<p>D1s roommate does nothing but sleep. Seriously, she gets up, goes to class, comes back to the room and sleeps. D was home this weekend to help me with a big fundraiser for her high school band. Got her back to the dorm about 7:15. Roommate is sleeping. She is from a long way away at a school that pulls most of it's students from a 200 mile radius. I think she may be depressed.</p>
<p>I know what to do for the roommate. The school has a group of development personnel equipped to deal with these situations. I will give them her name. FYI this school is my employer, so I have an obligation to make the group aware of roomie since I suspect more than run of the mill homesickness.</p>
<p>I do not know what to do with D. D is shy. She's made some friends but doesn't feel connected enough to many people to go hang out in their rooms. She cannot be in her own room because roomie doesn't want to be disturbed while she is sleeping, which is all the time. I've encouraged her to ask about a room change, but the shy kid in her finds that horribly intimidating. I've told her to go about her business, but who wants to come visit the room where the girl sleeps all the time and you can't even turn on the light? I don't know what else to say.</p>
<p>I’d be concerned about possible physical health issues (e.g., anemia, hypothyroid, mono, leukemia, etc) as well.</p>
<p>That said, considering all the bad room mate luck one can have (e.g., theft, sexiling, drunken vomiting, even violence), a room mate who sleeps all day seriously might not be that bad of a draw,</p>
<p>My D’ s recent RM, a good friend, was given to napping at odd hours, and D was incredibly nice about tiptoeing around and keeping the lights off–I thought she was way too accommodating, and it used to annoy the heck out of me when D would whisper “Hello” when I called in the middle of the day and tell me to hold on while she scurried out into the hallway to talk to me. I would have completely flipped out if my D were tolerating the situation you describe. I understand that your D may be too shy to confront the RM in any way, but it is ridiculous to expect a room to be kept silent and dark all day. If you can convince her to get up the courage to discuss matters, she should explain that she is happy to agree to a normal schedule of “sleeping hours”, say from 10:00 pm until 8:00 am, but outside of those hours she needs to be able to use her room freely, with lights on and a reasonable noise level, whether from visitors, phone conversations, music, etc. Perhaps you could emphasize that your D is really doing her RM no favors by enabling her unhealthy behavior. You might also tell her that you are paying a lot of money for her room and that it’s unacceptable to you for her not to have full use of it.</p>
Yes, your D ‘can’ be in ‘her’ room including having friends come by. The roomie will need to deal with it or else get herself a single or an apartment. It’s unreasonable for the roomie to expect to completely control the room to accommodate her excessive sleeping. </p>
<p>Your D is in the same boat as the one over on the other controlling roommate thread from UMDclass.</p>
<p>Some people sleep out of boredom - it’s not always due to depression (plus some people simply sleep a lot). Maybe a more active room will help alleviate some of the roomie’s boredom and she won’t sleep so much but regardless, it’s your D’s room as well and she should use it as the room is normally expected to be used which isn’t just for sleeping the majority of the day.</p>