What pros and cons do you see in a two young graduates getting married and BF getting a job to support while GF applies to medical school? Its a long and rough journey so should he secure himself with some sort of pre-nuptials in case she leaves him for someone else? Young in love couples don’t anticipate it but divorces happen.
nvm. Just realized that this is probably a hypothetical.
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This is not a hypothetical at my local U.
Didn’t you already ask about this a couple months ago? What is you relationship with these people. Are they asking you for advice?
Agree
What additional would you like to know that you didn’t get in the other questions you have asked here.
What perspective are you asking these questions from. A student or a parent perspective? To know where you are coming from might be helpful for the answers that people might give you
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From parental perspective who want to know what other people in such position would do to protect their kid’s future. With high rate of divorces, prenuptials make sense or is it overprotective paranoia putting seeds of doubt?
There was one recent case in community where a guy in his late 30’s supported his younger wife through an expensive law school and provided a luxury lifestyle, only for her to leave him as soon as she became independent and taking half of his assets as well because he was in love and there was no prenuptial.
Just to be clear - you are the parent of one of the people involved, right?
Otherwise this discussion seems gossipy and inappropriate.
I’m not but it’s a dear dear friend’s dilemma and a common parental concern for everyone among us with young professionals in 20’s & 30’s entering marriages considering divorce rates.
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What sort of person would gossip about these serious matters? It’s a legitimate concern.
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I don’t see why they should even get married if there is something in place for divorce (I also don’t think any full time students should consider marriage, I’m hoping my kids wait until 30 or so, my oldest is 25 and with her boyfriend for over 3 years and that’s her plan). At my age I’ve seen some very messy divorces (including my sister who doesn’t work and us financially set for life, it’s not all about money).
Using gossip- which is what the anecdote you shared is- as the basis for life decisions is not modeling the kind of maturity that you are talking about.
You do not, and can not, know the whole truth of that particular marriage. It plays into a simplistic, well established trope- the scheming / selfish woman who shamelessly uses and then throws away the innocent man. Eve, redux. Are there women like that? sure. Are there men like that? sure. Are they so thick on the ground that we make every decision based on the fact of their existence? No.
There are many, many reasons that a marriage can come unstuck, including infidelity, infertility, changing goals in life (incl simply growing up/maturing), abuse, addiction, dynamics with the families of origin, and so on.
Marrying too young is perennially in the top 5 reasons for divorce: that would be the reason I would discourage new grads from getting married. Take a couple of years of actual independent adult life first.
The need for a pre-nup is not a common concern with anybody I know- none of the 20-somethings in our orbit have anything to ‘protect’ at this stage.
ps, divorce rates are currently at their lowest since 1970.
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I can only speak for myself. I met DH the first week of college - we lived on the same floor our freshman year and married 8 years later when he was halfway through med school (he worked for a couple of years after graduating college to defray future expenses). We are still married 30 years later. It worked for us and some couples I know but not for others.
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And this is why asking for a friend posts are not allowed. If your friend has questions, they can open their own account to ask. Closing.
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