<p>Yeah, I'm not talking about random roommates you get freshman year or something and you have no idea how they'll turn out as far as living with, I'm talking about roommates you had a choice in living with. </p>
<p>Here's the thing. I'm a sophomore and chose to live with one of my best friends from high school. Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all about how that was mistake number one, but I've seen it done many times. Everything was peachy keen in the beginning, but now a month or so in, I am finding myself wanting to move out very soon and not seeing her as my best friend anymore. </p>
<p>I won't go into any details, I just want a general consensus on these questions.. </p>
<p>Is it ok if you're not "best friends" with your roommate? I was always expecting that to happen for your whole college career. Like living with your roomie and being the bestest of friends who hang out and share the same social circle. Not really happening though..</p>
<p>Do you have to hang out a regular basis with your roommate? If you don't have scheduling conflicts and such, do you have to hang out and what not? </p>
<p>Should I just see this as a "I'm just living here" situation or try to move out and find another roommate in which I can have more of a "I'm just living here but also having fun" situation? </p>
<p>My problems with her aren't dire where I'm all OH DEAR GOD I MUST GO kind of state, but enough that I feel stressed out when I come home. Or think about coming home.</p>
<p>It’s okay not to be best friends. I mean, my roommate and I get along, but she hangs out with her own people, and I hang out with mine. We occasionally do things together, but for the most part, we’re just casual friends. Definitely not best friends. But if you’re stressing out when you come home, I’d recommend having a talk with someone. Maybe not your roommate initially if you’re not comfortable, but someone who you trust and has a clear head about the topic.</p>
<p>It sounds like you had certain expectations when you and your best friend became roommates this year. Now that things are not turning out as had expected, you are disappointed.</p>
<p>My daughter is a freshman. She met her roommate through Facebook. They communicated with each other and met in person before deciding to room together this year. I don’t think my daughter was looking for someone to be her best friend. She just wanted to find someone who would be a compatible roommate.</p>
<p>My daughter says that they get along, but don’t spend much time together socially. They each have their own group of friends. Her roommate goes home every weekend. I’ll be honest. I was a bit upset about this at first because I was hoping that they would have time to spend with each other on the weekends. However, my daughter says she actually likes having the room to herself on the weekends, so it seems to be working out fine for her.</p>
<p>I don’t think there is any guarantee that you will find a roommate that will be your “best friend.” Sometimes it happens, but I would bet that the majority of the time it doesn’t.</p>
<p>It’s definitely okay if you’re not friends with your roommate. It’d definitely be better if you were, but its no big. I think I had like…4 serious/friendly conversations with my roommate my whole freshman year. We didn’t get along great, but we didn’t get along horrible. Most of the time, he respected my space. Most of the time, I respected his. When we did have confrontations, we settled them quickly and remained respectful. That’s what living with someone else is like. It won’t hinder your experience. I was “friends” with mostly everyone in my dorm, but I wasn’t extremely close with them. Four of my best friends lived clear across campus. One of them commuted. </p>
<p>No matter who you live with, your best high school friends or otherwise, having mutual respect is the most important rule.</p>
<p>You don’t have to be best friends with your roommate, no. Just don’t be mortal enemies. And there is a lot of time left in the year, things might turn aorund.</p>
<p>If you are lucky like me though, your roommate does become your best friend in college. Random international kid I get matched up with freshman year, we are living together this year and will next year with more people and probably senior year. Same major, on some of the same IM teams, its great.</p>
<p>It’s not required to be best friend with your roommate, but sometimes that is a plus. If you ever plan to live with a friend again next year, at least make sure you know a little about their living habits and are sure you can deal with it. I know a lot of my friends roomed with each other and were still friends at the end of the year, but that was because a lot of them already had the same habits (i.e. being clean, sleeping late, etc) and weren’t that different from each other. They also were rooming with someone they knew, but maybe not exactly their best friend(s).</p>
<p>I thought my roommie and I would at least be somewhat close friends, but we both have our own circle of friends and do different things, and sometimes you have to accept that. Heck, one of my friends hasn’t even seen her roomie sleep in her room in days! But at least they don’t argue about bothering other’s privacy. As long as you guys don’t kill each other, not being friends with your roommie is alright.</p>
<p>Thank you for all the replies! I’m still trying to decide whether or not I should move out next year, but I will try my best to get along and make the best of what we have until then.</p>
<p>I think that no matter who I roomed with, I would be very sick of seeing them all the time if I hung out with them often. My roommate and I get along excellently and I definitely consider her a good friend, but we almost never hang out or do things together because we see each other so much at home. It’s nice to go to Target together or something and I think we would hang out often if we didn’t live together, but it would just become oppressive if I had to be around her 24/7.</p>