Quick Last Graded Essay...please?

<p>I went over this essay with my english teacher, but she can't give me a grade because she doesn't grade SAT essays. She said it was good but I need a conclusion and a stronger intro.</p>

<p>Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?</p>

<p>The great first lady Eleanor Roosevelt once said "never let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent". Having the courage to stand up for your beliefs while ignorning the consquences of your actions will preserve your integrity. Although you may not be saving someone from a tragic sitution, you can still be considered a hero because of your defense of your beliefs. Examples of these heroes in modern literature and history are Ralph Waldo Emerson, the protagonist of Fahrenheit 451 and the women involved in the suffrage movement.</p>

<p>Ralph Waldo Emerson, a great philosopher, believed that in order for one to be true to themseleves, he or she must uphold their individuality. His essay "Self-Reliance" emphasizes the importance of speaking one's mind, no matter if his or her ideas are unorthodox or countercultural. Emerson realizes how hard it is to "say hard words", or speak youe mind to a group of impressionable people who can not speak for themselves. To him, these people would be considered heroes. </p>

<p>The protagonist of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 essentially practices Emerson's philosophy of unrestricted self-expression. Although he is initially assigned be the totalitarian government to destroy books containing revolutionary ideas, he eventually finds thruth in them after he meets a courageous young girl. She shows him the truth contained in the books, and together they are able to spread these books to their impressionable peers, rather than destroy them. His defiance of the government gives him the courage to uphold the ideas that he truely believes, rather than what he is told to believe.</p>

<p>The women of the suffrage movement also used their courage to spread unorthodox ideas to a mass of people through their attemps to grant women the right of franchise. Although their protests were quelled and many men thought of them as inferior, the brave women marched on with hopes of universal suffrage. Their cries for equaliry were recognized when the ninteenth amendment was ratifie, granting women the right to vote.</p>

<p>buuuuuuump?</p>

<p>cut down some of the excessive description and replace it with analysis explaining why these examples are indicative of heroism</p>