Please help me if this is a valid appeal letter

Paying for College
1

During my academic year of 2016-2017 at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania, I have failed to reach the proper requirements in order to continue to receive proper financial aid. I have received a letter stating that I will not be receiving the Title IV rewards for this upcoming fall semester. I am making an appeal to said decisions on the grounds that I was going through an unbearable amount of family problems. I started the spring semester already on academic probation due to the fact that I was worried about my family back home.

At the beginning of my first semester at Kutztown University my mother was unemployed, and my family was on the verge of being evicted from their home. With that constantly being on my mind I was never fully dedicated to school. While being worried about the eviction of my family, my brother was incarnated. The incarnation of my brother took a huge toll on me, and my family making it hard for me to focus on my academics. At the end of the first semester I passed 2/4 of my classes. With this knowledge I was determined to make a change, and come back and improve myself, and become the great student that I know I could be.

I spoke with my advisor, *******, at the time; he helped me create a schedule that was going to assure that I get off of academic probation. As the semester began I was doing what was needed to remain in good academic standing. Going to class, going to office hours, studying as hard as I could, working with people within my class to help me if I needed it. Overall trying to better myself. On March 09, 2017 I received news that my grandmother had passed. The death of my grandmother completely devastated me, and broke me down. I was lost. I was hurt. My grandmother raised my brother and me while my mother worked because she was a single mom. I spoke to her everyday, and she assisted me in whatsoever I needed assistance. She had gone to Africa to visit our family there, and was struck with an illness that the doctors could not treat. I was in an awful state. At the time it seemed like nothing was going to work out for me, and things were just getting harder and harder as I tried to better them. The death of my grandmother affected my entire family in a way that I did not know it would. We were all broken. Because of that I spent as much time with my family as possible, and just completely put my focus on them abandoning my academics, which was completely not right of me. It took me a while to accept that my grandmother was gone and that I will never talk to her again. While trying to process this my family and I, received news that my stepfather had also passed April 13, 2017. A man that helped my mom raise me and my brother like his own. Constantly checking on our well being, and making sure that no matter what happens we were going to be okay. With all that was going on I completely strayed away from my academic responsibilities

.

After this past year of hardship my family and I are finally in a good place. My mom has gotten back on her feet and is employed diminishing my worries about them. I have accepted the deaths of both my grandmother and my stepfather. It is completely devastating to me that all this happened during my first year of college causing me to not show Kutztown University my full potential. I am disappointed in myself for not being the great student that I was once and know that with the proper help I will be.

With my family being taken care of, and on good path I am completely committed to my school and bettering my education. My plan is to try to retake the classes that I have received an F in, and meets with tutors and graduate assistants in order to make sure that I completely understand what is going on within all my classes. With the help of my advisor, Thomas Stewart, I have decided to work towards majoring in criminal justice. Knowing what major I am considering is a big step in bettering my education, and working towards a successful career at Kutztown University. I have surrounded myself in an apartment with girls that can help me in bettering my academic career and becoming the best student that I can be. With the help of CASA and my advisor I will work hard to reach my full academic potential. I will work with CASA so that I can get a counselor to help me with my problems and anything that may be bother me that is completely out of my control as I did in high school. I refuse to allow my family’s hardship to cause me to not get higher-level education

Attached are the death certificates for both my grandmother and my stepfather
And a paystub to show proofs of my mother’s employment

2

The first thing you need to do is change “incarnated” to incarcerated! Your letter is too long and wordy, with punctuation and grammar issues.

You might want to search the forum for similar questions about appeal letters. The good advice is there.

3

I agree, your appeal is way too wordy and your brother was probably incarcerated, not incarnated. Way more information in this letter than you need, you lost my interest after the first paragraph.

4

It sounds as though you’ve been through a lot, and for that you have my sympathies.

But take a step back and consider the point behind your letter.

It’s not to gain sympathy. It’s to convince a stranger (who has a whole stack of similar letters on his desk to read after yours) that the problems that kept you from achieving at the desired level won’t be a problem any more.

Period.

So, yes, cut that letter!! And check grammar and spelling and syntax.

But mostly, stick to the objective. BRIEFLY state what the issues were and then explain exactly what you’ll do to avoid repeating the same behavior.

5

This should be the whole letter^^.
Then add that you were unaware how bereavement of a loved one impacted your semester. You then add your tentative counseling schedule and your tutoring schedule. Should be less than two paragraphs and will minimize your spelling and grammatical errors.

So, the school is aware that you were aware that you didn’t meet the requirements and:

The first question they will ask is: why didn’t this student take a personal leave of absence? Why didn’t this student seek university help or tell her adviser what was going on? Did she tell and ask professors for time off? They will check.

I am still trying to understand grief; it is still difficult for me to compensate for the loss of my father. I understand that there are significant periods of disbelief and time stops. However, someone in the counseling community knows this and can act on your behalf by calling or emailing on your behalf. If you didn’t let anyone know what was going on, no one could intervene. That will be the difference.

The financial aid committee will have a stack of appeals to consider. The difference is if the student discusses/ed the problems with anyone prior to the current urgency. There needs to be a documented history of contact.

I think they will let you return to the university, but it will be on your own dime. They gave you a heads-up with the academic probation notice; this should have been taken very seriously and should have really made you aware that you were at risk to lose your financial aid and college education. It would have taken one phone call/email to your adviser about the loss of your grandmother.