I’m a parent of a quirky junior. He is very intelligent(according to every single teacher) and of course we knew that. He participates well at school in all his classes. Loves math and science and a A student in math and science. What frustrate us and the teachers is he will do the home work and would not turn it in some times. He refuse to keep a planner where he can look up all his work in a glance. He is passionate about math and science and want to do research. In fact he is the best math and science student in his class but never get recognized because of his sloppy habits. He won’t be able to get into any research universities but will be bored if he is not challenged. Any of you parents have to go through anything like this?
Yes.
It will be okay. Your son is intelligent and WILL be admitted to a college or university. Read up on executive function issues (sounds like that is the situation, to me).
Executive function/ADD - he will get into college, there are plenty of colleges that will take students with less than perfect GPAs. I am more worried about how he’ll do in college - we hear all too often about kids who fall apart in college because there is no one there to make sure they hand in their homework and go to classes. You may want to get a handle on this sooner rather than later.
Sounds like my 13 year old today. We’re still waiting for the organized side of his brain to turn on.
Incredibly common behavior among gifted kids.
You need to pound it into him that by doing dumb stuff like not turning in his homework he is limiting his own future options, and that if he doesn’t want that to happen he needs to take advantage of strategies that will help him stay reasonably organized and meet deadlines.
Thank you. I will get him checked. I do not check whether he turned in his home work, but when his grades come in it’s always some assignment to do with housekeeping like turning in the notes taken during the semester.
Consolation, I did pound it into him and got him so much better than he was at middle school. I should work on his planner and write down, “to do list”. Thank you
While I agree that he probably needs to work on his organizational skills, it’s worth noting that his failure to turn in homework may not be as big a deal in college. I found that it was extremely rare for homework to be collected in math classes, and pretty unusual in most science classes as well. The professors would stress that you doing the homework would help YOU (the student), and if you didn’t do it, that was your problem. Of course, if you’re taking a lab based class, you would need to turn in lab reports, but I don’t think that’s what OP was talking about.
And it would be extremely unusual to be expected to turn in class notes in college. High schools usually do this to help the kids develop study habits. It sounds like your son studies well, he just can’t be bothered with the details.
It’s exactly what he is. Some people say he will do well in college, but at the moment the frustration is unbearable for me. Partly because I cannot show him how I feel.
Former full time gifted teacher here. I completely agree with @Consolation . It’s very common with gifted boys. With my own son, who barely passed 9th grade art, as well as his other subjects, I told him that if he was able to get certain grades, he would have his choice of where he went to university (we’re Canadian).
There are gifted kids who just slide through high school, for various reasons - it’s boring, they can get A’s without cracking a book etc. These kids will often have trouble when they get to college because they have no ability to study - they’ve never had to do it before. He needs to be able to communicate to his teachers that he understands the material, even if he doesn’t agree with the method of communication, like handing in notes. In real life, we have to meet the communication needs/wants of our bosses or customers, even if we don’t like to communicate in that manner.
At middle school he would get all the math and science prizes so easily. At high school he had to work really hard at humanities. He know how to study, but he under estimate the importance of small things that the teacher is expecting. It may not be important to him but he had to do that to get his grades. Do you think these kids will thrive in certain type of colleges. Colleges with not many core subjects for example.
It is hard to tell from your post the extent of the problem. Does he not turn in assignments so gets B+ instead of A? Or is he getting Cs and Ds when he should be getting As? Does he do well on every test (90 or better)? Or does he get lower test grades because he doesn’t study?
If his GPA is really low (below a 3), he will have more trouble getting into college. If it is higher than a 3.5, coupled with top test grades, he will do fine, although not the tippy top. But he (and you) need to be realistic. He may not be a good candidate for a tippy top school, since those kids tend to be smart and excellent students. Kids that glide through just may not be able to cut it.
That being said, there are many great colleges for B students that will allow him to succeed in whatever way he wants to. Don’t worry too much. You can’t make him change. Only he can do that.
Yes. My daughter is like this. And yes, she is, according to the state of Illinois, anyway, “gifted”.
She insists on taking lots of AP classes, but has lots of Bs and a few Cs - but she’ll get a 4 or 5 on the AP tests (and yes I am grateful for that at least). Also got a high-isn ACT score, and just in case it is not too high in relation to her falling GPA, she insists on taking it again, 
She is ambitious about some things anyway, just not homework…
One thing that has actually helped with her, though - I’ve been dropping her off at the public or community-college library at least a couple nights a week and leave her there for 2-3 hours. ( She doesn’t have her driver’s license yet - I used to be upset about this but it’s working out in this regard…) She gets LOTS done during that time. I take creative writing classes at the local cc, and sometimes I’ll go to a local coffeehouse to write and I’ll take her with me. We sit there for a few hours - I write, and she does hw. I had to make a rule that she couldn’t talk to me while I’m working, because she would just blab a lot at first, lol… And she also gives me her phone when I drop her off at the library.
This plan has resulted in her getting more hw done. I think kids are sometimes easily distracted at home - I know am, still.
Another thing that has helped is showing her the freshmen scholarship pages on school websites, and the requirements - she knows now it’s not enough to just have the high test score, that she needs to keep her grades up too.
We have also accepted that she will probably not do well - if even admitted - at a “tippy top” school. We are shooting for small LACs and regional publics that suit her academic interests, and have an Honors college. Kids with a 3.4 GPA and decent test scores can get into many of these, it seems, and for my daughter, this would be ideal, as she does still need and want the intellectual challenge…
We bought a book called AMERICA’S BEST COLLEGES FOR B STUDENTS by Tamra Orr, and found a few prospects there. Also did an online search at the regional publics in our area.
GPA about 3.5. SAT 2300(One sitting, not doing it again). I’m not expecting him to be accepted to any tier one college, or even tier two. But I feel as a parent at least I need to find him a good fit. I wonder whether open curriculum will suit him more.
Sigh, we have the same concerns about our second child. He’s 14. Brilliant kid. Math and Science oriented like yours. Highly creative (though not artistic.) Major organizational issues. He won’t “refuse” to do anything. Everyone acknowledges that his attitude and intentions are always good. However, trying to keep track of deadlines, turning in papers he’s already done, anything that is outside of routine… that’s a real issue. We’ve tried everything (I mean, calendars and special notebooks and alarms only work if you can actually remember to use them.) He’s in a project based high school which is SO good for him academically but unlike the traditional middle school he was in, there is so much choice and independence and he is not managing that aspect well (and I guess I’m being over-dramatic because we’re still talking A’s and B’s but frustrating when a “B” is ONLY because he didn’t get something he ALREADY DID on the teacher’s desk.) Even if I believed in micro-managing, I’d be totally unable to in the set-up of this school. But like I said, it’s the happiest, most engaged and fevered learning I’ve ever seen in him so we’re not moving him.
Sorry, venting a bit there. We worry about college too. We saw how hard D had getting an environment she wanted that we could actually afford and she only had one bad year… 3.4 sophomore year… gasp (horrible academic environment, depression, puberty resulting in refusal to do work that was, in fact, ridiculously low level.) She managed to get into one awesome LAC but then she also had 2.5 years of “perfect” on the transcript. How will it be for S who will likely have “fine” for 3.5 years?
Anyway, no answers yet. We are looking hard at our in-state public options… trying to find excellent programs hidden in “eh” schools. We are planning to send him to the community college for language classes junior year as his high school doesn’t offer it and he loves languages. We’re hoping that will clue us in a little to how he’ll do in a traditional setting. We’re also hoping that something will “click” as he ages lol.
Best of luck to your son. I will say that we know a few gifted ADHD boys in non-flag state publics doing really well. One gets some special services. I personally take great comfort in that.
I hope I can encourage you. Our older 2 are both now in college. DS1 constantly struggled with his “easy” assignments by not remembering to turn them in. If it was “bring in a folder for an easy 100 grade,” this kid ALWAYS got a zero. Seriously frustrating as a parent! He once got a 50 on a science exam. -because he turned it in without seeing the back side of it. (Better things to do, like read) The key to DS1 is to keep him overwhelmingly busy and challenged. He did graduate in the top 10% of his class but, only by knowing he was just outside of it and needing near perfect grades in his AP science and math classes. He needed the pressure.
College is much better but, he is double majoring in Electrical and computer engineering along with Computer Science. Plus he competes and trains approximately 30 hours a week on average for an EC. Some weeks require more hours. He sleeps very little but, loves his life. He’s driven now by the sense of conquering mountains most find impossible.
DS2 is a lot like DS1. His grades were perfect or far from it depending on his interest level and if the assignment was worth his time. (Again, drove us crazy) This son skipped a grade in middle school, after tons of evaluation and advice, and finally woke up a little. Brilliant test taker, just slightly lower grades but, still near the top of his class. College has taught him that he needs to study to survive. (ME major) He’s finally getting that concept down.
I would recommend over-challenging your son and see if he shines.
He should have tons of excellent choices. Perhaps consider a smaller school/LAC where the teachers will get to know him (including his strengths/weaknesses). LACs have a lot of research opportunities since there are no grad students to compete with.
I don’t know how you are defining Tier 1, but really there are excellent colleges that would be happy to have a B student.
Sounds like me, LOL.
A couple of ideas.
If he’s getting A’s, I’d leave him alone. Stop micromanaging. If he scores well on the math and science SAT IIs, he can get into some excellent research universities.
In the US there are many excellent research universities for a talented kid who doesn’t “play the game”. For example, I don’t think he needs awards to get into and excel at places like UMichigan, Wisconsin, Illinois, UWashington, UTexas, Georgia Tech, Purdue, etc.
Furthermore, places like Oxford and Cambridge, don’t care about his grades only his AP scores and his interview which is an academic interview where he has to perform on the spot.
He should do well in college where exams count 70% of your grade.