I am aiming for a 12 on the SAT Essay. I have been doing practice essays with a 25-minute time limit. Can you please critique my essay and tell me what I need to change/improve to get a 12? Thanks.
The prompt: “Is it more important to do work that one finds fulfilling or work that pays well?”
My essay:
A pivotal moment in a young person’s existence occurs when he or she confronts the harsh reality of life: money does not grow on threes. A living must be earned, and a career, or at the very least a job, must be undertaken. But which job shall it be, and involving what kind of work? Perhaps something from the exciting and fulfilling category, like oceanography; or maybe a career from the list of highly-paid jobs: investment banker or corporate lawyer, perhaps. So how is one to choose? If a person has to choose between work that is fulfilling, and work that pays well, they should choose the former in almost every situation.
"Do what you love and the money will follow."This is a piece of wisdom that has been imparted to me by my father, and every day I see how accurate this sentiment is. I recently heard a motivational talk given by Oprah Winfrey, the extremely successful, and well-paid, talk show host, in which she declared the exact same principle had been the key to all of her success. Warren Buffett, one of the three richest people in the world, with a net worth of over $50 billion, continues to do the exact same work he has for over fifty years. He’s over 80 years old now, and still working managing Berkshire Hathaway’s investments. The reason is simple: he loves analyzing financial statements and assessing the value of companies. If he could do it for free, he would. He is doing what he loves, and the enormous sum of money he has earned is a side-effect, not the goal.
Clearly, the ideal situation would be to be engaged in fulfilling work and simultaneously be well-paid, and if you do what you love there is a very good chance you will be well-compensated for it eventually. But what if you don’t end up making scads of money? You are still better off following your passion. Money is a means to an end. We use it to buy objects or experiences we hope will make us happy. And yet, by doing fulfilling work we can cut out the middle man, so to speak. We can get to our goal of happiness risk-free, today, rather than take on work that doesn’t satisfy us for the pure hope that we will one day earn enough to buy the happiness we already could have had.
Happiness is too important to gamble with. We should do what fulfills us, rather than what earns us more money, money that may of may not ever be truly satisfying. And if we’re fortunate enough, we may just end up with both.