how important it is for the United States of America to overcome the problem of racism, especially towards African American members of society.</p>

<p>In the UK, David Cameron's ‘Big Society’ initiative is based around the policy of working together as a community. Under this initiative, the government devolves power to the local government. This gives the people of different communities control over rules and regulations and helps them build a society that is best suited to their needs. By reducing the power that lies with the central government and devolving it to local communities, the nation is able to operate at a much smoother pace. The government is a small fraction of society and hence finds it difficult to make sure that everyone in the country is satisfied. By devolving power, you are bringing power closer to the citizens and this helps their voice to be heard which will eventually lead to a more content population who does not feel neglected by their government. This initiative has also created more jobs and improved the education standard as ‘free schools’ have been set up by local communities which are being run by parents. It also ensures that every child is supplied with an education. Currently, these free schools make up 1% of the UK's schools. The more number of people have access to a decent education; the more they are likely to help build a better society when they grow up. Education is the key to a prosperous country and hence, I believe that people should take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their local community.</p>

<p>My school takes part in an annual carnival that is help in the local park in aid for a charity set up to provide fun activities for children with cancer. The local community around my school set up this charity to remember a girl who passed away due to cancer a couple of years ago. Each year, this charity is able to make a difference to someone else’s life. The team work shown by the community to organise this carnival is allowing a charity to flourish and achieve its goals and this is having a positive impact on society. </p>

<p>Communities that work together are able to flourish and have a positive impact on the rest of the world. This is why I believe that people should be take part within their local community.</p>

<p>ok … first of all … ur intro isn’t clearly stating ur thesis and is needlessly tall … second of all the question isn’t whether people should be involved in communities … it is about whether they should be involved in communities or nation in general … however ur 1st example is nice so i would go lenient with u and give u a 6 </p>