We are currently applying for 9th grade for our 13 year old who has had psychoeducational testing at 3 year intervals due to what was once called Asperger syndrome, now part of autism spectrum disorder. He had always attended a private independent school and when younger received OT, Speech, ABA/behavioral therapy. Currently he does not receive any services but has an educational plan which basically asks the school to think about the best way for him to have opportunities to improve his social skills (very soft). His autism in the school setting is not a huge issue, mostly apparent in his passionate focus on his most favored interests. He is quirky and is like a “little professor.” He is a pretty good athlete in a specialized sport. He makes all A’s and his standardized testing is average for independent schools in math and exceptional for verbal.
We are struggling to decide how much of his testing to disclose to schools. We are applying to 3 local day schools and 3 boarding schools. I have extensive evaluations from elementary, beginning of middle school and this year which show his high IQ and strengths but also mention traits like rigidity, difficulties in social interactions and pragmatics, etc which are very typical for kids with Asperger’s (which we know does not exist as a true diagnosis anymore).
Private schools with their smaller class sizes and ability for him to focus on his interests (classics, history) are where he will thrive. We have always thought transparency is best , but we do not want to ruin his chances of getting in places. We know competition is high these days and do not want him to be an immediate no based on his evaluation/
There are some schools which have specialized learning centers where disclosing would be of value. Off the top of my head, these include schools like: Pennington, Hun, Eagle Hill, etc.
But then there are others where disclosure might not be helpful. Schools within the Ten Schools Association like Andover, Exeter, etc. All of these schools can give accomodations to your child.
Overall I would suggest not disclosing unless your child will be applying for one of the specialized learning centers within a boarding school
Our son with Asperger’s and ADHD is also in the middle of applying to boarding schools, 10th, from a junior boarding school. He’s very open about his diagnosis: He’s written articles, started an affinity group and given presentations about neurodiversity so there’s no hiding it.
Our goal is to find the best fit so disclosing his diagnosis is very helpful. Academically, he’ll do fine anywhere but we want him at a school that accepts him for who he is. We want the schools to be aware of his weaknesses as well as his strengths. And the school needs to know so they can support him. Our son’s main accommodation is that he gets to use a laptop except for math and foreign language.
The schools he has interviewed and toured so far from GLADCHEMMS don’t seem to bat an eye at his diagnosis and emails a lot of stuff on how well their school is doing with DEI and how they support their neurodiverse students. We’ve been most impressed with Choate but all the schools really emphasize inclusion and diversity. My son is also nonbinary. I would disclose because why would you send a kid to a school that would discriminate against someone being on the spectrum?
Just my opinion: I would not say anything in the application, but wait until you get in. Most schools have help available and most students (literally) have some kind of accommodation at every school. It’s not a problem… I just wouldn’t bring attention to it until one gets in. At least if I were in your shoes that’s what I would do. Good luck!
As another asd kid, I wish I disclosed this in my apps to be honest. I didn’t (the schools could probably tell in the interview though tbh). I wish I did because I may have done a better job sifting through schools that weren’t good fits. When I went to BS, I was unable to adapt socially because I was a ND kid in a predominantly NT school with not much guidance. I advocated for myself and still struggled, which is part of why I’m back at public school (and so glad I am!).
I think BS could be great for a ND kid, just make sure it’s the right one. I think the schools that are right are easier to see if you disclose it. But that’s a personal decision that carries pros and cons on both sides.
If your goal is for your child to get into the most prestigious school with a low admission rate, I can understand not wanting to share the neuropsych when applying. But, they might not have accommodations that he might benefit from, and he could struggle socially.
I chose a different approach, and I’ll mention it in case it’s helpful to you. One of my kids has a neuropsych, and I shared it when he applied to schools. I was looking for the right fit. Schools know how to read neuropsych reports, and they will use the information in them. I found that it the schools were appreciative of my transparency which set up a strong start for the school-parent partnership. I also found that they thought of him as a person with specific challenges and strengths, and they didn’t lable him. My son also has strong interests, and his school has supported him by offering a year-long independent study which he absolutely loves.
There are many fine schools that offer a great boarding school education other than the most well-known schools. I encouage you to focus on fit as you explore different school options.
Another vote for disclosure. A school might suspect something from his behavior in the interview and worry that you are oblivious. There are schools where he would likely fit in fine and be appreciated for his gifts. That’s where you want him to land.
And fwiw, it can set up a bad dynamic if you have and withhold information from people you then ask to go above and beyond to help your kid. Most of them will gladly ask what they can do to make everything positive from the start if you’re candid… Don’t blindside them.
Follow up to my above post:). We were very impressed with Choate because they matched us with a tour guide whose older sister is on the spectrum and graduated from Choate. They have numerous groups and clubs for the neurodivergent and the kids are open about their diagnosis which we found refreshing.
My son has run into many kids at his JBS and elsewhere who would benefit from an evaluation and/or has a diagnosis but try to hide it because of perceived stigma. It’s sad that they have to hide a big part of who they are.
I also wanted to add that at the school I know best, kids aren’t turned down because they aren’t “good enough”. They may be turned down because the school can’t serve them well. A kid like yours sounds like he could be served well at many schools.
In your case, having determined what your kid needs, you can be forthcoming and help ensure that the match will be a success.