TOPIC:
Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?
MY ESSAY:
Have you ever seen or met someone who is so genius so that he or she knows too much and her or his brain floods with knowledge? If so, would you say that those genius people are blessed, because they almost know everything?
If I have ever met anyone who is so genius, I would definitely say that those people with genius brains are blessed.
Knowledge can never be a burden. Knowing as many things as one can is a blessed part. People say everything should be moderate and adequate, because too much or too less is never a good thing.
However, the knowledge is a different part. Knowing and learning something excessively has never been a bad thing.
Even though one knows too much, that doesn’t harm that person.
knowledge is a power for every single part of our lives. There may be a few people who have exploding brains with knowledge, however, that isn’t a normal thing to be born with genius brains, so having a genius brain is the thing that everyone envies of. People with genius brain and excessive amount of knowledge in their brain should be thankful for having it because that is what most of people want to have but don’t.
In addition, knowledge can never be out of people’s control, because knowledge comes from humans. Not automatically it comes out of nowhere.
In my opinion, having a knowledge that everyone is eager for is a blessed and lucky part. So I strongly disagree with an idea that state that the knowledge is a burden rather than a benefit. Knowledge is a power in our society and there is nothing harmful or wrong about having an extreme power. Knowledge never harms anyone.
So, this is my essay till here and I will be really thankful if anyone can score my essay frankly. It is my only second attempt on writing an essay so please tell me if there is anything which should be improved or removed from an essay!
The total mark of essay in SAT is 6, so JUST SCORE MY ESSAY OUT OF 6, please.
Thanks in advance
Friend, this falls short of what they ask for. You are approaching it in the wrong way. They ask for support paragraphs taken from history, literature, and personal life. You speak in generalities instead. It’s not about “brains” or “genius” either, as in level of knowledge. The prompt is not, “Are you lucky if you’re a genius?” You’re supposed to be making an argument, with specific examples from literature, history, personal life, as to how/when knowledge is not a burden (since you’re taking that position), and you would need to show how whatever risks or unpleasantness was attached to that knowledge was compensated for or overcome by the benefits of knowing.
thank you so much for your helpful advice! i will try to back up my opinions more precisely.
Right. Because (and students are insufficiently trained in this), a persuasive essay question is not, ultimately, a question about your opinion. The makers of the test (and even of the ACT essay question) do not care about your opinion, per se. They care about how the test-taker can argue – the methodology of argument. That’s why it’s always best if the student takes the side of the question (yes or no) which he or she can argue better than the other side. (How do the readers even know what your "true"opinion is? They don’t, and you’re not in a court of law sworn to give truthful answers about your position… You’re simply taking an intellectual position, arguing a hypothetical.) Sometimes I have my students line up the + side and the - side, with support for each side, and then determine which side they can provide more support for. That’s the side they should choose.
I agree with @epiphany - as I said in your duplicate post, I could think of several examples where knowledge is a burden. It is also easier to argue that direction, because you only need to provide one or two counterexamples, rather than justify why knowledge is always beneficial (but if you can argue and convince us this is correct, go for it).
An analogy to this: in math/logic, if you need to determine whether X implies Y, you either need to directly prove it, or find one counterexample where X is true but Y is not. If you are unsure, which path looks easier?
As a score, I would give a 2 or 3, but look at it in a positive way so you know how to improve. @epiphany is right, use examples to prove your side of the argument. There is no right or wrong perspective, it just matters how you back it up. For this writing format, do not write in the style of your 1st and 4th paragraphs (the “I” statements and personal opinions). Only use “I” if you’re using a personal anecdote as an example. With your 2nd and 3rd paragraphs, if you wrote the same thing with the support of examples, it would be a much stronger essay.
@chbabe This may seem off-topic at first, but consider the following math problem (should be understandable with an Alg 1 background):
Q: Let n be a positive integer. Is n^2 + n + 17 always prime?
To answer this, you’d either have to prove it or give one counterexample where n^2 + n + 17 is not prime. Which would you try first?
Trying small values of n:
n=1: 19
n=2: 23
n=3: 29
n=4: 37
n=5: 47
n=6: 59
n=7: 73 (all prime)
These “examples” (in SAT speak) support the fact that the claim is true, but do not form a valid mathematical proof. The claim fails at n=16:
n=16: 289 (=17*17)
So the answer is objectively “no.”
Likewise here, if might be easier and more convincing to find counterexamples, rather than argue the other direction, regardless of what your actual opinion might be.
@MITer94 @virsha24 @epiphany You don’t know how thankful I am now. All of your replies and advice help me a lot to read my essay again and correct all the mistake. (I will have to write an essay all over again because that will be easier than correcting all of the mistake, by the way.) Thank you so much for spending your precious time on reading my insufficient essay and leave comments to help me. I will be writing an another essay soon for SAT practice again, and it will be great if you can read it and tell me if it is improved and give me some feedback about it. Even though you can’t, I am already grateful enough for your comments. I hope you have good days! Thanks a lot 
@chbabe no problem - hope my math-y example helped.
@chbabe
You sound like an English learner. Are you? I ask for a constructive reason.
@epiphany yes I am an English learner. Not so fluent…
@chbabe
That should be something that is stated on your college applications.
why does that have to be stated on my college applications? Does that make any difference?
Saying stuff like ‘genius brains’ doesn’t make you sound very knowledgeable or like a good writer
then what kind of words can I use to describe the same meaning? Can you give me some examples for it?
Didn’t say “have to” but “should.” Slight difference there. It puts any student’s achievements in a favorable light when the student is challenged in some key aspect, such as the very language in which he or she is being expected to write the application. It’s your choice, naturally.
@chbabe
The bigger issue is that the prompt is not about genius at all, nor about “brains” per se. It’s about knowledge, and I don’t think you understand the difference between knowledge and intelligence. The English verb “to know” means simply to be aware of – whether the knower is brilliant or stupid.
Yes, @epiphany is right - one can know a lot of things but be a complete idiot.
An example I was thinking of at first: knowing or having access to top-secret information without the appropriate clearance, where exposure poses risks to life and national security.
Or, knowledge can be a burden if you know something you don’t want to know.
For example, you found out your father was cheating on your mother. She doesn’t know, and he doesn’t know you know about it.
Or your child has an illness and you are a leading specialist in that disease and you know even better than everyone else that the outcome is not good. Everyone around you tells you the child will get better but your knowledge tells you otherwise.
See how these are examples of where knowledge is a burden?
Yes, these are really good examples for saying that the knowledge is a burden. I thought knowledge is something related to education, like studies at school. I couldn’t think about the outside of the box. Thanks.