Although this isn’t Facebook. At my kids high school they encourage the kids to write their names down on the college acceptance board. Most kids have multiple acceptances. The point I think being that kids then can figure out who else is accepted and considering college xyz and perhaps talk to them. This is a large public high school with over 400 kids graduating every year so I think it helps the kids talk about the college with others they may not be best friends with.
As far as Facebook. I posted DS’s acceptance to the college he ended up at before he decided whether he was going or not. lol. I know but when 10 other kids in the subdivision also got in EA well…I felt I had to. B-)
Most of my friends post the first acceptance and then where the child decides to attend. I’m always happy to read where the child is going, whether it’s HYP or local directional U. It’s a huge life milestone. I don’t think it’s tacky at all.
Posting about where one is matriculating is celebrating a milestone and informing friends and family. Posting every acceptance is bragging, and just tacky. My school’s college acceptance board is just for where students are matriculating, which makes a lot more sense to me, since you can see who you’re going with, not just everyone who got accepted.
I posted when DD made her final college decision, but not all of her acceptances.
It is interesting to me that people generally think that grades and test scores and college admissions are completely inappropriate, but many of the same people post endlessly about athletic achievements. It is just a cultural thing, I guess.
I’ve personally posted about every single acceptance I’ve received. I couldn’t care less if there’s a perception of “bragging”, because getting six college acceptances in six different states is a point of pride and joy for me. I’ve never heard ANYONE, to my face or otherwise, say that they have a problem with me posting all my college acceptances. Many have congratulated me on all of them. And the day I finally deposit to a school, I’m gonna be blowing that horn like there’s no tomorrow. You bet that I’ll be ALL OVER FB, IG, and Twitter (when I get one) basking in the glory of where I’m matriculating in the fall.
My parents on the other hand…I don’t know, to be honest. I’m not FB friends with them. Maybe my parents posted about my first acceptance, but none since. I do expect them to post about where I’m going, though.
My son took himself off FB several years ago. He is concerned about privacy. So I never post about him. i personally wouldn’t mind hearing ED or final choices.
I have a male friend whose daughter got into multiple top schools and ultimately decided on Yale, where she is a senior. And he did post all her acceptances as they occurred.
Their other son, a year younger, is severely autistic and it’s the wife’s full time job to care for him. He cannot communicate beyond the basics, cannot be left alone for any period of time, will never be anything but completely dependent - it’s just a truly sad situation.
There is a sad dichotomy about sending your one child off to Yale and knowing that your other child will never be fully functioning. I don’t blame them from being thrilled about their daughter and it just didn’t feel braggy to me.
I enjoy seeing posts about touring colleges–you can infer acceptance this month. I have two FB friends who post things like “X is interviewing for scholarship blah blah RIGHT NOW” and “I’m so proud of my phenomenal kid for getting a handwritten note from the dean of Podunk U!” Of course I’m happy for the kid, but the play by play gets to be a bit much. These are both oldest children and I understand the compulsion to be braggy, however, because my first instinct is to post and I have to stop myself! Most people post after their kid has decided, and I like reading those posts. These two people are just very nice people bursting with pride. I like to be happy for people, and it’s a big life change so worthy of an announcement and I won’t hold it against them. I have a feeling by kid 4 they will calm down significantly.
PS Being on CC has saved my FB friends from a virtual monster of parental college obsession!
My son’s HS announces acceptances over the PA, if the student agrees. So naturally if anyone agrees to this, they are seen as snobby.
My son did not list his acceptance for a few weeks, as some of his friends were rejected ED. He told a few people and eventually others found out, so he thought at some point enough people knew so it didn’t matter.
I use FB rarely, only to link to FB pages for groups that have little information elsewhere, like special needs education for one of my children.
This isn’t even close to what you’re saying, but your post just triggered a memory for me.
I know a nurse, whom I’ve always liked very much, at one of two facilities where I work. I didn’t know anything of her personal life. While working a surgery in another facility, I was talking to one of the docs and I mentioned I worked in this other facility. He said, “Oh, my ex-wife works there.” I didn’t know they were exes because she had always kept her maiden name, so I never made the connection. He went on to say “Yeah, she’s the mother of my children. Here, I have pictures.” And he showed me photos of two handsome young men, both attending college.
Later I mentioned the conversation to her, and she said “Wait. He showed you pictures of two sons?” I nodded. She said “Well, we also have a daughter”. She pulled out her phone and showed me a photo of her daughter, who is also doing well in college. She has dwarfism. Neither one of us said anything, but the implication was clear. I felt horrible for even mentioning it.
As to the OP, I think it’s fine to say which college a child will be attending. Posting all acceptances, or SAT scores? Not so much. JMO.
I should add that this family also posts pictures of their son and celebrates his mini-achievements, advocates for groups that help the autistic, and so forth. So I don’t mean to imply that they didn’t. It just felt like - I can understand how they want to revel in the “normalcy” of their other child being accepted to colleges.
^^^Yeah, totally different. I also know a similar family. Their third child will always be dependent, while the first two attend elite, selective schools.
Post #32, I have a close relative who has dwarfism, and though I knew her as a teen and older, I didn’t recall seeing her before that. I asked my mom about it once, and he said that her mother and father were hiding her from the family when it was clear she had dwarfism. Funny thing is, she is very opinionated and strong now as an adult, and you just totally lose track of her disability (unfortunately there are a lot of medical conditions that come from dwarfism) when you are talking to her. Her mom still treated her like a kid in some ways as a young adult, but I think it might have been an only child thing.
And for other posts, there is a big discussion among the autism community, in particular, but other special needs communities as well, that if your oldest is developmentally disabled, should you have more kids in hopes that you have an “on track” younger kid, or should you stop at one kid for fear there is a genetic link? My nephew is severely autistic, and his parents were too afraid to have another child. And now at 20 years old and still in a special needs public school, they have to figure out not only how to take care of him with both parents working, but also what would happen to him if they passed away.
Conversely, my friend has a brother in his 40s who is just able enough to live alone with minimal but daily supervision. Her and her sibling will have to figure out who will take care of him when her parents pass, which could be within a few years. He is able to drive and go to work bagging groceries and shelving books, but he cannot handle money at all. It will be a huge lifestyle change for my friend if she needs to take him in or if he needs to go to a group home.
I have a special needs child and two children with medical conditions. Yet compared to some of those stories, only my special needs child might, and it is a low chance, need permanent care.
(I do feel funny telling my brother about my son getting into a great college that one of our mentors growing up went to. His son is a great kid, but going to college or getting married is almost completely off the table barring a miracle.)
Everyone does a certain amount of humble bragging on FB, in my opinion. I have a FB friend who documented seemingly every second of her pregnancy on FB and now virtually every day of her child’s first year of life (although never pictures of the kid looking sick or cranky, lol). The posts are always accompanied by some version of #soblessed. I think most of us who are on FB are happy to tolerate a certain amount of that. And you can always “unfollow” someone without unfriending them if you’re bothered. Just yesterday I saw on FB that an acquaintance’s son got into the music college program of his choice, and I was happy to see that. I don’t see them often and don’t know how I would otherwise have found out. OTOH I know someone who posted her kid’s class rank, and that was too much for me. I just rolled my eyes.
“I’ve personally posted about every single acceptance I’ve received. I couldn’t care less if there’s a perception of “bragging”, because getting six college acceptances in six different states is a point of pride and joy for me. I’ve never heard ANYONE, to my face or otherwise, say that they have a problem with me posting all my college acceptances. Many have congratulated me on all of them. And the day I finally deposit to a school, I’m gonna be blowing that horn like there’s no tomorrow. You bet that I’ll be ALL OVER FB, IG, and Twitter (when I get one) basking in the glory of where I’m matriculating in the fall.”
I think it’s quite likely that in a few years you’ll be embarrassed by this behavior. And it’s not just a perception of bragging. You openly admit that you’re posting it because it’s something you’re proud you’ve achieved. Isn’t that pretty much the definition of bragging?
About this: “I’ve never heard ANYONE, to my face or otherwise, say that they have a problem with me posting all my college acceptances.” Think about the times you’ve seen someone be a braggy idiot. Have you said anything to them, or just rolled your eyes inside? You have no idea how others really feel.
@ChuoShinkansen should I really care what they think? I’m someone who’s not really had a lot to brag about in general. I haven’t posted all my acceptances on IG or Twitter, just celebrating them on FB. But when I send in my deposit, I’ll be incredibly proud of my school, and I feel that I have a right to show that. I honestly feel that if people are offended by it, then they need to get thicker skin.
Most kids here outside of the Top 5 (in terms of class rank) apply to the exact same schools. After seeing people cry about a rejection while others are celebrating, I’d definitely refrain posting anything but my final choice. If anyone wanted to talk to me in person, I’d be happy to share. But I hated seeing my friend get rejected from and having to see others posting acceptances that same day.