<p>This is mainly to vent, maybe also to seek some guidance from parents who have been there...
DS, a sophomore, is considering quitting Debate. He started Debate as a class and after school EC as a freshman last year. The class was a disaster (very incompetent teacher), but he really got a kick out of the after school club. He was put on a varsity team (had no prior experience with Debate), paired with some seniors - he is considered to be a natural debater, very fast reading/speaking, but still easily understandable. He was learning tons, went to a big tournament in Berkely , attended summer camp.</p>
<p>When the school year started, he realized that he will not be able to spend a lot of time in Debate due to other activities. And you have to practice A LOT in order to be a very good debater.
He is absolutely correct, he does not have time for this. He is taking 4 AP classes at his school plus another one at college = possibly 5 AP tests in May. One of his classes at the school is TV production, which requires a lot of work outside of school hours, filming and editing. Movie making is his passion and he will most likely continue with this class (and extra after school work) till he graduates. He is also starting competitive crew. Did intramural last year and LOVED it, so is trying comp. now.
He is also considering rejoining school's robotics club. He tried robotics last year but really hated the atmosphere there (basically one parent was running the show). DS claims that this parent is now gone, as are most of the kids (the club was not very succesful last year) and he really would like to try it again.
For other ECs that take a lot of time: DS plays violin and piano, composes his own music (nothing classical, techno stuff but does have his own website), is on the state ARML team, will be participating in AMC and Physics Olympiads this year (he is one of the state's top math students).</p>
<p>As you can see his hands are full, overflowing I would even say ;) So why do I feel a little sad about the possibility of quitting Debate? Maybe because I was seeing Debate as a completely different activity from his usual science and math oriented ? Maybe because he is natural in it? I don't know.
He is asking me what to do, and for now I have recommended staying in after school Debate as much as he can and to see how he will like competitive crew. But I am sure decision will be made in the next couple of weeks.</p>
<p>Sorry for the long post. I needed to vent...</p>
<p>He is only a rising sophomore. Debate sounds like it should be eliminated so that he has time to pursue his other interests and manage his tough course load.</p>
<p>Your son sounds very, very busy to me. IMO, it is the robotics which seems a little out of place given his current passion. Debate is communication and does involve some acting, and thus seems to be a nice complement to the interest in creating entertainment. His music involvement also fits well with his interest in movie-making. Since he had already quit robotics, not re-joining wouldn’t cause any disruption or disappoint anyone. </p>
<p>His coursework and current math/science EC’s will demonstrate to colleges that aspect of his abilities. Robotics, while fun, won’t round him out like debate would.</p>
<p>Agree. That is maybe why I am being confused. Last year he quit robotics to do debate. This year he would like to do the opposite. I do understand that robotics is not as time consuming as debate, and main events will take place during crew off season. </p>
<p>Why robotics? All his math buddies are in it. He will probably consider applying to Caltech and MIT. He had some peer pressure last year as to being a “math genius” in debate, from his robotics friends, but he did not give in.
This time lots of pressure from debate people to stay in debate. Lots of pressure from what I see on FB.</p>
<p>I don’t see anything wrong with what your kid is doing. In fact, he sounds pretty well adjusted to me. It’s obvious he’s extremely talented in math and science. And seems to enjoy it. This is probably what’s going to stand out in his college applications (which, BTW, are pretty far off). At that level of math and physics accomplishment already, he’ll certainly be able to get into a great (and highly rated if that matters) college.</p>
<p>It sounds like he’s also got a passion in the movie making/entertainment area (although “passion” still seems like a bizarre word to apply to a 15 year old. When I was 15 I think I was passionate about surfing and girls, but those don’t really get you into college).</p>
<p>Other than that, it sounds like he’s trying out a lot of things. Which sounds really healthy to me for a kid his age.</p>
<p>I agree with some of the other responders — ending Debate will give him more time to focus on what he’s really passionate about. But, I also know how hard it is to adjust to our kids deciding when something isn’t right for them. My now 16 year old daughter quit a very intense ballet program (pre-professional since age 4) a couple years ago – I was also sad about her choice…but…it has given her a chance to find other interests (Japanense language, Pilates, animal rights activism, film…etc.). You have to let go sometimes and allow them to make choices that are right for them. Your son is certain to get into a top school down the road, so let go and let him find his own way there :).</p>
<p>Debate alone can take over your life if taken seriously (and there is not much reason to do it at all if you don’t have time for it).
Let your son choose activities he wants to pursue. He sounds like a kid who puts a lot of effort in what he does, and wants to do it well.</p>
<p>He sounds like a kid who is still searching for his passions a bit, but he certainly has some nice successes on his resume already. I woudn’t worry too much about this decision one way or the other. </p>
<p>Encouraging him a bit to continue debate is fine, but if he thinks he would be stretched too thin, you need to accept that decision. If he feels like he has enough on his plate already, dropping debate is not a bad choice. It sounds like he doesn’t need the self-confidence boost that some kids get from debate and he already has good speaking skills. Sure, it might make his resume appear more well-rounded but he’s going to be a strong ‘angular’ candidate so there’s no need for that. Although debate might build his skills his other activities wouldn’t, his other activiites all seem to have value, too.</p>
<p>Your son has a lot going on with school as well as other EC’s. However , I totally “get” that it is hard to see your child drop an activity that he is good at and also enjoys, even if it’s for a very good reason. I went through this when D left travel soccer after 10 seasons (and she was a good player), but she just couldn’t do it her increased commitment to dance. I sometimes wondered how well she would have done if she had played HS soccer, etc.and I will never know. However things turned out very well, just not exactly the way we had thought they would.</p>
<p>Your son sound likes a very talented, gifted and intelligent young man. Busy too. I’d let him make his own call.</p>
<p>The key life skill that debate team participation develops is the management of the fear of public speaking while presenting a cogent, persuasive or entertaining talk. Sounds like with a couple years debate and performing arts skills he knows about stage fright and has conquered it.</p>
<p>Mission accomplished.</p>
<p>Engineers and Scientists with exceptional communication skills are highly valued in industry if that is the path your son is considering.</p>
<p>First, he’s only a sophomore. I can see he’ll need to drop something. Not sure why he has to drop debate though. My son loved Debate, in part because it was on the weekends (and one after school, which didn’t really meet often). My son won tons of awards, including one national award that was part of a class.</p>
<p>But, what I do NOT understand is his schedule. Why on earth is he taking so many APs? What’s with your HS? They seem to be loading him with APs (which tend to be survey courses, with rigid/required curriculum). Most colleges will only give 15 credits.</p>
<p>Colleges like to see a student continue ECs for several years, mostly b/c they show commitment and are involved with leadership. If your son just dabbles in activities, he won’t get to take charge and help make decisions. That’s what they want to see.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the comments. I will pass them to DS over the weekend.</p>
<p>
Yes he is. And very busy indeed
Especially since his school and most EC activities are a good 35 miles from home!</p>
<p>Just started competitive crew today. His comment was “I am not as bad as I though I would be”. He is tall and athletic, another natural (remember what I said about debate;) )</p>
<p>Soozie - The call is going to be his call. I am overseeing things but at this point I am not going to be a decision maker. He is mature enough to understand the positives and negatives of his decision. I just want to see that this decision about quitting debate is going to stick. I want to see that he is happy with comp. crew and wants to stick with it for the next 3 years.
He is really a very special young man. Extremely smart. Extremely.
This kids tend to be perfectionists and overachievers. It is OK with me as long as his psyche is balanced. Crew will make him happy here. Because so far, whenever he said he was stressed out, I always responded with “take the dog for a run”. Knowing that it was DS that needed that run the most (but the dog appreciated it tremendously ).</p>
<p>What do you think about my idea of sticking it out for the next two weeks?</p>
<p>@limabeans - part of me is thinkingi exactly what you are thinking.</p>
<p>
He is very smart, top of the line smart. And his school sees him as fitted to take it. And he wants to take it. It is not easy for him, tons of homework, tons of study time. But he trives in an environement like this.</p>
<p>Also, I have to say, and please do not stone me for that, I do not understand the comments " he is ONLY a sophomore"
SO WHAT! When do you start making decisions that will affect your college life???</p>
<p>I think that comment Kelowna, is about the idea that HS should not just be total prep for college. There should be some balance so the kids have some breathing time and not feel that if they don’t do everything and do it all well then they’ll end up at some unknown school. Our HS only allows sophomores to take one AP and even the most driven kids won’t be able to take more then 6 by the time they graduate. Somehow it all works out.</p>
<p>To each his own Kelowna. I don’t think my kids would have been happy with all that academic and after school activity, but that’s JMHO. No stone throwing here. :)</p>
<p>Some schools do a lot of AP classes in place of Honors. I’m not too worried about academic workload. But I do see your son’s point about EC overload. Obviously it needs to be his decision, but it is ok for you to discuss pros/cons with him.</p>
<p>I see a lot of benefit to excercise, especially if a student is doing such intense academics. Yet I’d be tempted to encourage the Debate strongly, even if it meant dropping crew. He liked Debate and is good at it. It makes a wonderful complement to the science/math.</p>
<p>A few years ago we were at Olin, and I asked about Robotics. It seemed like something many of their applicants did Robotics and I feared it was a pre-req for top engineering schools that son was missing due to time conflict with another EC. Olin’s advise was simple - “do what you love”. Son ended up staying in the other also interesting EC, and he had the pleasant surprise of some awards. </p>
<p>He was busy with many ECs, including jazz bands and composing. By the end of junior year we all had to reluctantly admit that there simply no time for piano lessons. It turned out to be a good EC to drop because he was able to keep up his piano skills in a public volunteer gig (NHS hours). </p>
<p>I was sad that he did not have the time or inclination for Debate. It is a great EC.</p>
