<p>I need the kind of advice only a parent can give (and perhaps only a parent can appreciate the question). My son was admitted to U of Chi, JHU, and every Ivy except Princeton. He seems happy with the choice he made, but I have a lingering disappointment because PU was my hope for him. Should I have written to Admissions to ask why PU saw his application in a different light? Or would such have been futile and in bad form? I sincerely thought his PU app was his strongest. I’d be grateful for your thoughts.</p>
<p>I can understand your frustration with not knowing what one thing made the difference given his other results, but there is no way they are going to give you a satisfying answer, other than to politely say they had to turn away many great candidates. Your guidance counselor might have a little bit better luck (not necessarily), if they were willing to make a call, but probably the response still would be vague. In the end, you are never going to have the complete answer you seek (in part because sometimes it is just a matter of where the dart lands) and it would be better to move on.</p>
<p>How would it look if a parent wants to know why their child did not get accepted? Will you ask his supervisor 9when he gets into the workforce) why he did not get the promotion? Time to let go and move on and become overly enthusiastic about your son’s successes!!!</p>
<p>If it helps you process it all, call them. Not that they will tell you anything, but it won’t hurt. The most important thing will be your enthusiasm for your son’s path, even if it wasn’t your choice. So do whatever you need to do to work through it. You love him, he’s wonderful, it will be fine!</p>
<p>Good advice and thanks to all. I won’t make contact. I do genuinely support my son’s choice and think he made the right one. “Time to let go and move on and become overly enthusiastic about your son’s successes!!!” BTW to become ‘overly’ enthusiastic would be the kind of mistake you warn against,. In any case, I saw this as PU’s failure, not my son’s.</p>
<p>My son will be a senior at Princeton next year ( where did the time go??!!!) As a parent from CA, we have definitely been challenged with how many trips home were workable. When our son was a freshman, he participated in the outdoor action ( HIGHLY RECOMMENDED). We sent him off from CA to outdoor action alone, and then showed up the day he arrived back to help him move in the dorms. This worked great for our family. Our experience was that the kids did not arrive back from their trips until late in the afternoon at the earliest, our son did not get back until after 6 p.m. We had spent that day taking a tour of the campus ( my third) and wandering the streets of Princeton. We stayed for the weekend, and left when we were told to, and I would recommend this also. Even though it was the most difficult thing I had ever done, I knew it was time for our son to start his acclimation to Princeton sooner rather than later.
In terms of trips home to CA, it’s been winter break and occasionally the fall break. I have traveled back to Princeton to spend Thanksgiving break with him, which was been terrific. We have spent the holiday in New York, and also Philly ( alot less expensive, and many historically significant sites). Also, I have traveled back to Princeton to visit for Parents Weekend for freshman year, as well as over my spring break. I found that I had much more interest in visiting Princeton, than my son had for coming home.
Hope this information helps. If anyone has any specific questions for a long distance parent who is nearing the “end” of the Princeton experience, I am happy to answer.</p>
<p>When will the dorm be closed after finals, Sat or Sun?</p>
<p>The move out deadline for undergrads is Saturday, May 21, at noon.</p>
<p>Did you or your son consider that by applying to ALL the Ivies, you would be doing a disservice to other kids by limiting their opportunities to be accepted? How about adopting a strategy that you and your son would review the different Ivy schools and pick the two or three best choices for him and then apply only to those? We have kids in our school who routinely apply to all 8 Ivies knowing that they will only be attending our state school. It is all for show. I personally think it stinks. (By the way, all of my kids attended Ivy League schools for both undergrad and grad school so this isn’t sour grapes.)</p>
<p>First a general question, do out-of-state students generally book their trips home (assuming they’re making them) on the day exams end (or move-out day)?</p>
<p>@dogwalker,
I think a problem with that philosophy is that, although it may seem considerate and altruistic, it could end up disadvantaging its practitioners. You can’t just apply to the schools you like the most, you quite possibly won’t get in. I’d much rather cover my bases. It has been argued that this sort of approach perpetuates all that’s wrong with college admissions today (the stress, the competitiveness, the cutthroat pressure), but that’s the game we have to play (to use a less-than-comfortable metaphor).
For me personally, I couldn’t just apply to State schools, I wouldn’t qualify for funding as an international. And if you then suppose that I should have just settled for a school in my home country (as it looked likely I’d have to), I’ll point out that had I not taken a risk, I’d have missed out. Big Time.
I also think that the people who apply “just for show” probably don’t get in. I suspect it’s not usual to get into an ivy-league school by fluke. Even, however, if they do, note that schools always accept more students than they have place for, because nobody has a perfect yield (though Harvard comes damn close 
), and if spots are still open, schools resort to their wait-lists. So if your argument holds, then it seems, despite the pessimism around, that the people who are good enough to be at these schools, are still likely to end up being at them.
I don’t know, maybe this is misguided, but I think it’s understandable why the current college admissions system, with its trends and features, is as it is.</p>
<p>Oh, and sorry to be intruding on the “Parents Thread”… ;)</p>
<p>I understand that being an International applicant might pose a different set of problems. However, there are huge differences among the Ivy League schools so unless a person is desperately trying to go to an Ivy League school for prestige purposes regardless of which school it ends up being, or is trying to boost his ego or his parents’ ego by getting into all of them, there is really no good reason to eliminate a few of the schools and be selective in the application process. This is not about gathering notches on one’s admission belt. It is about trying to get into the best school that you can get into without screwing up other kids’ changes. There is a big difference between Penn and Dartmouth; between Harvard- Princeton-Yale and Cornell. They are not fungible unless all you are looking for is some Ivy regardless of what form it comes in. As for the kids who apply to all 8 and regardless go to the state school, that appears to be a phenomenon limited to certain ethnic groups–Asian in particular, at least that is the way it is in our state.</p>
<p>I have to agree with Dogwalker. I don’t understand applying to all of them, since they are so different. It’s expensive and unless you know you really WANT to go to all of them, then why apply? I guess some people expect if they apply to all they will get into at least one. </p>
<p>My son applied only to schools he really wanted to go to with a few caveats. One school he applied to because of the possibility of full-ride. Didn’t get it, but got accepted and chose not to go. Applied to top 20 school at advice of his GC, didn’t get in (only rejection) probably because it really wasn’t what he was looking for and they could somehow tell in the application. He would have really been happy at all the ones he was accepted to, which is why he applied to them. </p>
<p>Apply for the program and the fit, not the name and perceived prestige.</p>
<p>I understand what you guys mean.
I don’t for an instant think that people should apply anywhere simply to “[gather] notches on [their] admissions belt”, even if I do think students should cast wide nets (to mix metaphors horribly 
). It seems you can’t count on getting into your first choice as much as your parents used to (or at least used to be tempted to). Perhaps then, it would make more sense to advocate that applicants apply to *more “fit” schools<a href=“and%20intensify%20the%20search%20for%20schools%20that%20would%20fit%20them”>/i</a> rather than just *more Ivies<a href=“or%20US%20News%20top-10%20schools,%20for%20argument’s%20sake”>/i</a> per se?</p>
<p>I’m going to bump this thread. Lots of great move-in advice on every page until the last one where the thread got a bit hijacked off the original focus. So for any parents of new freshmen, read the beginning of the thread it will help answer a lot of questions. I know it helped me!</p>
<p>Hi I’m new here. A parent of an international student. Would appreciate some advice, especially as this is the first time for us. First kid going to college in the US.</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Apart from clothes, linen (ordered online) is there anything else my son will need in his dorm? I am planning to buy his winter clothing from somewhere close to NJ itself. We are from a warm country so I have to plan this carefully. Light jacket, raincoat, heavy jacket, winter shoes, woolen cap etc. (anything else I have missed out?)</p></li>
<li><p>Will I be able to visit his dorm before Sep 10th - to have a look and make an assessment of space etc. My son will be in Forbes College. He has one room mate (not contacted yet) who will be attending OA. My son will be coming in directly for registration.</p></li>
<li><p>Even if he is not allowed to stay in the dorm before registration, can he drop off some luggage etc. in his room?</p></li>
<li><p>Will he need a bike?</p></li>
</ul>
<p>We are arriving a few days before the the 10th and my husband will go back earlier due to work commitments. I am getting a bit nervous about getting him to move in on my own.</p>
<p>The OA kids do get to check into their rooms before 9/10 to drop off luggage, so yes, you can get a look at it and make a space assessment, but that’s it. You can’t move any furniture or appliances in until 9/10 but you can definitely start planning.</p>
<p>My D does not have a bike, but many kids do. The campus is fairly small.</p>
<p>As for clothes, we comes from a warm place as well. It rains a lot as well as snows, so D ended up needing rain boots (the ground gets very muddy!), boots, a down jacket, rain coat, scarves, and a wool cap. She ends up wearing layers because it’s so cold outside but then warm in class.</p>
<p>You can PM me if you have any other questions!</p>
<p>If he’s not attending international pre-orientation or OA, he probably won’t have ANY access to his room until September 10th. (Although it wouldn’t hurt to ask, especially because he’s international).</p>
<p>If your child is an engineer, and will be taking classes in the E-Quad, he will want a bike to get there from Forbes. Otherwise, walking is fine. BTW, I’d have your kid order his cold-weather stuff online once he gets here. If you get him a credit card he will be able to do that and probably will actually wear what he purchases:).</p>
<p>Thanks for all the inputs, mrscollege, stlkarategal.
Alumother, yes he will be going for engineering, so we will look into the options for bikes once we are there.
About being able to see his room I will try and call them today.</p>
<p>Thanks about the information on the raincoat. I hadn’t factored that in. </p>
<p>My son has been in touch with his roommate and I hope we can figure out the common things they need. I hope to identify and purchase the items before my husband leaves, so that on the 10th, my son and I are able to manage the process as smoothly as possible.</p>
<p>How important is it to have locks on his belongings? He is not used to doing it and is likely to forget.</p>