<p>2Leashes,</p>
<p>I know you directed your question to Mom, but I wanted to weigh in for whatever it’s worth. I have experience with both the in-state college thing, the OOS college thing, and the CA thing–my family did four tours in southern CA (almost 12 years total, in both Orange County and Coronado).</p>
<p>As we all know, there are lots of great reasons to send a child to college in-state, and you’ve touched on most of them. Yes, it’s typically (but not always) a lot less expensive, which is, of course, a huge factor–and one that, for many families, makes the decision a no brainer. And yes, in many ways it IS more convenient. My son is at UVA, only two hours from us, and I’ll admit, it’s nice to have him so close when it comes to travel. But I have to tell you, he doesn’t come home any more often than my older son did (who attended Clemson in SC when we lived in CA). Like many college kids, my second son thinks of his college town (in this case, Charlottesville) as home–because for nine months of the year, it IS. His closest friends are there, his stuff is there, okay, his LIFE is there–so HE wants to be there–and not home with us. Yes, there are times when it’s been great to have him so close. This fall he separated his shoulder playing soccer, and after surgery, we were able to bring him home for a few days (thankfully over fall break) to recover, and yes, we have gone down to Charlottesville for a couple of football games, but for the most part, having him closer to home hasn’t really been that much different from having our older son clear across the country–other than the travel logistics. Because, frankly, when they’re gone, they’re gone, whether it’s across the country or in another part of the state. And the joy of a phone call is still a joy…no matter where it comes from. :)</p>
<p>That said, there is one “advantage” (and this is just my opinion, so please don’t bash me folks!) to sending a student OOS that hasn’t been mentioned here…and that’s the experience that comes with attending college out of one’s comfort zone. Sounds scary, I know, but as someone who grew up in one place (Chicago), went to school there, and planned to stay there forever, I can honestly say the best thing that ever happened to me was leaving. Not that Chicago isn’t a fabulous city–because it is! But there’s a big, wide world out there I’d never have known had I not married into the military and moved eleven times. Now that’s excessive, I’ll admit, but I think there’s something enriching and exciting and challenging about living in a very different part of the country than what one’s familiar with–and that extends to college students, as well. It’s a pretty amazing experience to be able to refer to another area of the country as “home,” and pretty amazing to be able to adopt the people who live there as extended “family.” 
And if one goes to school close to home, then permanently settles in that area (as many folks do), one will never experience that…</p>
<p>Southern California is, of course, fabulous! Why would anyone (including teenagers–okay, especially teenagers) ever want to leave? When we lived on Coronado (arguably paradise), most of the kids who grew up there took what they considered to be “the plunge” by crossing the bridge to go to USD, UCSD, or SDSU. If they were really brave, they went a bit farther to USC or UCLA, and, if they were really, really brave, they ventured up the coast to UCSB or USF or UC Berkeley. And I’m not meaning to be flip, really! Those are all terrific schools, and with the exception of the privates I mentioned, they’re far less expensive than going OOS, so it’s completely understandable why those kids went to school where they did. Still, they never left the bubble that is life in CA, and most never will. Is that a bad thing? No. And I’m not, in any way, suggesting it is. What I am suggesting is that it can be a real (and usually positive, but not always) growing experience to move out of one’s comfort zone to explore and live in places unknown, places that are entirely different from where one has spent the first 18 years of life. And isn’t the college experience all about growing? </p>
<p>I should tell you that my son applied and was accepted to UVA when we lived in CA–when we thought we were STAYING in CA…until, that is, the Marine Corps told us otherwise. And while my H and I were thrilled to make the change to that lovely VA in-state tuition, our son’s reaction to his Dad’s orders was a bit mixed. As I recall, he said something like “Wow, that’s really great…but you guys aren’t gonna be dropping in on me all the time, are you?” LOL It’s not that the kid doesn’t love us, but he wanted the same, independent “far from home” experience his older brother had. And by keeping our distance (literally and figuratively), we’ve tried to give him that. No surprise it was that same desire that kept my D focused primarily on OOS schools, and it’s one of the main reasons she’ll be attending Bama next year instead of several VA schools. That, and the fact that she fell in love with it when we visited. 
</p>
<p>Anyway, there are plenty of great reasons to send your D in-state, and probably fewer to do the OOS thing, still, I wouldn’t underestimate the value of sending her to a school far from home–as complicated and as difficult as that might be. In fact, it might just be another good reason to do it, especially if the school happens to be the “right” one. </p>
<p>Best of luck! :)</p>
One thing–it was probably an easier transition to college for your boys because their parents live right there in the same state. Same for you! You can drive to the school if need be. It sounds like you have a lot of contact with their university. I would miss being able to have that parent-connection…not that I plan to show up at my daughter’s college too often.