Posting results on Facebook

“@ChuoShinkansen‌ should I really care what they think? I’m someone who’s not really had a lot to brag about in general. I haven’t posted all my acceptances on IG or Twitter, just celebrating them on FB. But when I send in my deposit, I’ll be incredibly proud of my school, and I feel that I have a right to show that. I honestly feel that if people are offended by it, then they need to get thicker skin.”

@lbad96‌ It’s up to you whether you care what they think. But “not caring what other people think” and “they just need to get thicker skin” are like the rude person’s mottos.

@ChuoShinkansen‌ if you honestly think I’m a “rude person”, then you don’t know the slightest thing about me. That’s not who I am in any sense or fashion. I’m not one to initiate rude behavior towards anyone.

@lbad96‌ Bragging and then saying that people “just need to get a thicker skin” is typically considered pretty rude.

Giving anonymous strangers etiquette lessons over the internet is also not a chapter in any of Miss Manners’s books.

Sure thing, but I’m pretty open about my rudeness.

@SomeOldGuy‌ thank you!! Honestly, I don’t need to be taught how to be polite at 18. Pretty ridiculous.

@ChuoShinkansen‌ whatever you say, I think getting multiple college acceptances is something that one has the right to brag about and be proud of. Posting about SCHOLARSHIPS is annoying and arrogant. But merely posting about where you got into isn’t, and shouldn’t be considered, over the top at all.

The difference between bragging about scholarships and bragging about acceptances is hella arbitrary.

@ChuoShinkansen: In other words, you give yourself social license to engage in behavior you find unbecoming in children? I think I get it now, and it explains a lot.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/profile/comments/100375808/ChuoShinkansen

It doesn’t bother me when parents post sporting results or college acceptances, but since I know a lot of people think that any postings about accomplishments are boasting I tend to say very little. I see nothing wrong in posting where your kid is going to attend college - it’s not like it’s going to be a secret for long. I don’t post much about my kids though because I know they wouldn’t like it.

I always wanted to know where other kids got in and how they made their choices, but I try to be discreet about how I ask, so parents feel comfortable sharing only what they want to. It wasn’t a secret that both my kids got rejected by some great schools and got accepted at other ones.

@lbad96‌ " @ChuoShinkansen‌ whatever you say, I think getting multiple college acceptances is something that one has the right to brag about and be proud of. Posting about SCHOLARSHIPS is annoying and arrogant. But merely posting about where you got into isn’t, and shouldn’t be considered, over the top at all. "

Why, what’s the difference between scholarships and acceptances? Both are competitive achievements? Your drawing the line there reminds me of George Carlin on speeding:

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

@SomeOldGuy‌ " @ChuoShinkansen: In other words, you give yourself social license to engage in behavior you find unbecoming in children? I think I get it now, and it explains a lot."

I’d say I’m just more honest about it? And where are the children? I think the youngest person here is 18.

FWIW, when I got into my college I did excitedly call/text a few friends, but that’s it.

I haven’t seen anyone in our facebook circle listing all the acceptances. We did have several families (myself included) that posted during their college search process about the schools we/they were visiting and what we/they liked and didn’t like about them, more like blogging than bragging, because we all know just because you visit a school doesn’t mean you’ll be accepted lol.

The only decision post I’ve seen was from one of D’s friends whose Mom posted a picture of her holding her acceptance letter and captioned “Class of 2019 ~ Boston University”. I thought it was cute. Once D makes her decision, we’ll most likely announce it on facebook, but we certainly won’t go into the rejections and acceptances of the 19 schools she applied to.

The high school where my daughter attended had an awards night for the IB seniors, and each student got up and after telling their favorite memory from high school, then told where they were going to college AND where they had been accepted. I really enjoyed hearing everyon’s’ news, and maybe FB is just a modern day extension of that! But I don’t know, maybe I would have felt differently had my own daughter not been accepted to her first choice school.

@ibad96 said:

I don’t think people would be offended, they would simply think you are a braggart or trying to compensate for some kind of insecurity, which your post above kind of alludes to.

As you said, “why should you care” what people think? Although one could argue that you wouldn’t brag if you didn’t care what people thought. In the end, whatever people think, they are on to the next thought pretty quickly if “bragging” is not a standard behavior. There is a saying “You wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you knew how rarely they did.” It took me a while to understand that when I was really young.

Everybody moves on, and where anyone went to school, much less where anyone got accepted, is not something anyone will remember. You’ll find this out if you go to your ten year re-union and EVERYBODY asks you where you went to college because they simply don’t remember any of that.

Life is full of milestones, and this is one of them, so congratulations and good luck in the future.

My D only posted the final decision–after May 1 national response day. For the senior picnic, kids wore a tshirt from the college they were going to.

My extended family has a “family album” through icloud in which we share pics back and forth and I posted a pic of my daughter with her acceptance letter. This is how we keep in touch with photos of babies, life happenings, holidays where we can’t all be together etc.

Actually my D complained just last night about classmates and friends from other schools who are posting each acceptance one at a time. She got into her ED1 school in December, and she admits that, at the moment, she’s just a little jealous of all the attention being paid to these friends. Don’t get me wrong, she’s happy for them and congratulates them, but privately admits to a little jealousy. Most of her friends haven’t heard of her school (Pomona) and just said things like: I’ve heard that’s a nice school" when she got in while falling all over themselves congratulating the classmates who got in early to Stanford, Harvard and MIT. My point is that kids and parents both seek validation. Some people cross the line into being obnoxious, but we all have different ideas of where that line is.

We’ll be going to Admitted Students Day in a few weeks, so I’m sure that will remind D why she made the right choice (and she can post a FB photo if she wants, lol).

(@annwank, I like the iCloud family album idea. I think I’ll suggest that to my extended family.)

Edited

@Corinthian, “seeking validation” is probably a better word for this than “compensating for insecurity,” though of course if someone has insecurities, they will often seek validation as a way to cope.

I agree that everyone at one time or another seeks validation. There certainly is a point where it becomes obnoxious; everyone has their own threshold of where they see it becoming so.

Once my D decides on a school, I will become “Facebook official” with it and share its name. Until that point, I’m not saying a word

I have no problem with kids and their folks posting where the kid decides to go. I like to see it and their happy faces.

Posting every little detail of where accepted and denied would be a bit much.

@Nrdsb4‌ why would you think I was insecure for merely celebrating my acceptances?