Please grade this essay

<p>I typed it exactly as I had written it. Tell me what you think it deserves out of 12. It's the one about technology making our lives easier. I want to know how to improve by the SAT on Saturday, so if you could tell me what it deserves and why, I would be very grateful.</p>

<p>Do changes that maker our lives easier not necessarily make them better?</p>

<pre><code> Although the changes that arise constantly in technology often make our lives more simple, they do not improve the quality of life. Technological innovations make people become too dependent on material objects. Also, the so-called advancements can be detrimental to health. Finally, some inventions remove basic social skills that are vital to someone's ability to succeed.

The automobile was at first welcomed as a rapid transportation device. However, the car has overall had a very malignant effect on humans. People drive everywhere now. This may seem like an improvement from walking, but actually cars have created problems like obesity and laziness. Now, commuters languish in between trips by automobile. The subsequent paucity of exercise has created an epidemic. Obesity has claimed 30% of America, and the car is to blame. While passengers enjoy their decadence in air-conditioned cars, their legs atrophy. The body isn't doing what it's meant to: walk. Diseases like diabetes, cancer, and heart disease proliferate in countries that embrace cars. The automobile may have made life easy, but it surely didn't make it better.

Humans who are constantly using technology become helpless without it. While many Americans use spell-check for writing letters and calculators for math, those same people tremble in front of a blank piece of real paper when writing a letter. They have become inured to a lifestyle that allows them to switch off their brains, while technology does everything for them. These mindless masses make up our technology-dependent society. They no longer possess essential skills like spelling and arithmetic. Independent thought and reasoning have been killed, and the culprit is technology.

It is obvious that technology has a negative impact on life. Some changes that create more simple lives also make those lives worse.
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<p>Thank you.</p>

<p>I would give it an 8. You had examples supporting you essay and you did answer the question. I don't think the introduction was very unique. Conclusion is kinda short and basic. </p>

<p>I think another example would've been nice and counter argument always gets me 9 and above.</p>

<p>conclusion is too short. try throwing something from literature in there.</p>

<p>My problem was that I ran out of time. What do you think it would get it if I had another body paragraph (maybe based on literature) and a longer conclusion?</p>

<p>I'd give you a 9...you don't necessarily have to have a longer conclusion (you can get a perfect score without one)...im not sure about some of your word choice btw. ie: enure, atrophy, languish
make sure you understand the words you are using very well...otherwise its pretty good..keep practicing and read the really good ones they put up on the cb site</p>

<p>return the courtesy and do mine as well please :-)
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<p>Your conclusion ****es me off, I would grade you lower just cause of that.</p>

<p>people take like 30 sec to read it so i don't think they'd put too much emphasis on a conclusion as they know you only get 25 min and could've ran out of time on it...</p>