<p>I know he’s your son, but I’m going to go out on a short limb and disagree with you and say that he does not hate school. First of all, that’s like saying he hates religion. Sure, there are things about school (or religion) that people may hate. But it’s not school itself – or in its entirety – that he hates.</p>
<p>We know this much because he shows up to school. He’s on “strike,” as you say, but he hasn’t quit, has he? People quit jobs that they hate. They go on strike when they want to keep their job but make it more palatable. I think you’re right when you say that he’s on strike. And that’s why we know he doesn’t hate school.</p>
<p>So this is where you need to be – or find – a diagnostician. What is it about school that he hates? If he’s on “strike” (and I believe that you used an apt term if ever there was one for this kind of apathy), what are his demands?</p>
<p>He probably doesn’t know what they are. He probably doesn’t even realize he’s on strike. He’s just “checking out” from the system because so much about school is just utterly ridiculous. From the homework – which is just pointless for a kid who performs well on his tests – to the class discussions. If he’s doing well on tests, then all of those things come across to him like needless busy work. Having independently attained the end they’re designed to produce, he has no use for the trials and tribulations of homework and class discussions. Other kids may need to engage in those tasks in order to acquire knowledge, but not your son. You’ve got to give him credit for having that much self-awareness!</p>
<p>And that’s the part where a total stranger like me KNOWS that he doesn’t hate school. You’ve described a kid who’s still engaged enough to show people that he’s got the right stuff. If he fully hated school and had “quit” instead of gone “on strike,” he wouldn’t bubble in those standardized tests, would he? Yet he’s bubbling away – and, as he does so, he’s screaming out to you and his teachers that this is all a piece of cake and he doesn’t need to go through the same boring, tedious route to acquire knowledge that most of his peers need to follow.</p>
<p>So, what activities engage him? What does he do – in or out of school – that captures his imagination, holds his interest, and/or stokes his intellectual curiosity? Keep steering him in those directions.</p>
<p>He’s probably tired of being penalized and reprimanded for knowing the material so well that he doesn’t need to follow the path that’s been laid out for most kids. It doesn’t make sense to him. Here he is, bright as a button and the teachers are on his case! What’s up with that? If you think about it, that’s got to really suck for a young teen. Here he is, understanding everything he’s being asked to understand and getting zinged and dinged and treated as an pain in the butt (which, no doubt, he is at times) just because he’s not complying with the process for understanding everything he’s being asked to understand.</p>
<p>The really sad part is that – if I’m describing him correctly – he’s very typical and educators should recognize what’s going on and work with him as vigorously as they do with other students who have special needs. Too many educators, however, interpret his attitude as confrontational and rebellious. If it come so easy to him, then his failure to keep up his assignments must be a personal insult or intentional disobedience. So his teachers are probably battling him instead of helping him. And that sure isn’t helping to change his attitude, is it?</p>
<p>Read those books suggested early on in this thread. And, then find a learning environment for him that isn’t so anal retentive about the process of learning BUT instills in him the mental discipline and social skills needed to play by the rules later on so that he doesn’t go through life screwing himself over and over again. He needs to be in a place where he’s allowed to bend without making the teachers have conniption fits. He also needs to be in a place where he will learn that the world is not for him to bend as he pleases. </p>
<p>I think there are plenty of great schools out there that would appreciate a student like him and help him grow and mature and learn to love learning again. As a parent, be a zealous advocate for him and get his teachers clued into what’s going on and get them to give him the extra attention he needs. </p>
<p>If his current school hasn’t yet zeroed in on what’s happening, you’re the only person in your child’s life who can play this role for him. Make sure the school develops an understanding that smart kids can require extra attention, too. And, in the meantime, start searching for the kind of academic setting where your son is not an aberration; a place where’s he another typical bright child who needs help developing an appreciation for the process of learning.</p>
<p>That’s why I think a boarding school might work for him. If he’s in a community where there’s so much interdependence weaving through the daily life of the school, I bet he’ll be more likely to learn the value of doing things that aren’t so thrilling for him personally, but are worth doing anyway because they lift up the larger community. If he’s living with students, he’ll be more likely – just for example – to see that his participation in class will make the class better off, even if he personally isn’t getting much out of a particular discussion. </p>
<p>He’ll pick up on these little things when some kid on his hall changes his laundry over to the dryer before the wash mildews on your son. A boarding school is likely to present challenges for your son outside of academics where he’ll see that he’s not an island. (At least not a self-sufficient one.) And when he leans on people and they prop him up in areas where he’s not so strong, he’ll see why it makes sense to come to class prepared and ready to discuss the material even though it’s a breeze for him.</p>