<p>I've been getting lots of criticism that my essay is too outside the box and doesn't adhere to a personal essay. I was curious as to what others thought, i.e. people who aren't parents or friends. Thanks.</p>
<p>The color roll had ended. As the chamber opened, I reached for my 35mm black and white roll and switched the expired color for monochrome and placed it inside. The camera was loaded. </p>
<p>Click.</p>
<p>Enclosed by circles of fallen, fiery leaves, winding brooks, and barren branches, I stand in the middle of natures beauty. At a young age, I learned to take a hike into nature with a silent companion, whenever problems arose.</p>
<p>On these needed nature walks, I regard each leaf vein pops out. Individual snowflake patterns, single pine needles, and lone pollen grains all can be specifically examined. Each individual piece of bark can be differentiated from the next. This nature-painted mural demanded close observation. Despite the extreme detail, I cant draw away from it. Finally when stepping back from these precise details, similarly in life situations, it becomes easier to distinguish between a response and a reaction. I must allow myself to be dedicated to respond to natures canvas; I cant react to it. She cannot give an answer to my reaction. My response, however, shines through lenses. While stepping back, the path to follow can easily be assessed; it is no longer overgrown with brimming weeds. </p>
<p>When traveling deeper into the woods, the concentration of trees increases heavily. Light cannot as easily make its way down to the forest floor through the thick branches and abundant leaves. A filter is needed. Not just any filter, however. A certain type of filter is needed to capture the essence of natures mural. All photographers know that they have to carry different filters and lenses with them to adjust to the scene. So, I change perspectives of angles, filters, and film type to make the picture better, to make a difficult situation more manageable. Capturing the essence of the picture with varying factors allows for focus on one such factor. Typically I deal with one factor at a time, prioritizing for the desired outcome.</p>
<p>It is along my walk, at the top of a hill, that I find the ability to change the picture and situation. In looking for my perfect shot of the valley below, I change locations frequently. I move from place to place on the hill. It isnt uncommon for me to move from lying flat on the gravely path, scraping my knees, to up on a maple branch ten feet off the ground. The picture needs different perspectives in order to capture the full scene. This adversity must be dealt with. It has to be accomplished so that a desirable result will remain. </p>
<p>I took my gray filter out.</p>
<p>Winding down the hill near the end of the brook, despite the desired pictures taken, I again feel a great sense of grief. Not that long ago, my brother had been manic again. He was hospitalized. My feelings had escalated into crushing grief and bereavement.</p>
<p>Click.
The black and white roll had ended. Once again, I switched rolls and started the nature walk another time.</p>