Even in terms of keeping up with high school friends post-graduation, it’s hardly necessary. Convenient, sure, but it’s being less and less used by this age group, so it’s often nothing more than a list of people who seldom update. That being said, I wouldn’t think it the place of a parent to worry if their kid is missing out by not having a Facebook, especially if it’s missing out on people he hasn’t even met yet…
(And as said above, it really usually is the same dozen or two that post on a given FB group, and depending on how big a college is, means you might not even run into them in person.)
I don’t know…maybe I just move in an odd (insecure, as one poster put it…LOL) crowd but most of my friends have posted where their kids are going to college…I mean, they’re not posting each and every acceptance (okay, one buddy is but i can forgive her because she’s just genuinely thrilled for her daughter and can’t hold back but at the end, sure. I mean, that’s how i keep up with my friends and their families…they post things like swim meets and prom pictures and debate results…seems kind of odd to then not mention that their kid is leaving home for 4+ years and here’s where they are going.
I like what some people have done before - posting one big, often post-graduation, celebratory post about everything. It usually includes 1) a small photo collage of graduation and pictures taken at college 2) announcing they have graduated 2) and will be attending XX college 3) studying/majoring in XX 4) and has received these major scholarships, if applicable (usually the big full tuition/full ride scholarships, or major outside scholarships)
This successfully encompasses a healthy amount of bragging, celebration, and life update. It doesn’t come off as obnoxious or repetitive, and is genuinely of interest to more people.
@profparent, does your son use twiter? Many teens have moved on from FB to twitter. If he doesn’t use FB, I would not create a FB page specifically for college. I’m sure that he’s not the only one without FB. My DD has a FB page but barely uses it. She definately has not linked to colleges. During the application cycle when she received the request from admission offices, she felt that it was kind of creepy and ignored the request. A newly admitted students FB group would be ok but if he doesn’t want to chat with people until school starts, I think that would be fine.
Unless I missed one, it doesn’t seem anyone here has suggested that posting where the kiddo is actually going to matriculate to is seen as bragging or being obnoxious.
@profparent same here - we are also a non FB family. I think D will have to get an account before graduating HS to be in the loop on college FB news and to keep up with HS friends.
And I guess I’ll probably get one too to keep up with her.
We are leery of posting pics online though.
I like the icloud album idea.
I posted a congratulations when my daughter got her first acceptance , but didn’t say what school. I pm’ed her favorite teacher who has been very instrumental in the process. I have since refrained from any updates ( my daughter didn’t mind when I did congratulate her )
I have a friend who is pretty braggadocious with all of her child’s acceptances and I have to admit, it is sort of annoying . I try to remember that this is her only child to attend college.
That being said , I looked at one of the FB pages for accepted students for a school that is looking more likely that my daughter will attend…a little worried about the students looking for roommates and how many of them stress that they really like to " party "
Some of my D’s Facebook friends are posting about their likely letters and invitations to visit Ivy and selective schools. The ones I saw originated from the kids. Too many such posts and the related “likes” and messages have started to proliferate.
One of my friends received an acceptance letter from a pretty good state school. She posted her acceptance to the school on Facebook - but she got immediate backlash from her relatives (yes, RELATIVES) who wanted her to attend this religious college.
Me being nosy, I read their comments and was almost offended for her I mean, just congratulate her or ignore the post - no need to bring your (rude) personal opinions about the school into this.
This is partially why I don’t write about college acceptance on facebook, haha…
This is basically what I think. I don’t want to come across as bragging nor do I want to rub salt in the wound of people who weren’t accepted.
I’m okay with my friends posting acceptances, it’s just that I won’t.
Thanks everyone for the sensible advice. None of our son’s best buddies from HS use Facebook, and most of them are already at college (he is on a gap year) so he’s been using Skype and telephone and Tumblr to keep in touch with them. It’s mostly the opportunity to connect with a potential roommate that he may be missing out on, but I’m not going to worry about it. If he doesn’t want to join Facebook just for the college connection that’s his call.
I think as long as it’s OK with the kid, then it’s OK. Family and friends are interested and might even have a favorite for which they are rooting! I love seeing family and friends chiming in with, “Yea, maybe we’ll have another Sooner (or whatever) in the family.”
I guess we are lucky that even though the kids went to a competitive academic magnet that the kids and (most) parents just aren’t that nuts about it all. In fact, each year the kids have an open FB page (though you have to know where to look) where they post their acceptances and sometime rejections. This year, a group of kids who didn’t get into one particular school took a picture of them all looking sad and drowning their sorrows in junk food. It was really funny and made me so happy that they know that it’s not the end of the world. Once they did that, others posted “That was me when I didn’t get into College X!” I would hate to live in a place where people weren’t truly delighted for each others’ good fortunes. There always are THOSE parents who are ultra-competitive, but everyone rolls their eyes at them, not the parents who truly are just happy their kids got in somewhere.
when i rarely get on facebook, it seems the parents i know always tell about making varsity, winning tournaments, making the state team, winning contests etc.
But promoting your kids academic success seems taboo and braggy. Sometimes i think that’s too bad. why does the news publicize everything about kids and their sporting abilities and scores, but its hush-hush with academics?
when graduation comes, i’ll put up a pix of S holding his tuition-free scholarship. its a cute shot when he opened the letter in the mail. our friends and relatives will know where he’s going; and only if they look closely will they see the magic “regents” word.
Only 3 parents I know of posted admissions as they came in and yes, they were the ones you expected and with schools having very high acceptance rates. Lots of parents post once the decision is made, including myself. Personally, I really enjoyed seeing where everyone’s kids would be attending… especially since most the kids I had known for many, many years. I’m not so interested in the play-by-play.
Not even kids post that much (those that are still using facebook lol.) Many will post when the FIRST acceptance comes in as sort of a “oh thank goodness, I get to go to college” type thing. Most we know wait for decisions or the tippy top choice…in general, they don’t want to rub salt into wounds of rejected friends.
I don’t really think that’s a fair statement. Along with athletic tournament wins, I see as many if not more academic tournament wins touted on Facebook - scholar’s bowl, spelling bee, science fair, etc. I don’t think it has anything do with athletics vs. academics being allowed to be bragged about, but the fact that college admissions are in a different class entirely. I think one only needs to wander into the Chance Me forums to see the different weight held with college admissions than with extracurriculars.
Our state flagship decisions came out today and I gather that the flurry of excited FB announcements prompted DS to announce his own college decision on FB. It’s now official! (the fact that I paid the deposit last week is immaterial)
I used to get annoyed by parents’ braggy FB posts, but I’ve chilled out a lot in recent years. Of course people are excited about their kids’ accomplishments, and it seems pretty natural to want to share their excitement with people they consider friends. It’s not taking anything away from me or my kids, and it doesn’t make me feel worse about my own kids’ accomplishments. I really enjoy hearing what my friends’ kids are up to, and I’m happy for them. Still, I’m pretty conservative about what I post regarding my own kids, because I know that some people do find it annoying.
My sweet, goofy 27-year-old son was so proud of his little sister. He posted her ACT score on his Facebook page last year and embarrassed the daylights out of her. He never would have bragged so shamelessly about himself, but he couldn’t contain himself when it came to his baby sister. She was beyond furious. It’s one of those fond family memories that make us smile now.
D doesn’t use Facebook but told me that the kids are using The Quad App http://www.quadapp.com/ to meet the new freshman. If your child isn’t interested in Facebook, they might want to or are using this app.
but at the end, sure. I mean, that’s how i keep up with my friends and their families…they post things like swim meets and prom pictures and debate results…seems kind of odd to then not mention that their kid is leaving home for 4+ years and here’s where they are going.
I mean, just congratulate her or ignore the post - no need to bring your (rude) personal opinions about the school into this.
I love seeing family and friends chiming in with, “Yea, maybe we’ll have another Sooner (or whatever) in the family.”