Please score my essay! I'm taking SAT this weekend!

<p>A mistakenly cynical view of human behaviour holds that people are primarily driven by selfish motives: the desire for wealth, for power, or for fame. Yet history gives us many examples of individuals who have sacrificed their own welfare for a cause or a priniciple that they regarded as more important than their own lives. Consicence-that powerful inner voice that tells us what is right and what is wrong-can be a more compelling force than money, power, or fame.</p>

<p>Assignment: Is consicence a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Even though it should be the other way round, I am of the view that money, fame, or power is often a stronger motivator than consicence. In today's fast paced and competitive world, greed is omnipresent. Everyone wants to be the best in their field, enjoy a luxurious lifestyle, and hold a post of authority. If that requires for them to ignore their "inner voice", well, so be it. Humankind's deeds are most often governed by their lust for these three "vices", and this fact can be seen by the examples of the Second World War, Paris Hilton's extravagant lifestyle, and by the recent bankruptcy of a multimillion dollar company.
In the Second World War, Hitler was motivated in his actions by the lust of world domination and supremacy of his religion. He ignored his consicence, and carried out many atrocities towards the Jews. He was greedy for power and this resulted in immense horror, from which people suffer even to this date.
In a less dramatic example, we all know who Paris Hilton is. Like it or not, we hear about her latest antics every few days. She is definately not the ideal role model, and any parent would be horrified if their daughter looked upto Hilton for inspiration. It seems that her actions are solely guided by the desire to be famous. She is famous for being rich, and controversies seem to surround her all the time. Her conscience has not come in the way of her partying, drinking and drug habits. Yet again, we see that a person's actions are not motivated by their conscience.
In another example, the recent fraud carried out by the Director of a well known multimillion dollar company was purely motivated by money. The director had secretly been siphoning money from the accounts of the company's clients into his own. He had been enjoying a luxurious lifestyle, courtsey of anothers hard earned money. His conscience took a back seat, as the greed for money motivated his actions.
Even though it is morally incorrect for our actions to be motivated by fame, power, or money, it is often seen to be the case. People ignore their conscience and make the incorrect choices. Their choices do help them satisfy their greed for some time, but unfortunately, this period is limited. Whereas, if we were to make our descisions based on what is right and what is wrong, we would benefit from it in the long run.</p>

<p>Please grade my essay.. any honest opinion is welcome.. feel free to critisize, or praise! lol
Thanks!</p>