Please Read my common app essay, i think its bad

College Essays
1

<p>So I wrote my common application essay and I'm reading this book on other peoples essays and mine does not have the same style at all. </p>

<p>I think it reads as more of a story than a personal statement. I'd love it if someone could read it and give me some advice!</p>

2

<p>What do you mean not the same style? A lot of the times it is better to concentrate on one event rather than a "summary" of things. I will read it.</p>

3

<p>ill give it a look if u want to</p>

4

<p>I'd like to read it.</p>

5

<p>Pfft, yours is bad? I made 3 different prototypes, they all suck. It's like the main message doesn't appear till the concluding paragraph -.-</p>

<p>But sure, I'll read yours.</p>

6

<p>i'd like to read it :)</p>

7

<p>I'll take a look at it!</p>

8

<p>Thanks for all the advice guys, do any of you want to reread my revised edition?
And btw, I'm aware of the grammatical errors. Right now I'm just focusing on getting the story and ideas down. Then I'll start worrying about fragments and whatnot.</p>

9

<p>Can I see?</p>

10

<p>it would be great if you could show me</p>