<p>I really don't even know how to title my question. I am a senior and I live in a house with 3 other people. My roommate and I are friends but other than her I really don't have any friends here. I have been hanging out with one of my other housemates pretty regularly since school started and it seems like we "click". So my question is, how do I know when we are actually friends? Like if she has friends over and she is hanging out with them in the living room, is it ok for me to join them? I just feel like it is awkward if I do join them but it can potentially be weird if I don't. I want to be friends with her and become a part of her friend group so I feel like i should sort of push myself in. Then again, I don't want to bother anyone. I have no idea if they want me to hang out with them or not. I have the same mental dilemma with my roommate when she has friends over. I don't know if my presence is wanted or not. </p>
<p>What I usually do is hang out for a few minutes and talk and then I will say I have homework to do because I feel uncomfortable staying for longer. There have been a few instances when I got invited to get food or whatever because they were about to leave. But, I feel like they were just inviting me to be nice. </p>
<p>I feel like this situation has come up so many times before with many different groups of people. I never know what is appropriate for me to do.</p>
<p>Ha this sounds like this paragraph was written by me. I too can’t figure out if I’m supposed to hangout with my roommates, or if it’s rude if I go back to my room. I get along great with my roommates, but as soon as their friends are over, I feel awkward.</p>
<p>lol. that is awkward. maybe when you and said roommate are alone ask her about it. be like hey is this okay or if you feel uncomfortable doing that then just go along with them when they invite you. maybe they do want to include you. my roomie and her friends ignore me. like her friend will come to the room and they will be like okay time for dinner and not even invite me. also stop going to hide in your room. its your house as well and if you wanna chill where they are then you do it. if they didn’t like you they would probably try to find other places to hang out.</p>
<p>Hey there! I understand that situation.
IMO you should just push yourself out there. I know it’s awkward, but stick around and eventually they’ll get used to you and like you. There are many instances whereby I join a new school and find it hard to make friends, but I found that the best solution to that was to always stick to one group of people until you become close.
I know it’s easier said than done, but just give it a shot. It takes time and effort to make friends especially cos they’re already close…but it won’t take long and the results r worth it :)</p>
<p>By the way, don’t be overly self-conscious. Chances are they won’t find you annoying or bothersome, and even if they did, they’ll get used to you over time and u will naturally integrate. It sounds kinda clingy, but normally people aren’t b*chy about it when it comes to having someone want to join the group.</p>
<p>I know this kind of situation. Retrorespectively I can say, I pushed myself in to the group completely merciless. And hey, it went well. Sure, I wasn’t too harsh and I have to overcome shyness but you have to remember. Just be confident. Those people you want to be friends with are surely nice(otherwise you would not like them I suppose? :D), so just try it. ^^</p>
<p>Meeting friends is all about making yourself feel good. If you don’t feel good, don’t force yourself to do it. As long as you feel comfortable, go out there and make more friends. You will get better and better. Keep going!</p>
<p>Julie- I understand you. You are not alone. Many people have the same sense about friendship. When I was younger I’d look around and I’d feel like an outsider. Gosh- my freshman year in high school was really really challenging. It took some time- ok- more time than I’d like to admit-years- but at one point I learned how to make friends. Now I’m married to my best friend. We’ve been married for 29 years. Please have hope that you can change your situation. It will get better. It will. I think you need to think about something catchy when you feel down- maybe something like : “There is power in positive thinking.” (There is a book by this title- although it is very religious, so it may not be applicable if you are an atheist, as I am ). Try hard to stay upbeat. Have a daily pattern… Is there a fitness center? Can you take a class there? You might make friends at a spin class or a zumba class…Brainstorm: Maybe you need to go for a daily run and get some sunshine and fresh air. Maybe you need to go for a walk. At some point maybe you’ll ask someone to join you. You’ll figure it out. Believe in a positive outcome- it is a self fulfilling prophecy. Believe in yourself- ok? Take care of yourself. Self care is important. You are important. Best to you.</p>
And hey, it went well. Sure, I wasn’t too harsh and I have to overcome shyness but you have to remember. Just be confident. Those people you want to be friends with are surely nice(otherwise you would not like them I suppose? :D), so just try it. ^^</p>