<p>Assignment : Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?</p>
<p>Essay :</p>
<p>Contrary to the beliefs of most people, Conscience has always led humans. For example, Spartacus who was killed by Rome to launch a series of rebellions against slavery. Also, Mari Curie who exposed herself to hazardous experiments to develop Science. And, Galilee who revolutionized Science and who was decapitated for his discoveries and theories.</p>
<p>Spartacus, a Thracian gladiator, launched a rebellion against slavery in Ancient Rome, even though he knew that he will be crucified. He died for freedom and neglected all the gold he was gaining as a gladiator and all his fame as the "Bringer of Rain".</p>
<p>Also, there is the example of Marie Curie, who was a female physicist born in Poland, and who discovered Nuclear Radiations. She died due to her frequent exposures to radiations and sacrificed herself for Science.</p>
<p>Finally, there is the example of Galilee, who discovered that Earth is spherical and that it is orbiting around the sun. The Roman Catholic Church asked him to dismiss his theory and threatened to decapitate him. He bravely chose to be killed for Science.</p>
<p>Many examples from History have proven that wealth, fame and power are not the only motivators for men and that conscience could be the most powerful one.</p>
<p>PS : I know it's short and not really good but I do want someone to grade it for me.</p>
<p>This is probably a 6-8 essay. You could’ve done some really great work with your examples if you elaborated and reached into the double digits, but your examples were just two short. Two sentences is not equivalent to a strong body paragraph. You just need to write more and be more clear about how their conscience guided them.</p>
<p>Thanks for your interest.
I still have a problem of time management and that’s what compelled me to write this short essay, I spent too much time brainstorming. I could have written a much better essay if I just had 5 or 6 minutes more. I guess I should work on being faster.</p>
<p>Galileo (not Galilee) was not decapitated. Marie Curie was unaware of the dangers of radiation. Spartacus comes closes to helping you with the prompt although in all honesty I doubt he had a goal of ending slavery- he was more interested in his own freedom. </p>
<p>You were supposed to prove that “conscience [is] a more powerful motivator”. You cant get to the conclusion and wimp out by saying conscience “could be” the most powerful. </p>
<p>There are a number of examples of successful essays at the CB site. Start with them so you can see the type of arguments they are looking for.</p>
<p>I know they arent fact checking. But getting the name of your example wrong and stating obviously incorrect facts is going to form an impression.</p>
<p>Yes, I did made some mistakes because I really had to deal with facts that I forgot. Maybe I should work more on my examples.
And I wrote “Galilee” because it’s his French name (I forgot his English name) and that’s due to my French background (English is my third language by the way).</p>