Rate My SAT ESSAY

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>***Please rate my SAT essay out of 12 and include some reasons. Thank you.</p>

<p>Do we need other people in order to understand ourselves?</p>

<p>Humans are social creatures. We survive as a group, socialize as a group, and live as a group. we need others in order to understand things that our subconscious block about ourselves. One example is a gunnery sergeant during World War II who had to face his fears of war and death. </p>

<p>During World War II, many young adults were drafted into the Marine Corp and the Army to fight for the US in the pacific theater of the war. Many accounts of these men shows that the young men went to war as teenagers, but came back as grown men. One example of this is gunnery sergeant John Basilone, a high school graduate from rural America. He volunteered to join the Marine Corp and was shipped to the pacific theater of the World War after his basic training as a marine finished. During the war, he encountered many psychological barriers, such as killing the enemy at point blank range; Basilone would have nightmares about his deeds, but he didn't know why or what was causing him to feel guilty and uneasy about his action. However, one night, he was called to talk about his "conflicts" with his platoon commander. The platoon commander reprimanded, consoled, and praised Basilone's ethics in combat. Basilone never realized that his childhood was preventing him from reaching his peace, until he professed his story of witnessing a tragic death incident with his father committing suicide with a rifle when he was a child. The platoon commander then took better of Basilone and helped him overcome the fears night to night. Basilone eventually understood that his past developed fears of death are fears that he needed to get over since it risks the lives of his comrades. He discovered his potential as a marine during a battle at night on a pacific island. Basilone, himself and a squadron of men, protected the US grounds from a frontal assault from enemy forces. While doing so, he earned a Congressional Medal of Honor for his gallantry in the trenches against over outnumbering Japanese forces. </p>

<p>Through the consolation of his commander, Basilone discovered the limitations that he had placed on himself. The limitation that caused him to risk the lives of his fellow colleagues during the war. Everyone needs someone else in order to take another glance at oneself. Without help from the commander, Basilone might not have understood the root of his fear of death. The results of that route may have been catastrophic. </p>

<p>People are born "blind" to this world. We are all "innocent," until we let others to define us through influence and culture. In the example of John Basilone, his heroics were achieved because of his commanders efforts to help him understand himself. And because of his commanders efforts, Basilone was able to reach his potential as an individual and understand himself better than before. This understanding led him to achieve his heriocs and demonstrate his newly discovered valor in combat during battle.</p>

2

<p>Your overall effect was “adequately competent”. Your first line was redundant “We survive as a group, socialize as a group, and live as a group.” You should write it instead “We survive, socialize, and live as a group.”
Your essay lacks examples;I suppose that if you add more examples your score would get higher. Organization and structure for paragraph 2 and 3 is weak since they are not equal in length,I give you an 8 which may differ from one reader to another :))</p>

3

<p>I agree with the 8. At least two examples. Yes ive seen a 12 with one example but that was the honesty one in the blue book about how she couldnt tell her sister about the hairdo. </p>

<p>Your one example was dragged out. You could have made it much more succint (concise, lol sat word). More is only better if u have meaningful content. Its good u got it from history. Pull the other from literature or current affairs. And dont drag out ur sentences. Your entire essay could actually be curtailed (im on fire) without losing any content.</p>

4

<p>Thanks. I’ll be sure add more examples and make it more edifying :)</p>

5

<p>^ i see wat u did there ;)</p>

6

<p>Nice work! Though I agree with most everyone else that you need 2 examples minimum (preferably 3) you did a good job making one example work. There are some grammar issues, but the essay hardly suffers as a result because it is good prose. I’d say you’re looking at an 8-10 here, really just depends on the grader. Any chance you could grade mine?</p>

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<p>Prompt: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? (I was planning on using 1984 for this essay but I forgot some key details so ended up throwing a Dr. Seuss example in there instead…lol)</p>

<p>The presupposition that it is important to question the ideas of authority figures is a categorical truth. Although some naive critics would argue that figures with power should be left to make their own decisions, they are too dogmatic in their provincial ideology. Three classic archetypes that exemplify the benefits of questioning the beliefs of powerful figures are Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”, the British colonization of the New World, and Dr. Seuss’ “Yertle the Turtle”.</p>

<p>Set in the 14th century Danish kingdom of Elsinore, Shakespeare’s famous play “Hamlet” illustrates how powerful figures can be corrupt. For the duration of the play, Hamlet plans a series of attacks on his uncle, King Claudius. Although Claudius is generally believed to be a good king by the masses, Hamlet questions Claudius’ moral character. When it is revealed that Claudius is, in fact, a murderer, it is a result of Hamlet’s skepticism. As you can see, Hamlet’s persistence in proving his uncle’s guilt irrefutably substantiates the claim that authority figures should always be questioned.</p>

<p>Another paradigm that clearly displays the need for leaders to be questioned is the British colonization of the New World during the late 17th century. After establishing successful colonies in Jamestown and Plymouth, the British begin using a policy of “salutary neglect” on the colonists; as a result, the colonies are allowed to grow and develop as they please so long as they meet the religious and political demands of the mother country. The colonists’ eventual decision to question the regulations imposed on them by their British leaders ultimately caused the American Revolution, and America as we know it would likely not exist had the colonists submitted to British authority.</p>

<p>Yet another example of how powerful figures need to be questioned is Dr. Seuss’ popular children’s story “Yertle the Turtle”. This seemingly jejune tale tells of King Yertle the Turtle, who wishes to expand his reign by creating a gargantuan throne out of living turtles. It is not until one of these turtles named Mack questions his authority that he is removed from his position of power. If not for Mack’s skepticism, Yertle would have continued to dictate a pond full of innocent turtles with an iron fist. </p>

<p>In summation, the notion that powerful figures should be left unquestioned is a fallacy that can lead to dictatorship. It is only by questioning such leaders that the members of any society can achieve equality.</p>

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<p>This is really not my best work, and the examples are pretty subpar, but I’d still appreciate it if you would grade it. Kicking myself for not using something like the Civil Rights movement.</p>