Plz give feedback on my essay

<p>Prompt: Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better?</p>

<p>Although technology makes our lives easier, it often comes with its own drawbacks. The invention of the telephone and the automobile exemplify this topic. </p>

<p>When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had not the slightest clue as to how much it would evolve. Todya, the average person has a smartphone, capable of surfing the web and interacting with friends through messaging and social media. Although this technology has facilitated our means of communication, it has also taken up much of our leisure time. For generations, dinner used to be seen as the time for families to unite and discuss problems. Nowadays, a typical teenager is seen texting or using Facebook at the dinner table, thus spending less time communicating with family. So, the creation of the telephone has distanced people from their families. </p>

<p>The automobile is hailed as one of the greatest inventions of all time, due to its fast speed and abilitiy to carry many passengers. But, this invention comes with its own problems. Many of the worlds best car brands, including Honda and Toyota are manufactured in Japan. The factories that manufacture these cars emit deadly fumes and toxins into the atmosphere, polluting the air that Japanese people breathe. This pollution has been linke to child birth defects, forcing many Japanese to keep their mouths and noses covered. In addition to this, cars themselves require the burning of fossil fuels, a valuable but dearth natural resource that is quickly becoming depleted. </p>

<p>Although both of these inventions have made our lives easier, they have also backfired on us. With the average human spending much of his life on his smartphone and with rapidly rising temperatures due to global warming, we seek a solution, which will probably result in the creation of a new technology that has another backlash on human society.</p>

<p>The first body paragraph is much stronger than the second because you spend more time analyzing than regurgitating.</p>

<p>In the second body paragraph you tell me nothing I didn’t know (or that I couldn’t have found out in five minutes).</p>

<p>The SAT essay is a test of your ability to think critically and phrase those thoughts effectively. Don’t believe for a second that it’s a test of your ability to remember facts.</p>

<p>It’s an OK essay. Fundamentally, the thesis is a bit weak, and the whole essay could benefit from better organization and structure.
In terms of the writing itself, try to show variety in sentence structure and vocabulary. Some of the sentences can also benefit from better phrasing as well. </p>

<p>Otherwise, good effort in trying to link the examples back to your thesis.</p>