<p>I was told by a college professor that a lot of freshmen start mild to severe depresion after thanksgiving. Maybe winter blues, plus the fact of going home (many of them for the first time since they started college), and then leaving home again without the excitement of novelty. Do you concurr? What can be done to cheer them up, apart from reminding them that Xmas is only a month away?
I had planned to send my D (who won't be coming home) some cookies, until she told me that adding to the Freshman Fifteen was not likely to boost her morale!</p>
<p>I think the professor is missing one of the issues that may trouble freshmen after Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>At most colleges, there are only a week or two of classes after Thanksgiving before final exams start. The first final exam period can be a formidable challenge for freshmen.</p>
<p>I think the professor is missing one of the issues that may trouble freshmen after Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>At most colleges, there are only a week or two of classes after Thanksgiving before final exams start. The first final exam period can be a formidable challenge for freshmen.</p>
<p>There was a good thread last year about "second semeter blues". I absolutely believe in this, although think it hits more in January, and we have experienced it with our oldest. I would tend to think the kids in northern schools are more susceptible. Many residents of cold weather climates experience SAD in winter.</p>
<p>The kids come back for winter break to the comforts of home, reconnect with family and friends (who only share the fun stories of their colleges), enjoy the holidays and celebrations and stay long enough to really get settled back home. They then have to return to school in the dark and cold of the dead of winter, knowing that the workload is tough, with perhaps a less than ideal roommate situation, back to cafeteria food, shared bathrooms, etc. To me, it very understandable that the blues can set in. Many kids who were very happy 1st semester, will bring up the word "transfer".</p>
<p>What we did with our son was to listen to his concerns and not try to gloss over his feelings. We really did not think a transfer was called for, but we told him we would stay open to the idea and reevaluate later in the semester. We encouraged him to continue all ECs that he joined 1st semester, eat healthy, sleep regularly and definitely get out and exercise. No drastic changes or decisions when you're feeling down. We also advised him that he had to keep his grades up in case of a transfer. Although we had many miserable phone calls (we would look at the caller ID and cringe), this seemed to do the trick and a few weeks later he called and said the words we longed to hear "You were right, this is a good place for me". After that, he was back to his old self.</p>
<p>I think just validating our son's feelings and telling him we would be open to other options really relieved the pressure. Healthy eating, regular sleep patterns, exercise and staying active and involved are all important ways to combat the blues.</p>
<p>Part of the issue is students build up so many wild expectations of how "perfect" college life is going to be. When reality sets in, that can be disheartening.</p>
<p>Not many kids from D's school go out of state for college. Christmas holidays was a mixed bag of emotions from those who did and those who stayed (2 absolutely loved where they were, 2 really did not and the rest were not as happy as they thought they would be but transfer was not part of their vocabulary - D was part of this crowd). By summer the mood had changed tremendously. The 2 happy campers were still happy, one of the unhappy ones ended up transferring, and the rest joined the "happy camp". In fact at a gathering with those who went and those who stayed, it was the ones who stayed who were questioning their decision and talking transfer. All it really took was time for these kids to discover where they were and what those places had to offer. I'm just glad I have no more upcoming freshmen. ;)</p>
<p>Thanks, my-3-sons. Indeed, D is going to discover some time soon how cold winter can be, and I agree that that is one of the reasons for feeling depressed. I'm afraid the Xmas break will be tough, because after the first rejoicings and meeting up with friends, D may feel that she no longer fits in so well with friends who are living their own and very different life. I get the impression that a lot of highschool friendships revolve around shared interests, and that will no longer be the case. Moreover, in France, the Xmas break only lasts 2 weeks, so friends and family alike will be back at work, leaving D pretty much to her own devices. This may help her feel positive about returning to college, but if she goes back already depressed, how will she cope with the winter term? I know I might seem overly pessimistic, but D1 went into severe depression after a winter in Chicago, and I can't help worrying.</p>
<p>Actually I heard a talk about this at one of my kid's freshmen orientations. They said sort of the opposite:</p>
<p>That for many kids around about Thanksgiving they are really starting to miss home and their home friends (the newness of college having worn off and the reality of the workload setting in). Then they go home only to discover that they really weren't missing anything, and that they actually miss their new friends from college. So, they're happy to get back to school, feeling at last like they truly belong there. (Strike up the music here. Everybody lives happily ever after.)</p>
<p>From personal experience though, my kids seem the same no matter where they are.</p>
<p>weenie- speaks very well for those well-adjusted kids of yours. </p>
<p>For others, the road to that state is a bit bumpier....</p>
<p>^ Or how clueless they are. Which is a distinct possibility...</p>
<p>LOL But what a nice kind of cluelessness!</p>
<p>Might be a little late for joining, but--
if they're involved in clubs or sports, at least they'll have those relationships and some organized fun to look forward to on return</p>
<p>So, I probably shouldn't worry, as worry is usually as contagious as measles...</p>