My son is a junior and with area schools on Spring Break last week, I saw something I hadn’t seen before on Facebook - parents posting pictures from the campus tours they were taking at places like Yale and Brown. I guess that’s a way to telegraph your kids’ prospects, but it definitely glosses over the reality that anyone can sign up to take a tour at any school. While I have no problem with people posing about their kids’ acceptances - though I prefer they actually only post about where they’re going - I thought it was too much to be posting about tours.
How is posting about college tours any worse than posting a picture of yourself in Europe or Hawaii? All of my friends ask me where my son is looking (for the record he could try for elites but he is not choosing to do it). It is one of the first things they ask me when I see them. We didn’t post pictures because we are too busy looking to take pictures but a lot of people do and I see zero wrong with it.
Yesterday a kid who we were all worried would not get into one school posted his second acceptance letter. We are all ECSTATIC for that kid. He has choices between two schools that people on this forum would consider safeties or tier 3.
Maybe you who are bothered aren’t really friends with your Facebook friends and are just acquaintances? If you don’t care about where they spent their Spring Break or where their kid is looking to go to school, why not unfriend them?
I get not posting acceptances to lottery schools since that might hurt the other kids’ feelings who had an equal shot but not being able to talk about where you looked? These are your friends.
When your only vacations are for college tours, that’s all ya got to post 
What really thrills me is that StraightUpBraggingMom is revealing her low SES status by saying her dd got a full ride. And Yale doesn’t have ED. Get it right, lady!
^^^I noticed the “full ride at Yale” thing as well. I often hear people say their kid or someone they know has gotten a “full scholarship” or “athletic scholarship” at Ivies.
Those of us whose vacations are college tours are not swapping out Hawaiian vacations we are swapping out vacations based around the kid’s sports tournaments. Who DOESN’T want to go to Scottsdale for MLK weekend!? The lucky few can go to the Head of the Charles and dovetail that with a few visits.
D1 was touring schools in Boston during spring break. They got snowed in and couldn’t return until 2 or 3 days after they were supposed to be home.
I will sometimes post good news about my D and will put up links to her blog on FB so that others can “like” it (those likes/views are very important in blog world). Most of the time, I do not mention her by name (tag her) which means that it does not show up on her FB page, only mine. But since I only have one kid, my FB friends know who I am talking about.
I agree with the fact that most of my FB friends are family or close friends in my generation who have kids. I see posts about sports, academic awards, new babies, engagements, weddings, etc. It is a great way to share our joyful moments when our kids shine and very seldom do I think the posts are boastful. We also post when people pass away, pray for those parents who have kids who are suffering from diseases and cancer, or rally around people when there is a family tragedy.
My D says that FB is for old folk and very seldom does she use it except for a picture every once in awhile to make me happy. Their medium of choice appears to be SnapChat.
I totally disagree with this. When my D was first admitted, the admitted students’ FB page was very active and it was an adventure looking through the posts and “meeting” her future classmates. Some of the student counselors moderated the sits and it was a great place to ask questions and get an almost instant answer. Some of the questions were hilarious. After the first few weeks, it died down and now of course since she is actually at school, there is no need for it at all. It was kind of fun for her to put actual faces to FB friends when she got to campus last fall.
Then your experience was different. That’s fine. My college’s group is active, and the posts are amusing. I’ve “friended” future classmates already, but would I recommend it? Not really. Current students do moderate it and answer questions, but they’re the same questions that can be found on the website. For someone not on Facebook already (and who hasn’t expressed interest in creating one, but whose parent is the one worrying about it), I’d still say that he isn’t missing anything.
@alcibiade “It is fine, particularly if they are proud. Besides, it’s supposed to be between friends, so what is the problem with sharing?”
I guess the problem is you could say the same thing about any achievement. That’s certainly how I felt at the bar when I was telling my friends and acquaintances about the new promotion I just got, and how the extra money will allow me to to take a month long vacation to Hawaii. Sure some of them went for the same promotion and now I’m their boss, but they should be pleased for me! I don’t know why they got so upset when I started showing them pictures of the yacht.
@ChuoShinkansen, it does depend to a degree on how you do it, like you don’t want to wipe people’s face in it. But jealousy and envy are aroused with success - it’s part of the human deal. That kind of negativity is unavoidable. So, if you don’t like the achievements of others, tough luck until you do better yourself.
From what I am seeing kids are photographing their acceptance / merit letters and posting those. They are getting “likes” in the hundreds so it doesn’t seem to be a problem. In my circle I haven’t seen flaunting, just genuine excitement about acceptances to well thought out choices where any friend or “friend” couldn’t help but be happy for them. Maybe it helps that out here in the NW Corner so many of the schools are so far away that there is more diversity of target schools. Outside of the state flagship there might be very little overlap between kids.
Here’s the unspoken but well accepted etiquette at my kids school: You can’t post your own acceptances unless you have decided to actually go to that school. Acceptances are posted by friends in the form of " Congrats to my friend Smarty McSmartypants on getting into Reach School" or " Congrats to my friend Average Josephine for getting into her dream school State U." Siblings can also make these posts. Parents cant make these posts but can like these posts comment on the siblings post ( but not the friends posts…those they can only like ). The student however can make a “X university Class Of 2019!!!” post.
Jara, that is a remarkably precise, carefully delineated set of Facebook etiquette codes. I’m particularly struck by the careful deflection of self-promotion by friends and siblings (but not parents) making most of the posts. The entire system belongs in Miss Manners!
And the idea that kids don’t use FB at all isn’t true here. As a matter of fact college acceptances is one area where it’s widely used by kids where I live. Other than that it’s used sparingly on comparison to a few years ago but is still used for
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" work" meaning classroom groups who share info about homework and tests …not cheating or anything more like what’s due when and links to quizlet. Also extracurricular stuff like meeting times and discussions about fundraising
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posting pictures after vacations and school dances.
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college acceptances as outlined above
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posting your senior picture which always draws hundreds of likes. Even if the kid isn’t particularly popular. Etiquette seems to that you like that pic if you have occasion to actually speak to the kid ( they are in a class with you or an extracurricular etc…)
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kids also seem to use it to communicate with kids they don’t know well but have " business" with. For example, my daughter is Editor of the Yearbook of she used FB messaging to get in touch with the kids who won senior superlative’s and set up the times for the picture to be taken.
Yep - that’s what I see as well
Based on D’s friends, it seems as though changing your profile picture to one that shows you standing in front of college landmark/sign is another socially-acceptable way of saying “I’m going here!”
The point is that discretion is necessary. There would be some people who would be delighted to see a picture of your new baby, but not so much a picture of your new yacht.
Or you actually “having” the new baby . . .