Please Rate my Essay!

<p>Hi,</p>

<p>I'm a student currently doing 11th grade in India. Here's A SAT essay I've written (within the given time limit). Please Rate the essay (based on College Board's scoring pattern). Please do mention the pros and cons of the essay, so that I can improve the next time I write the essay. Thanks in advance. :)</p>

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>"Something flawed is far more interesting than something perfect. Perfection is a trifle dull. It is not the least of life’s ironies that this, which we all aim at, is better not quite achieved." Adapted from W. Somerset Maugham, The Summing Up.</p>

<p>Assignment:
Is perfection something to be admired or sought after? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>My Response:</p>

<p>The famous Murphy law states that, "What can go wrong, will go wrong." Even the best laid plans are at the mercy of the unknown. This has been exemplified throughout literature and technology. </p>

<p>One compelling illustration that, even the best laid plans are at the mercy of the unknown is mentioned the book "Dr. Jekyll And Mr Hyde" by Nathaniel Hawthrone. In this book, Dr. Jekyll is a well-known doctor who is attempting something which no one has ever tried. He conducted several experiments to remove the evil side from a person, so that, only the good in him remains. However, he ends up performing this experiment on himself so as to separate his good and evil side. Finally, the experiment bears drastic results even though it was perfectly conducted and his evil side overpowers the good. </p>

<p>Another example which shows that even the best laid plans to achieve perfection can go awry is exemplified through the Challenger mission by NASA. In the 1980s, The Space shuttle mission was at its zenith of achievements. A lot of improvements had taken place in the field of aerospace engineering and a disaster was least expected by the acute minds at NASA. One such Space mission was the Challenger mission. The Challenger had successfully performed its mission at The International Space Station and was seeking re-entry to the earth. While performing the maneuveres required for re-entry, a small piece of foam from the spacecraft snapped off and made a small hole in the wing of spacecraft. This was not reckoned upon by the astronauts, who were planning to return home after a successful mission. When they tried to re - enter the earth's gravitational field , a large amount of heat was produced. The sensors malfunctioned and the astronauts lost control with the ground staff as well as the wings of the aircraft. They were cruising at the speed of Mach 18 without any control of the aircraft. Finally the spacecraft, as a whole began to melt and crumbled to a fiery fire ball and all the astronauts aboard had died. </p>

<p>As shown in these examples of literature and technology , "Even the best laid plans are at the mercy of the unknown."
As Newton once said, " Perfection is an unachieveable state and even science is subjected to the mercy of God."</p>