There are usually a lot of tears shed during the college application process, so in my opinion, less is more when it comes to sharing. My kids’ school discouraged students from wearing college clothing until the decision day, May 1, when most people know where they are attending.
I really haven’t seen any of my FB friends posting this kind of stuff. I’ve seen graduation pics, and some white coat ceremony pics, some sporting accomplishments, stuff like that. Nice family pictures celebrating a life event which everyone is glad to see. No one posts scores or acceptances. Yuck!
A family member did post when one of her children made his choice among the HSs he was admitted to. She may have shared it only with family, I’m not sure, but since many of us were interested and waiting to hear, it was a good way to do it. It wasn’t a brag. We all knew he didn’t get into his top 2 choices, so it was a nice way to quietly affirm that he did have the opportunity to make a selection.
On the other hand, most of my FB friends don’t have kids applying to college, and no one was on FB back when they were. I post nothing about my S. I think I’ve shared a couple of articles he’s written He’d kill me! 
With my child’s permission, we have posted acceptances as they’ve arrived. With no clear first choice school, there are lots of questions about what next year will look like. As each acceptance has been posted, it has been great to hear from facebook friends about their family/friends who have experiences at each of the schools. This has allowed us to be in touch with a wide range of people - generally one or two steps removed from us - who know the schools, giving my child other ways to evaluate and assess each program. These are all small LACs - and although the acceptances were well-deserved, I think that they reflect more on good upfront choices about where to apply, so I don’t see it as boasting (it’s not like we’ve been posting along list of reach schools/Ivies).
I was very excited when my daughter got her first letter of admission, and posted about it - I didn’t mention the name of the school, but people asked in the comments. I posted something for the next three, and then I stopped because it’s really of more interest to me than anyone else.
I think I would post about where the DD’s decide to go, but not about where they were accepted. Mostly because I know that the family we have that are in areas that the girls are looking at would be excited to know they’d be close by.
@lbad96 @Nrdsb4 why would you think I was insecure for merely celebrating my acceptances?
I don’t think anybody would think that. It’s celebrating them by telling everybody on Facebook about them that marks you out as insecure - like that you need to share it with the world. You can celebrate alone or with family and friends over a few drinks or coffees or board games or whatever, and nobody would think you’re insecure for that.
It’s not celebrating successes, but posting all acceptances on the internet that could create the impression of insecurity. Because insecurity is at the root of bragging more often than not, because you made a point of saying you haven’t had a lot brag about in the past, because in spite of saying you don’t care what people think, you are clearly looking for outside validation rather than feeling the internal good stuff which comes from achieving goals, by announcing your achievements to others on the internet. I think that gives that impression. What’s actually going on inside, don’t know and don’t really have much invested in knowing what is. Just casually opining on a forum.
@Nrdsb4 @ChuoShinkansen not looking for any outside validation whatsoever. I just decide to post it to post it tbh. I don’t think any more or less of people who post all their acceptances. but if you post your rejections, then THAT’S insecurity - you want others to feel sorry for you.
And about not having a lot to brag about: I meant that I hadn’t really done much throughout high school (except hanging with friends downtown occasionally), not as an indictment of my own life.
@lbad96 “@Nrdsb4 @ChuoShinkansen not looking for any outside validation whatsoever. I just decide to post it to post it tbh. I don’t think any more or less of people who post all their acceptances. but if you post your rejections, then THAT’S insecurity - you want others to feel sorry for you.”
Strongly disagree! Someone who posts both acceptances and rejections may (not always) show much more security than someone who posts only the former. They might want people to feel sorry for them, or they might be able to admit that they have failed at something and been rejected, which takes a bit of security.
I posted D’s first acceptance We were a little surprised because it was her reach and I was caught up in the moment and got a little excited. A month or so later, she received another surprising acceptance and I posted that “I think I am more surprised than D”! She received 2 other acceptances, but I didn’t post about those.
I have a friend who posted a picture of her D every time she received one of the 10 acceptances since December 2014. Then last week i saw pictures of them visiting a certain college and one of the pictures was various school shirts, sweatshirts, decals, you name it. I guess that was their way of telling everyone what college her daughter chose.
I didn’t announce on Facebook where my D will be going since I’ve sent in her deposit already, but have told verbally to our close family.
I figure I’ll be that mom who posts where she will be going in August when we are moving her in.
BTW - I love the idea of wearing your school t-shirt on May 1.
EDIT TO ADD: D doesn’t mind me posting on Facebook, the kids barely use Facebook since “you old people” took it over.
One point about this–this isn’t universal by any means, but it is my observation that a lot of parents limit their Facebook friends to people who actually are friends and family–in other words, people with whom one would naturally share good news. A lot of young people, on the other hand, have hundreds and hundreds of Facebook friends, include classmates and peers who aren’t exactly real-life friends and family. Again, these distinctions aren’t universal, but they may factor into the difference between sharing news and bragging.
Personally, I wouldn’t post acceptances, but I would probably post where they are going–as well as other good news. If one of my kids gets engaged, I may well post that, because my Facebook friends will be interested to know and will be happy–even though some of them have kids who aren’t married, or who are divorced, etc.
Hey, @Ibad96, I’ve read many of your posts and you don’t come across as insecure. You come across as a basically happy and accepting person doing his best and without ridiculous criteria by which you hold yourself or others. Your people already know how secure or insecure you are, regardless of posting or not posting your acceptances on FB or wherever. Some people are open and sharing (you), and some are more private. Keep on posting, and share your joy. If someone doesn’t like it they will either keep scrolling or pick a fight with you. ;p But really, such postings say more about them than about you.
“but it is my observation that a lot of parents limit their Facebook friends to people who actually are friends and family–in other words, people with whom one would naturally share good news. A lot of young people, on the other hand, have hundreds and hundreds of Facebook friends, include classmates and peers who aren’t exactly real-life friends and family.”
^^@Hunt has nailed this. Know your audience.
In our circle, we all do like to celebrate our friends’ families successes, and these can be small ones, like doing well in the middle school band concert, not just Ivy League acceptances. However, you’ve got to respect your kid and respect your friends. We didn’t post every acceptance and rejection with our oldest.
My question is sort of the opposite issue of this thread, but still about Facebook. Everyone in our family hates Facebook and doesn’t use it. But now I’m worrying that our son will miss out on connecting with the other newly admitted students (meeting possible roommates, etc.) if he doesn’t create a Facebook account and join the Facebook page for the college he eventually chooses. Am I right to worry about this?
@profparent No. Having been on my college’s group for months now myself, he isn’t missing anything. He’ll meet people in the same way college kids have always met each other - in person. No need to make this something else to worry about.
^ However, FB would probably be nice for staying in touch with high school friends and acquaintances when he leaves…
At my kids’ college, Facebook is used a lot to schedule and publicize events. If that’s the case where profparent’s kid goes, he might as well get started, at least once he knows where he’s going.
@profparent - my kids enjoyed ‘meeting’ other future classmates via FB the summer before freshman year. For them, it was a plus and it was also a way to stay focused,in a positive way, on the next stage in their life. Was it necessary? No, but it was fun for them.
That said, I think it’s a bigger deal at some schools vs other schools. My youngest will be at West Point and the new cadets are having a grand old time chatting with each other on FB. One of my daughters went to a local in state private school and that FB page wasn’t nearly as active.
@profparent - Honestly, I think it can better NOT to be on the facebook page. A lot of the college class pages are the same couple dozen or so kids repeatedly posting and doesn’t always reflect the class/school. My kids have always preferred to meet folks in person once getting to the school and haven’t participated in their respective class facebook pages.
My Ds rarely post on Facebook anymore. It’s Instagram for the most part. I never did post much on Facebook. I think I only made two posts ever, now that I think about it.
In my experience, many adults are worse than their kids ever were about trying to garner hundreds of friends who really are not that close. Maybe it’s regional.