Plz grade this essay~ Thanks. ;)

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>In business, the term "personal brand" describes how companies define themselves and differentiate their products from those of other companies. People, too, are often advised to develope a kind of personal brand or style-- to make themselves stand out from other people by developing unique characteristics. Nowadays, people who want to be successful in school, at work, or in their personal relationships must emphasize their differences from their peers in the same way that companies emphasize their differences from their competitors. </p>

<p>Assignment: Do people succeed by emphasizing their differences from other people? </p>

<p>================================My Essay============================</p>

<p>In a society where individuality has been praised and lionized more than ever, there is a growing concern about how to stand out from the crowd. In fact, rarely can people step on the ladder to success by conforming to the old rules and common behaviors. One would have to strive for uniqueness and emphasize his difference so as to pave the road to success.</p>

<p>In the music industry, imitation of other’s work can only incur criticism and indifference, while original creation is what truly shines with enduring brilliance. Born in Singapore and grew up in London, Vanessa-Mae took up the violin at the age of five. She was a rising star in the world of classical music, but also had some ideas of her own about music. As a teenager, she began experimenting with her talent, and released The Violin Player, which she called a "techno-acoustic fusion" album. It featured both traditional and electric violin, hitting the U.K. pop charts and going multi-platinum. However, some critics objected to the video of Vanessa-Mae playing a techno-pop version of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in a wet T-shirt, and scratched their heads when they heard that she would be playing a violin solo on Janet Jackson's The Velvet Rope album. Vanessa, on the other hand, confronted the criticism with huge confidence, claiming that "When you're brave enough to do something new, people are always threatened by it." Nonetheless, few audiences that see Vanessa-Mae give a live performance have any objections. More often they are left awestruck, roaring for an encore. Thus, it is conspicuous that the drive for originality and the yearning for emphasizing her difference helped Vanessa conquer the challenge of classical music, and established her as a violin pop queen.</p>

<p>The importance of emphasizing the difference can also apply to the business industry. Richard Branson, an international entrepreneur, established his business empire, the Virgin Group, which contains 360 companies, by his magic spark of creativity. To launch the Virgin Brides, a wedding company, he made his stunning appearance in a $10,000 wedding dress and high heels, thus attracting the media’s spotlight. What’s more, he even drove a World War II tank up to, and fired at, the Coca Cola sign in Time Square, New York City, to launch the challenge of the Virgin Cola. By all creative means, Branson not only established his unique business style, but also firmly grabbed the media’s attention, helping to promote his business to a larger extent. Consequently, Branson’s role as a “Maverick in Paradise” proved his uniqueness and brought him immense success around the world.</p>

<p>From the examples above, it is safe to come to the conclusion that one can succeed only by accentuating his individuality, which would help him stand out from the crowd and increase the possibility of success. </p>

<p>=================
Ps. I know that I still need to work on my introduction and conclusion. My test is on this Saturday, and I am striving for a 10+ in my essay. Is it possible to achieve such a score within 2 days, based on my current level?</p>

<p>Anyone please?
Any comment?</p>

<p>Definetly 8+/12.</p>

<p>Any comment? Why 8+? Did you simply determine by looking at the length? lol</p>

<p>Come on guys, plz give some comments and suggestions! Thx.</p>

<p>Bump.</p>

<p>Please. :(</p>

<p>I’m going to bump this up for you. Best of luck my friend. :)</p>

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<p>Thank you! Well, do you have any comment about my essay though?</p>

<p>Good news bro, I would honestly give you a 11 on this essay. I won’t give you a 12 because of your conclusion. Make it stronger! Your first example is great! Second one needed a bit more clarification and more in-depth detail. Here is my essay and I received a 12 by many CCers. Best luck of luck bro! Criticize my essay too. :)</p>

<p>DO small decisions often have major consequences?</p>

<p>The Ancient Greek saying “Abide by life” means for one to acknowledge all parts of human life equally. Small decisions expand the scope of human troubles by lead to life threatening situations. Several historic examples clearly exemplify the destruction of small decisions.</p>

<p>Now lets meticously analyze India’s undaunted freedom fighter, Bagat Singh, who thought invading the royal palace, Bastille, would give his people freedom. As he stood on top of the palace his issued a scathing statement, " My people will kill those who disobey". His caustic words stimulated the government to attack him and his people. On June 17, 1789 the devious government tortured and slaughtered millions of people, he was stomped on and killed by virulent knives being penetrated through his squirmish eyes. Singh’s decision clearly demonstrates how small ignorant decisions can lead to a watershed of life.</p>

<p>Moreover, on January 29,2009, Governor Rob Boljevich was convicted on numerous charges of malfeasance. Most importantly because of his decision to nonchalantly exacerbate the wealthy bank accounts of his gullible victims when a small law was put in action. On December 25, 2008, the government had issued a law where the state government could see how much money was in their state citizens earn. By doing so, Boljevich began plotting schemes to override his citizens or “victims” to control their money. Consumed with cupidity, Boljevich consumed Illinois’s bank account and fled the country. Suddenly, Cable New Network’s (CNN) broadcast media spotted him in Olaqay, Jamaica. Boljevich was sentenced to life in prison. This momentous event could have been avoided if the government simple left income earnings private. Boljevich’s actions clearly demonstrate how small decisions can lead to life disaster. </p>

<p>Furthermore, Joseph Stalin, who ruled the Soviet Union from 1924 until his death decided to leave his safe bunker for some fresh air. Spotted by enemy French Troops, the soldiers decided to immediately invade the land. Consequences elevated for Stalin once his army was obliterated. Stalin surrendered and was shot multiple times around his face. Because Stalin wanted “fresh air” he ironically became fresh meat. It is clear how Stalin’s small decision lead to the Soviet Union’s destruction and his life being crushed. </p>

<p>All these historic examples demonstrate how life can change because of decisions that many don’t think thoroughly about. Treat life equally, along with decisions and actions. These so-called small decisions all destroyed the lives of Singh, Boljevich, and Stalin. Treat these small decisions as if they were precious babies; with care.</p>

<p>I’m going to say 8/12.</p>

<p>You have some very good examples. A few minor grammatical and spelling errors, but nothing important. Your introduction and conclusion paragraphs are very short, which will probably hurt you. On the other hand your second paragraph is very long and contains a fair amount of what I would consider to be superfluous information. If time is an issue, then I would recommend cutting down that paragraph in favor of working more on your conclusion or adding another example. If you can make your body paragraphs more concise, that will help, as well as giving you a little extra time.</p>

<p>SATnoob: I’m not sure whether I would give your essay a 4 or a 5 (out of 6). On the one hand, you have great examples and a clear grasp of what you’re supposed to be writing, but on the other hand, you’re trying way too hard to sound smart. You’re trying to fit as many large, impressive words into your essay as possible, and as a result are misusing many of them. You would be far better off writing clearly and concisely with “normal” words.</p>