<p>Let me start off first by introducing myself as a senior in high school. As with most, I only have a few months left until my first day of college. I've actually taken to wondering lately about how parents feel in regards to preparing their children for the application/admissions process. For instance, my parents are approximately lower-middle class, so we've never really been able to afford tutors (for normal academic classes, SAT/ACT prep, or admissions essay editing). Though I've learned a great deal through brute force - just trying as hard as I can - I wonder how different my life could be (make that my admissions life as of this point in time) had I received that additional assistance early on in my high school career. I have friends at school who, I would say, share an equivalent (to an extent) economic level (though I don't wish to point fingers or assume), however their parents still manage to "purchase" the aid of the tutors anyway - usually because of their desire to see their child in a top school, meaning that they will spend as much money as necessary.</p>
<p>That brings me to the purpose for this thread. Depending on your financial capabilities, do you find yourself leaning towards preparing your student by paying for tutors/etc (as mentioned above) or just hoping that s/he will be able to cope and learn despite any hardships in class? Do you think that even if you are low income (approx. upper-lower class to lower-mid-range middle class), it's worth it to spend money for this (even at the expense of possibly thousands of dollars that you'll need to repay, either now or through loans, etc)?</p>
<p>First off, good luck on getting your college admissions notices soon, if you have not already heard. </p>
<p>My husband and I were both first generation college students. We were both lower to lower-middle class. Our parents definitely wanted the best for us, as all parents want for their children. However, neither of us received any guidance or special assistance to get into college (or grad school for that matter). However, I STRONGLY believe that if a person is persistant in pursuing their dream and is willing to perserve despite any odds, they will achieve their dreams in a matter of time, regardless of the college they attend.</p>
<p>My husband and I are both PhDs and well known in our fields with very satisfying jobs. As our son enters into the college application journey, he will benefit more from our know-how than our finances. Although we could afford it, I do not intend to spend extra money for tutors. I am not concerned about his getting into an Ivy league school. I am concerned that he do the research to find a school that has a high quality program in the area he wishes to explore. I am more concerned that the program and training at a particular school is well-regarded among professionals in the field than the overall reputation of the school. He is starting early (sophomore), following Xiggi’s and Siverturtle’s advice on SAT prep, reading books and taking the practice tests, checking in with his teachers at school for anything we are unsure of, meeting with the admissions officer at my college for admissions advice, and looking at the common app to get all his ducks in a row and boxes checked while we have time. So, I don’t feel the need to spend any extra money.</p>
<p>Perhaps when he has kids, he will do with his kids all we are doing, plus tutors! We’ll see.</p>
<p>We could have afforded to spend on any/all of the above had we chosen to do so.</p>
<p>Our S was a very good student, although not a “top” student. It didn’t look like he was headed to a “top” school and we didn’t create an atmosphere that made that important (I had gone to “top” schools for undergrad and grad myself, but so what?). He did apply to one of the HYPSM… didn’t get in.</p>
<p>Back to your question - we spent ZERO on essay help, tutors to groom him for “top” schools. When his first SAT scores were low for the type of student he was (this kid has always underperformed on standardized tests) we spent a very modest amount on a prep class offered at his school. Didn’t end up changing much, lol.</p>
<p>Bottom line, I don’t think your life would be different in a positive way had parents spent money on these things. Realize that also lives can be different in a negative way if $$ spent on such assistance go along with pressure and expression of disappointment if a kid does not have parent-defined success in acceptance to a particular school/set of schools.</p>
<p>And… to borrow money for such help… that’s a special form of insanity in my opinion.</p>
<p>I agree 100% with that. I believe finding some sort of support for the child if absolutely necessary is worthwhile. However, too much can fall into spoiling and possibly even “doing too much.” Though I don’t want to speak for parents’ habits and such because they can have their own reasons for doing so.</p>
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<p>True. I was hoping to avoid allowing personal bias into the OP, but I made a mistake by leaving out that crucial idea. Yes, I believe there is an option where parents, who are capable of (and willing to), work alongside their child. However, I did not have that option. </p>
<p>A quick background: my family’s primary academic weakness is math. Neither of my parents studied much math after high school (with the exception of my father when he went to college, but again, it wasn’t much). In that case, I was left to figure things out on my own. It wasn’t their choice not to help me; they just weren’t capable of providing assistance for that.</p>
<p>That’s mainly why I was inspired to ask this question. It’s interesting to get a glimpse of the entire spectrum. I have seen friends whose parents are willing to go all out in the hopes of securing a successful future for their child, even if it is at a detriment to themselves.</p>
<p>We never paid for tutors. We did pay for each kid to take a cheap SAT prep course (around $250) offered by our school system in the summer session.</p>
<p>Where I think I helped most was by finding out about the admissions process earlier than the kids would have on their own and discussing things with them. For example (and it’s not just an example – it’s one of my pet peeves), our school system didn’t discuss college admissions and standardized testing with the kids until junior year, but that’s too late for kids who should be taking SAT Subject Tests as freshman or sophomores. With each of my kids, there were conversations at home about Subject Tests long before the school ever brought up the topic.</p>
<p>I’m a first gen college graduate raised in a very blue collar household. My wife did a fantastic job of forming our children’s inquisitive minds so they were self motivated to learn. We never paid for tutors or SAT prep.</p>