I would never share my kids’ exact SAT scores, even if asked directly, and certainly not on FB. If people asked, I’d say something like he was really happy with them. If they continued to press, I’d eventually say something a little obnoxious to match their obnoxiousness. 
Whether one thinks it’s “awesome!” or whether one thinks it’s tacky or boastful to post all acceptances vs. the chosen school, I don’t see how posting an opinion about it on this thread is a shocking example that anyone is “so invested in what others post.” It’s just an opinion, no more invested than commenting on whether one prefers Costco to Walmart or whether one believes Gaga hit it out of the ballpark or stunk it up at the Oscars, both of which have been covered recently in the Cafe. It’s just a bunch of people opining on a message board.
Better to post about actual acceptances instead of the receipt of an application! I had one friend who posted a picture of her ds this fall holding an envelope from MIT which she captioned, “This is the one he has been waiting for!!!” Of course, many people thought that meant he had been accepted. She did clarify that no, it was just an application but that it was so nice to be “singled out like that.” 
Kid did NOT have the test scores to get in there AT ALL. Hadn’t taken any subject tests - wasn’t even aware of them. No hooks, no exceptional ECs. Just a nice kid who likes math but not MIT material.
^^^Those kinds of things make me cringe.
Someone should write a manual: " Ms. Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Facebook Bragging"
My comment was not directed towards any one person. For some here to describe what a FB friend has posted and how it made them feel, then to imply there is a right or wrong way to post suggests some level of investment. That’s my opinion.
Well, I hope that’s the distinction between a HS student a parent.
Well, I hope that’s the distinction between a HS student a parent.
Pomona is a top flight school–period.
Of course not! We’re number one!
This discussion is about manners, which always creates some difficulties. First, what is polite is not the same in every culture, or in every subculture. But (and I think this is a point Miss Manners makes), manners are always somewhat arbitrary. If something is polite (or impolite) in a particular culture, you can’t unilaterally change that just because you think the rule doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s like driving on the right in the US and on the left in the UK. It’s a rule that is designed to help people get along together.
Now, I think it’s fair to say that in most of the United States, it is seen as impolite to be excessively boastful. It’s not so easy to draw the line, because it’s OK to share good news, and even to brag somewhat. Just not too much. How do you know how much is too much? Well, this thread tells you, in the specific context. It’s OK to post on Facebook where your kid is going to college, and probably OK to post “now we know he’s going to college somewhere” when he gets his first acceptance. It’s not really OK to post each acceptance as it comes in, especially to a large group of hundreds of people. And we know this because it is the central tendency of the comments on this thread–it may be arbitrary, but that’s how manners work.
Making sure everyone has seen this:
@Youdon’tsay, that is hilarious.
Yes, and I’m too chicken to post it on FB lest some of my mom friends who fall into one/several of the categories gets offended!
That is perfect, YDS!!! Love love LOVE it!
I just came to post that same link @youdon’tsay
Personally I have a little of all those moms in me but I definitely aspire to Empty Nest Enthusiast Mom and Keeping it Real Mom. And I also refrained from posting that link on FB!
Empty Nest Mom goes hard.
@youdon’tsay – that link made me smile at 7:00 a.m --straight up bragging mom/grandma
It is fine, particularly if they are proud. Besides, it’s supposed to be between friends, so what is the problem with sharing? However, I would not condone shaming kids on FB.
A fb friend of mine posted each acceptance “accepted to Podunk U - neurobiology department!!” On and on it went, more than a dozen acceptances - nothing very reachy but decent schools. Interspersed with the acceptances were multiple fb posts about daughter becoming the first doctor in the family and making a recently deceased aunt so proud. Well it all proved to be way too much pressure on the kid - she crashed and burned and didn’t make it to sophomore year. Of course not a peep out of the mom, she likes to have tight control over the image she portrays to the public and having a kid flunk out of college just doesn’t fit her narrative. Now she’s moved on to kid #2 and posting about his greatness…the mom just comes off as so very needy of praise.
I have one FB group that I share every, single, little detail of the college admissions process with. But I don’t share much about my daughter on my public page…mainly because she would probably unfriend and disown me if I started posting about things that she considers to be her business not mine.