<p>So, here's the deal. My roommate has not gone to class since the Wednesday before last. Instead, she spends literally all day long in bed. She gets out at 11pm to go take a shower and check facebook and then goes back. Her story is that she wakes up in the morning for class, goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth and ends up throwing up, and then goes back to bed.</p>
<p>Here are my issues with this. Her alarm is not even going off. She is not waking up for the first time until after 3pm every day. She is still going clubbing on Thursdays, and went home this weekend to go to a birthday party-- she goes home every weekend and goes out with friends and is mysteriously sick again on Monday. I have not seen her get out of bed to throw up once, and I am never gone for more than an hour and a half at a time.</p>
<p>She is a freshman and, as I said, has been going home every weekend-- at Umich, there is PLENTY to do here on weekends, she just won't adjust to being here. She has made no effort to make friends and as such really hasn't made any. She was really popular in high school so the idea that friends are not flocking to her now blows her mind. She had a bad break up right before school started and was so depressed her mom had to carry her from her bed to the bathroom to pee because she just wouldn't get out of bed (sound familiar?) The week before she got "sick," her parents found out she had been going to MSU on weekends to drink and she basically told them, "I AM SO SAD AND I WANT TO COME HOME AND I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND DRINKING IS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES IT BETTER AND YOU CANT STOP ME."</p>
<p>MY guess is that right now she is either seriously depressed AND/OR trying to scam her parents into yanking her out and letting her come home. I have let her know that I am here for her if she ever needs to talk or needs a friend, when she has mentioned having a hard time adjusting here and whatnot, and I have told my RA about this. If I ever encounter her again when she is conscious I am going to mention medical leave, because she is so going to fail out at this rate and she is either physically or mentally ill right now. I don't know what else I can do without overstepping. </p>
<p>HERE is my "etiquette" issue. She is asleep all day. Literally all day long I am tip toeing around trying not to wake her up, not using the microwave, not watching tv, things I feel you should do out of the kindness of your heart when roommate is napping. BUT SHE NEVER GETS OUT OF BED EVER. So I literally sit here in silence, most of the time in the dark, ALL THE TIME. Given the circumstances should I just let it go and keep doing what I'm doing? My mom told me it's ridiculous she's still asleep at 3pm no matter what the circumstances and to go ahead and watch tv if I want, but I feel like that's inconsiderate. But given how weird all this is (and how LONG it has been going on, with no end in sight) I don't know what I should do. I go to the library and stuff but I am still transitioning here and don't have a friends room I can go sit in and it's driving me nuts to sit here in the dark and be quiet all day long. Not to mention that I have friends from home that like to come visit semi-regularly and we can never go to my room now because she is always sleeping.</p>
<p>that’s a U Mich student? what a lazy hoe
no, it’s not inconsiderate of u to watch t.v. or whatever. it’s inconsiderate of her to assume you’re going to make all of your choices revolve around her. homegirl needs a reality check.</p>
<p>Wait, just so I’m clear here, is this her schedule?
Get to campus sunday night, go to sleep.
Wake up Monday afternoon for a little bit, go back to sleep.
Same Tuesday and Wednesday.
Go Clubbing Thursday night.
Wake up Friday and drive home.</p>
<p>If this is literally her schedule and you’re not exaggerating then she is absolutely ill. A person with correct mental and physical health does not sleep that much.</p>
<p>It’s clear you’re a very good person and going against what you personally feel probably wont work so I agree with talking to a counselor about it. If she has issues someone should help her sort them out</p>
<p>"MY guess is that right now she is either seriously depressed AND/OR trying to scam her parents into yanking her out and letting her come home. "</p>
<p>She also may be spending her day getting drunk or high as one of my college friends did after she became seriously depressed. Years later, I learned that my friend – who was about 5’, 100 pounds, had been putting away a case of beer a week all by herself.</p>
<p>If your roommate really is physically sick, she needs to get help from the student health center. If the RA won’t help you, go to the dean of students. Also, you have the right to use your room and turn on the lights in a normal way. I think you should start doing that now. If she’s really so sick that she needs to be in bed for 2 weeks, she needs to be in the health clinic, a hospital or at home. If she’s faking illness, your using the room normally probably will force her to get up and deal with her problems in a healthier way.</p>
<p>"Wait, just so I’m clear here, is this her schedule?
Get to campus sunday night, go to sleep.
Wake up Monday afternoon for a little bit, go back to sleep.
Same Tuesday and Wednesday.
Go Clubbing Thursday night.
Wake up Friday and drive home.</p>
<p>If this is literally her schedule and you’re not exaggerating then she is absolutely ill. A person with correct mental and physical health does not sleep that much. "</p>
<p>Get dropped off at school Monday morning and go to sleep, wake up at 11pm to check facebook and shower, back to sleep until 11pm tuesday, and so on, wakes up to go clubbing Thursday evening, then back to sleep until her parents pick her up Friday afternoon. She wakes up once in a while between 5pm and like 10pm for a few minutes but that’s about it. </p>
<p>She emerged for a few hours today to eat and watch a movie with me so I am going to look into who I can contact for her and if she isn’t better by the time I figure it out then I’ll talk to someone, in the meantime the lights and the tv are coming back. The constant quiet and dark is making ME depressed so hopefully this will work out.</p>
<p>yeah, it seems like the not tiptoeing around her might actually do some good; if she finds she can’t sleep because of the noise maybe she’ll get up and decide to do her homework every once in a while, go to class, talk to your guests, etc. I’m extremely nocturnal myself and do more class skipping/waking up at 3 pm than I should, but I would never expect roommates to accommodate me on that.</p>
<p>^^Yeah, I am the same way. She used to go to bed at 10-11pm and wake up at 7 or 8 every day, even on weekends, and I told her straight out, several times, that I sleep like a crazy person and she should feel no obligation to be quiet when I sleep half the day. But she does it anyway and then I feel bad if I don’t do the same. :</p>
<p>Although last week I was up until 5am and REALLY needed a nap the next day and that was one of her rare conscious moments and she sat and yapped on the phone. I was beyond furious. I would have gone into the hall to use the phone if she was sleeping. Sleeping during the day is really not that big of a deal to me when it’s not all the time, I know better than most how exhausting college can be and sometimes you just need your roommate to cut you some slack and let you sleep. But even before she started saying she was sick she slept most of the day, it was just AFTER she went to class.</p>
<p>Firstly I need to say, you are really a nice girl.</p>
<p>What make me un-believeable is that she can sleep so much! There are two reasons that can explain this: one is she’s ill in heath, another is she’s drank too much so that she need to sleep that long.</p>
<p>About your question, I think you already did too much. But you should konw that: whether she knew your situation currently? If she konw this, I think you can start a dialog with her formally. If she not, just find a suitable time to sit down with her and talk all of the things. I believe that you want to be her firends, at the same time you also save yourself.</p>
<p>I believe other only can provide you some advice, all need to do depends on you. You should stand up from dark and turn on the light, then talk to her… To start your spring…</p>
<p>I think you should just stop being so nice. Honestly, if she sleeps as much as you say, she is going to die from it eventually. Inform a counselor, but stop being so considerate! It’s not fair to you, and she wasn’t considerate when you were sleeping, so it seems perfectly fine for you to watch T.V. or whatever you want to do. An eye for an eye, if you will.</p>
<p>I think you’re going about this the wrong way. Stop being so nice; your roommate sounds like she could possibly be mentally or physically ill, and her parents seem clueless, and you’re not doing her any favors by ignoring it or being nice, when she needs help. It’s also unfair that you have to deal with this…I’m imagining you sitting in the corner of a dark room reading by the light of your laptop. </p>
<p>Go to your college Health/Wellness center and talk to someone, and make sure you talk to your RA (since they have more authority to approach your roommate than you do). Either she’s really really really immature,lazy, and homesick, or she’s actually sick and needs help. Possibly drinking too much or using drugs as well. hope everything works out.</p>
<p>lol i know this problem. Sometimes my roommate sleeps till 11 on schooldays and on one sunday, he slept till 4 which is really annoying because i have to be careful about noise.</p>
<p>That’s kind of how I am, I will regularly sleep til 3pm on weekends, but I’ve told my roommate she does NOT have to be quiet after like 9am. After that it’s MY problem that I am still asleep. She literally has not seen daylight in weeks.</p>
<p>Although I just got back from class, and she is not here. O.O</p>
<p>I don’t see what the problem here is. You both probably made an agreement at the beginning of the year, stick to that. She has the right to sleep all day and be antisocial, you have the right to watch TV or be loud during the day. I wouldn’t mind if my room mate was loud at 3pm while I was taking a nap, and I wouldn’t be annoyed if my room mate skipped all his classes to sleep in. Her problem is not yours, don’t be such a busybody, do what you want during the daytime, let her do what she wants.</p>
<p>Yes, a college student has the right to not be pestered by their roommate about skipping class or not going out. But this roommate is showing legitimate signs of depression or some other serious condition. To ignore this would be irresponsible. And her habits are having a negative impact on her roommate.</p>
<p>Slightly off-topic, I’m a really heavy sleeper. And my roommate often stays out late and parties while I typically don’t. I’ve made it clear that I don’t care if he turns the lights on or makes noise when he come back. Also, as long as neither of us are waking up at some ungodly early hour (like, 5:45 as I had to do this morning), it isn’t that important to be quiet either.</p>
<p>I’d do your TV or microwaving or whatever you need to do. If she needs to sleep that badly she’ll sleep through it.</p>
<p>But it would be nice to suggest she see a counselor or you talk to the RA or something. She doesn’t sound like she’s doing OK at all and I suppose you are the only one who really sees it right now.</p>
