Quick Feedback on the Topic I'm Considering (UC Transfer Prompt)

College Essays
1

Hey all!

I’m closing out the last part of my UC application between today and tomorrow, and before I decide to 100% submit it I wanted to get a little feedback to see if one of the things I wrote about was appropriate/specific enough/interesting enough for the prompt.

PROMPT:
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field — such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities — and what you have gained from your involvement.

The route I originally took with this as a Psychology major was to tell the story of how myself and a group of close friends (focusing mostly on my personal aspects) ended up forming a local community support group for people with depression, anxiety, or addiction-related issues. It clearly connects to the reasons I’m going into the field (pursuit of clinical work), it demonstrates a degree of passion and initiative, and it allows the cliched “adversity into self-improvement” angle as much as I want to use it.

However, my worry is that it might come across as being “another sob story”, too general (since it’s not one specific moment in my life, but rather something that developed over several months), and all-around uninteresting for somebody else to read about.

Any feedback at all would be immensely appreciated.

Thanks for your time!

2

It actually sounds like a very interesting idea. The problem would be if your creating this group stemmed from your own mental illness; the red flag that would raise for colleges would negate all the other positives you’re trying to convey.

3

@OnMyWay2013 Fair point. It doesn’t stem from a mental illness of my own, however I’d be lying if I said other problems in my life didn’t encourage my involvement with the creation of it in the first place.

Would emphasis on my dealing with their respective issues be more reasonable, or would that depersonalize the context of my writing too much?

4

I guess it’s a judgment call how much is appropriate to include from your own life and experiences