<p>I remember this one girl at my high school who had a TWIN who went to private school. </p>
<p>I remember thinking that was just about the weirdest thing I could imagine. Like, what kind of weird family does that? </p>
<p>Not really related to your post, but it reminded me of it. </p>
<p>I went to good public schools for both high school and university. There were a lot of kids that went to private school for high school and then went to my university. Didn’t do them any good. There’s people where I work that went to private colleges. That didn’t do them any good either. </p>
Actually, it is related. Those parents probably felt they picked the schools that fit best. Or maybe they wanted the girls separated and that was the only way to achieve it. Around here, many many families either go private or go public, so a mixed choice (like ours) is a little more unusual. </p>
<p>I have friends who have gone public for one child and private for another, based on their needs. The one in public was an academic star. The one who eventually went private needed a different setting, and things eventually turned out well for him, also.</p>
<p>Actually, the same pattern can be seen with a relative’s kids in Chicago. One kid is attending a (IMHO so-so) private in the suburbs. That was his best option. The other got into a couple of the good public magnet schools, and plans to start at one that is way more academically challenging and diverse in its offerings than the suburban private in the fall.</p>
<p>While you’re most probably right that there was no great benefit, one really can’t be sure. It may be that if they had not gone, they might have had a less satisfactory outcome. </p>
<p>I had a friend who sent her oldest off to private school - they were very happy with it and would have been more than happy to have kid two go there, but he was very much into theater and dance and felt the public school offered him more opportunities. They both did fine - one went to U of Chicago the other to Northwestern.</p>
<p>Maybe. But how much does all this cost? 13 years of private K-12 at 15K a year, and then 4 years of private undergrad at 50K a year is 380K. Are they going to end up 380K better off than the guy who went to public school? I’m skeptical. If someone’s gonna go from an affluent family to drug addict or homeless alcoholic they’re gonna do that regardless of whether or not they went to private school or public. If they’re gonna work at McDonalds or in an Office, they’re gonna do that regardless of whether or not they went to private or public school. </p>
<p>Imagine if that money had just been put away into investments. That could be 800K. A person can live most of their life on that. </p>
<p>Around here, at the high school level, academically elite private schools are over $30,000 per year. Catholic private high schools (some academically elite, others not) are considerably lower priced.</p>
<p>Personally, I think there are a lot worse investments than a good education. Public school education is an investment too . . . just one we all share collectively. </p>
<p>As a private high-school student currently, I can definitely attest to the cockiness that my fellow classmates and I have. There’s definitely a superiority complex between us and the public-school kids, but I guess I should also point out one other thing: There’s nothing to suggest that going to a private high-school will get you into a better college. Actually, I’d say exactly the opposite in my school’s case.</p>
<p>However, the level of education, and at my school the expectation, is much higher in my experience. It does warrant some cockiness. My friends in public school deal with much less “stress” and real-world preparation in terms of how they have to act in class. My behavioral expectations, grade expectations, and effort/studying expectations are much higher. The top 40 kids at my school all would’ve been top five (out of total students) at competitive high schools on Long Island, and the top 100 all could have easily been top 5-10% at competitive high schools.</p>
<p>If I had to honestly guess why his friend was being such a jerk, it’s because he probably feels insecure about his own chances of getting into a top college and wants to make other people feel insecure about themselves to rationalize it. I know that I get jealous of my friends who put in less work at public school for higher grades, Just tell your son to either tell him to stop being a conceited jerk about it or that there’s no real benefit of going to private school. In my case, it has made me incredibly miserable and will probably be something I regret for the rest of my life :D</p>
<p>A fair point. At least when people are attending private schools, they’re spending their own dollars…and still supporting public schools without adding to the schools’ burden.</p>
<p>Don’t go to his Mom, this is a throwaway conversation. You could however, as the adult in the room, call him on it yourself if you’re not inclined to let it go and it’s the topic of the moment (don’t bring it up yourself). Show him that humans are supposed to speak to one another with grace, respect and humor. Then that’s it, you’ve done your job. I’m sure his parent(s) have tried to impart that lesson as well, but sometimes, especially with middle school, having another adult repeat what he’s already learned from his parental units will drive the lesson home more effectively. Or not, he could just be a natural born jerk, in which case they won’t be friends much longer.</p>
<p>If we’re talking schools like BxScience, I wouldn’t be too sure about that. I knew several classmates at Stuy who thought that way when they came in from private middle/high school(latter as an incoming sophomore) and found the competition such they were lucky to remain somewhere in the top half to being just outside of the top quarter of our graduating class if we ranked. </p>
<p>One former private school classmate and incoming sophomore who had ambitions of graduating as val at Stuy ended up having some stress-related illnesses at 15. From what I later heard from other classmates in her year, someone else took the val spot and she wasn’t thrilled with being sal or finding it alone didn’t impress too many Stuy classmates. </p>
<p>Being val or sal alone weren’t regarded as major accomplishments as being a member of the math/debate teams or becoming a Westinghouse semi-finalist/finalist. </p>
<p>I am lost as to why " these comments disturb " you if you said yourself about this kid that he “admittedly does act like a jerk sometimes” Seems to me a 2 contradictory statements. No jerk should be able to disturb anyone. Label “jerk” means just that - be aware of the mean dog. Would you purposely enter any property with this kind of sign? I hope not. So, why are you letting yourself to be disturbed by somebody who is wearing the label “jerk”?</p>
<p>…btw, do not put down privates either. They are great and one of my kid graduated from one, while another went to public, because it was his choice. The “private” HS kid did not have a choice, she was sent to private by us and she understood the reasons very well. How you could send a kid who is coming from the middle school class that has only 4 kids to a public with few hundreds in the class. I just did not want to deal with the social shock, period, that would have been way too much, and another thing I knew very well about everything that her older bro was into. Private HS with 33 kids in class was a perfect fit for a kid who was given no choice, as well as later a public in-state UG was also a perfect fit for a very mature 17 y o girl sho graduated #1 from her private HS.<br>
it is strictly a matter of fit, nothing else. Whatever fit one will not fit another. “Jerky” comments could be ignored. </p>
<p>As strange as this sounds I have known six families in this position, 5 with twins, one with triplets. In two cases one twin went to a local private school with excellent programs for kids with dyslexia while their twins went to the strong LPS. In two cases the kids who remained in the public school system had LD’s that were best served with an IEP while their twins attended highly competitive privates. In one case the twins had been in private through 8th but when it came time to apply to high schools one wanted to go private, the other public, and the parents acquiesced. The parents of the triplets put two in extremely competitive boarding schools while the third attended the local high school. I got the sense that he had some mental health issues, perhaps depression, that made that a better choice for him.</p>
<p>We have both good public and private schools within our town so it’s not as crazy as it might seem.</p>
<p>As a parent of twins, I belong to several twin-parent organizations. It’s not unusual or odd at all for twins to attend different schools for a variety of reasons. I never thought anyone would think the family was weird for making that decision! </p>
<p>One of the best responses to something like this that I’ve heard was “We all make decisions and then stress over whether we made the right decision. You can stress for free, or pay a lot of money and still be stressed. I chose the free route…” </p>