please help grade my essay and provide any honest opinion.

<p>Prompt: Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?</p>

<pre><code> Choices are the keys to the unknown doors of future. People who make choices select which door to open. The futures behind these doors are the consequences of either a cogitated decision or a rash one.

In the great novel "The Alchemist" composed by 'Paulo Coelho', Santiago took many decisions which in the end led him to his goal, a treasure buried in the Pyramids of Giza. He chose to continue rather than to give up after his theft incident, to pursue his journey with the alchemist rather than to stay in the oasis and and to speak the truth rather than to perish either from thirst or from torture.

Another examples of wise-taking decision are Walt Disney and Amelia Earhart. Walt Disney worked , as a first career, a journalist and was accused by the lack of imagination. Instead of ceding and admitting for another newspaper, Walt Disney decided to start his own company and became one of the greatest, if not the greatest, imaginative, fairy tale film producer in the world.

As for Amelia, she also did not yield to the fact that she was ignored for being a woman aviator. Being callow and inexperienced, so the crowd thought, Amelia decided to become one of the great icons for the female race to patronize by flying solo across the Atlantic Ocean.

In conclusion, the path or the resolution one takes is not arbitrary. Every person is responsible for his decisions. People's lives depend on the polarity of their decrees.
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<p>Score: 7
Good examples, but you need to elaborate on them. Give more details and use more vocab. Prolong your intro and conclusion and you’re set. In the second paragraph, It’s another example not examples since you are talking about Amelia Earhart in the next paragraph. Good luck. You can still achieve a high essay score. :-bd </p>

<p>thank you very much . Do you now a famous novel that i can include in my essays? :)>- </p>

<p>Definitely elaborate more. Also, at the end of each body paragraph, restate the evidence and why it supports your opinion. “As you can see, _______ supports my opinion, because ______________.” or whatever variation you want to do.
Something you might do is go to SparkNotes and look at the themes for some famous novels. Memorize the themes and the general story. If you forget the character names or even the name of the book, it shouldn’t be a huge deal. As long as your evidence supports your position, accuracy shouldn’t matter. You can also use personal experience, so keep that in mind. If you do use personal experience, don’t make it terribly dull for the graders. Capture their attention. Memorize some good quotes that can apply to a lot of things, such as Thomas Edison’s “I have not failed 10,000 times, I have simply found 10,000 ways that do not work.” or whatever it was.
Good luck!</p>

<p>thanks a lot for your valuable notes and i will keep on posting more practice essays which i would like you javacoco and hawkace to grade, thank you again. :slight_smile: </p>